Pinned
Tim Peen
@timpeen.bsky.social
· Feb 20
Today I misread my friend's body language and tried to kiss him.
Apparently I'm a good kisser but a bad friend.
Apparently I'm a good kisser but a bad friend.
I’m getting word from the Jews that the new pope needs to get his own kind of hat
May 8, 2025 at 4:18 PM
I’m getting word from the Jews that the new pope needs to get his own kind of hat
“Early bird gets the worm”
What the fuck I want a worm for?
What the fuck I want a worm for?
April 23, 2025 at 10:07 PM
“Early bird gets the worm”
What the fuck I want a worm for?
What the fuck I want a worm for?
Girl it’s literally your fault
March 28, 2025 at 1:18 PM
Girl it’s literally your fault
I just realized that I can be as rude as I want to my doctor and legally he still has to help me.
March 16, 2025 at 9:06 PM
I just realized that I can be as rude as I want to my doctor and legally he still has to help me.
I just drank so much water that I pissed
March 13, 2025 at 10:36 PM
I just drank so much water that I pissed
I’m more willing to believe Lindsey Graham isn’t gay than believe he’s a power top
March 7, 2025 at 2:40 PM
I’m more willing to believe Lindsey Graham isn’t gay than believe he’s a power top
I may have lost the word argument, but I win the argument of who gets their toothbrush rubbed in my ass
March 6, 2025 at 5:21 PM
I may have lost the word argument, but I win the argument of who gets their toothbrush rubbed in my ass
There’s too much fucking shit in my ass!
March 6, 2025 at 3:41 AM
There’s too much fucking shit in my ass!
I’m just going to touch it a little bit
March 5, 2025 at 9:08 PM
I’m just going to touch it a little bit
I now trust AI Peter Griffin more than Reddit comments
March 1, 2025 at 5:19 PM
I now trust AI Peter Griffin more than Reddit comments
Giving the Epstein list on school binders is dirty work
February 28, 2025 at 4:24 AM
Giving the Epstein list on school binders is dirty work
Gonna start saying Dan instead of Damn
February 28, 2025 at 1:50 AM
Gonna start saying Dan instead of Damn
Just got fired for “too much sexual activity at work”
Life feels a little better knowing masturbating counts as sexual activity
Life feels a little better knowing masturbating counts as sexual activity
February 26, 2025 at 10:49 PM
Just got fired for “too much sexual activity at work”
Life feels a little better knowing masturbating counts as sexual activity
Life feels a little better knowing masturbating counts as sexual activity
Me whispering to my friend:
I have always loved you
I have always loved you
February 26, 2025 at 2:29 AM
Me whispering to my friend:
I have always loved you
I have always loved you
Hey scientists! When are you gonna make a robot that’s small enough to suck me off?
February 25, 2025 at 6:44 PM
Hey scientists! When are you gonna make a robot that’s small enough to suck me off?
Me to my son in the future:
“getting chicks” is how we used to say “getting pussy”
“getting chicks” is how we used to say “getting pussy”
February 25, 2025 at 4:43 AM
Me to my son in the future:
“getting chicks” is how we used to say “getting pussy”
“getting chicks” is how we used to say “getting pussy”
'm getting word from the Jews that once Pope Francis dies, they want the next one to get his own kind of hat
February 25, 2025 at 3:54 AM
'm getting word from the Jews that once Pope Francis dies, they want the next one to get his own kind of hat
Just got off the phone with the president.
Apparently I’ve had every kind of sex.
Apparently I’ve had every kind of sex.
February 25, 2025 at 12:33 AM
Just got off the phone with the president.
Apparently I’ve had every kind of sex.
Apparently I’ve had every kind of sex.
Of course egg prices skyrocket when I’m on the verge of perfecting my crème brûlée
February 24, 2025 at 9:33 PM
Of course egg prices skyrocket when I’m on the verge of perfecting my crème brûlée
Thankfully I’ll be dead before AI takes over (I’m going to kill myself)
February 21, 2025 at 9:53 PM
Thankfully I’ll be dead before AI takes over (I’m going to kill myself)
jUST got e-ffed in the 'A' by my own finger.
Thanks!
Thanks!
February 20, 2025 at 8:10 PM
jUST got e-ffed in the 'A' by my own finger.
Thanks!
Thanks!
Can there be a way to turn off the diarrhea please
February 20, 2025 at 6:56 PM
Can there be a way to turn off the diarrhea please
Today I misread my friend's body language and tried to kiss him.
Apparently I'm a good kisser but a bad friend.
Apparently I'm a good kisser but a bad friend.
February 20, 2025 at 5:13 PM
Today I misread my friend's body language and tried to kiss him.
Apparently I'm a good kisser but a bad friend.
Apparently I'm a good kisser but a bad friend.
I donn't know who needs to hear this but i have a wicked tummy ache
February 20, 2025 at 1:43 AM
I donn't know who needs to hear this but i have a wicked tummy ache