I feel like I could explain trade deficits to Trump in such a way it would put this whole silly thing to rest.

And yet I … refuse to??

Seriously. Someone tell me what I’m waiting for, because I’d LOVE to know.

Other men are my sexual rivals. Why would I ever “hang out” with men when I could be gossiping about them with women, simultaneously lowering their status and increasing mine.

I’m not greedy. I don’t need a lot of likes or reposts. I just want 700 followers who all have me on mute.

I pretend to be from Pittsburgh on the internet.

My ideal Twitter clone would allow comedy people to post jokes and only jokes. What you’re reading right now would simply not be permitted.

I wrote a game where you play as Koko the gorilla. Earn your freedom by convincing your caregiver you don’t actually know sign language.

Play it for free at: clickingpointsoftware.itch.io/koko-quest

Your first instinct will be to chop off the other foot too (for symmetry). Don't. You'll need it if you ever want to count 15 of something.

Anyone know of some good morning foods? Stuff to eat when you've just woken up (before lunch).