AI is an L7 Weeny, I asked that dumb bitch how many venomous snakes are in my region of CO and it just said 1… I look up on a Colorado Snake website and there’s at least 4 lol and some of them are gnarly as hell, 3 rattlesnake species & 1 other that mimics a rattlesnake, but still venomous lol.

I spooked this OG dude in the chip aisle of the Safeway with my Chicago Bears Zubaz Shorts… he was all like “ wooo man those are some cool shorts! I turned the aisle and was like woo damn lol”

Im pretty sure my friends can’t read maps, and I just want to be Goonies.

We Salute our antifascists AMERICAN insect brethren, The Lone Star Tick & The Asian Needle Ant, for their successful invasion into enemy MAGA Psuedo-Xtian Fascist Bible Belt infestations! Keep up the good work boys, keep on given them MAGAs Anaphylactic Shock & Alpha-gal Syndrome! USA! #forthetroops

ACAB*

*Exceptions

1. Judge Dredd
2. Robocop
3. McGruff The Crime Dog
4. Smokey The Bear
5. Axel Foley
6. John McClane
7. Time Cop
8. Kung Fury

I wish Charli XCX & Lorde would create a “GULL!” remix music video to “Girl, So Confusing” where they each wear Seagull cosplay & have Jim Henson Muppet seagulls flying all around them singing the backup chorus, “GULL!”