Colorado Street Turkey
@tobytennent.bsky.social
Not really a turkey, but really a Colorado ... and a bit British and a bit Chicago.
I went to the library and found a book titled "The History of Pantomine".
I showed it to the lady on the desk, who reliably informed me that "OH NO, IT ISN'T!"
I showed it to the lady on the desk, who reliably informed me that "OH NO, IT ISN'T!"
February 11, 2026 at 2:18 PM
I went to the library and found a book titled "The History of Pantomine".
I showed it to the lady on the desk, who reliably informed me that "OH NO, IT ISN'T!"
I showed it to the lady on the desk, who reliably informed me that "OH NO, IT ISN'T!"
I tried to start a fight with the chef at a Japanese restaurant. He out tough-guyed me though.
Me: "Ima gonna throw unripened soy beans atcha!"
Him: "Oh yeah? You and whose edename?"
Me: "Ima gonna throw unripened soy beans atcha!"
Him: "Oh yeah? You and whose edename?"
February 9, 2026 at 1:07 AM
I tried to start a fight with the chef at a Japanese restaurant. He out tough-guyed me though.
Me: "Ima gonna throw unripened soy beans atcha!"
Him: "Oh yeah? You and whose edename?"
Me: "Ima gonna throw unripened soy beans atcha!"
Him: "Oh yeah? You and whose edename?"
“…visual thickening of the penis”
“…no hard proof”
This writer did a decent job of avoiding most innuendo opportunities.
www.theguardian.com/sport/2026/f...
“…no hard proof”
This writer did a decent job of avoiding most innuendo opportunities.
www.theguardian.com/sport/2026/f...
‘Penis injection’ claims in Winter Olympics ski jumping investigated by Wada
Wada is to investigate claims ski jumpers are injecting acid into their penises to game the suit-measuring system
www.theguardian.com
February 5, 2026 at 3:43 PM
“…visual thickening of the penis”
“…no hard proof”
This writer did a decent job of avoiding most innuendo opportunities.
www.theguardian.com/sport/2026/f...
“…no hard proof”
This writer did a decent job of avoiding most innuendo opportunities.
www.theguardian.com/sport/2026/f...
I was in Vegas this week at a conference. Stayed at the new salad hotel. TERRIBLE! People shouting all night, locked out of their rooms. "Lettuce Inn"
January 31, 2026 at 1:23 AM
I was in Vegas this week at a conference. Stayed at the new salad hotel. TERRIBLE! People shouting all night, locked out of their rooms. "Lettuce Inn"
Just got back from an Vietnamese sandwich shop. I don't think they liked me very much, they Bahn Mi.
January 16, 2026 at 11:53 PM
Just got back from an Vietnamese sandwich shop. I don't think they liked me very much, they Bahn Mi.
I just brought some shares in a flying car company! I hope it gets off the ground.
January 16, 2026 at 9:26 PM
I just brought some shares in a flying car company! I hope it gets off the ground.
I went to the pet store today to see if I could purchase a pair of antelopes. Came home empty handed. Too dear.
January 16, 2026 at 12:09 AM
I went to the pet store today to see if I could purchase a pair of antelopes. Came home empty handed. Too dear.
I kept losing at Uno with my buddy. They said if I give them $5 they would guarantee me a better starting hand.
As the cards went down, I knew it was a bad deal.
As the cards went down, I knew it was a bad deal.
January 15, 2026 at 7:01 AM
I kept losing at Uno with my buddy. They said if I give them $5 they would guarantee me a better starting hand.
As the cards went down, I knew it was a bad deal.
As the cards went down, I knew it was a bad deal.
I was gonna buy a garden umbrella off of Facebook Marketplace place. I backed out at the last minute, seemed shady.
January 13, 2026 at 9:42 PM
I was gonna buy a garden umbrella off of Facebook Marketplace place. I backed out at the last minute, seemed shady.
Temu is selling imported trampolines really cheap right now. But I haven't jumped on it, seems risky.
January 13, 2026 at 9:41 PM
Temu is selling imported trampolines really cheap right now. But I haven't jumped on it, seems risky.
This looks kinda amazing, but two honest questions:
1. Where do you insert the CDs into?
2. Why would you scoop the mids on the EQ?
1. Where do you insert the CDs into?
2. Why would you scoop the mids on the EQ?
January 12, 2026 at 4:22 AM
This looks kinda amazing, but two honest questions:
1. Where do you insert the CDs into?
2. Why would you scoop the mids on the EQ?
1. Where do you insert the CDs into?
2. Why would you scoop the mids on the EQ?
If you feed cantaloupe to Border Collies they get really sad.
January 12, 2026 at 2:46 AM
If you feed cantaloupe to Border Collies they get really sad.
Q: Which make better drummers, country Dwarves or city Dwarves?
A: City Dwarves, because they are all taught by metro-Gnomes
A: City Dwarves, because they are all taught by metro-Gnomes
January 10, 2026 at 3:57 AM
Q: Which make better drummers, country Dwarves or city Dwarves?
A: City Dwarves, because they are all taught by metro-Gnomes
A: City Dwarves, because they are all taught by metro-Gnomes
Asteroids make the worst boyfriends. They can't comet.
January 1, 2026 at 4:59 PM
Asteroids make the worst boyfriends. They can't comet.
*breaking news* reports coming in of an unsolicited corporate buyout of multiple European budget hotel chains.
It's a hostel takeover.
sl.bing.net/kabiZ2eF90S
It's a hostel takeover.
sl.bing.net/kabiZ2eF90S
Cheap hostel in Europe from €12/night for small budgets - a&o Hostels
Found on Bing from www.aohostels.com
sl.bing.net
December 31, 2025 at 3:12 PM
*breaking news* reports coming in of an unsolicited corporate buyout of multiple European budget hotel chains.
It's a hostel takeover.
sl.bing.net/kabiZ2eF90S
It's a hostel takeover.
sl.bing.net/kabiZ2eF90S
Of course, back in the old days the 24th was called "Christmas Adam and Eve". But then there was the whole incident with the apple and the snake, so now it's just "Christmas Eve"
December 24, 2025 at 9:48 PM
Of course, back in the old days the 24th was called "Christmas Adam and Eve". But then there was the whole incident with the apple and the snake, so now it's just "Christmas Eve"
I was watching Netflix with the doggo last night. Half way through the show he starts whining to be let out. Luckily, with streaming services you can hit paws.
December 22, 2025 at 4:32 PM
I was watching Netflix with the doggo last night. Half way through the show he starts whining to be let out. Luckily, with streaming services you can hit paws.
Mr Santa Claus - "Honey, did you check the forecast for the 24th?"
Mrs Santa Claus - "It's saying rain, dear"
Mrs Santa Claus - "It's saying rain, dear"
December 17, 2025 at 8:19 PM
Mr Santa Claus - "Honey, did you check the forecast for the 24th?"
Mrs Santa Claus - "It's saying rain, dear"
Mrs Santa Claus - "It's saying rain, dear"
Just read a book about a fantastic space under some random guy's house. It's a best cellar.
December 10, 2025 at 7:59 PM
Just read a book about a fantastic space under some random guy's house. It's a best cellar.
I slipped on a little square of ice walking the dog :(
Now I've got a wrecked ankle.
Now I've got a wrecked ankle.
December 8, 2025 at 11:46 PM
I slipped on a little square of ice walking the dog :(
Now I've got a wrecked ankle.
Now I've got a wrecked ankle.
Larry Dickem is the best thing on the internet
youtube.com/shorts/j0GXp...
youtube.com/shorts/j0GXp...
A Christmas time story exactly as you remember it!! #LarryDickem #kungfu #christmas #comedy
YouTube video by Larry Dickem
youtube.com
December 7, 2025 at 2:09 AM
Larry Dickem is the best thing on the internet
youtube.com/shorts/j0GXp...
youtube.com/shorts/j0GXp...
Q: Which greek goddess had the curliest hair?
A: Afrodite
A: Afrodite
November 24, 2025 at 9:22 PM
Q: Which greek goddess had the curliest hair?
A: Afrodite
A: Afrodite
I'm always a bit weirded out by how people look at me this time of year
November 24, 2025 at 6:06 PM
I'm always a bit weirded out by how people look at me this time of year