If I had a pickle for every time someone mistook me for a young Brad Lee Coopers

Salads are really interesting if you think about them long enough. Just another one of life’s great mysteries I guess

Every time I try to make a wrap, it just turns into a giant taco.

I mean it’s common knowledge at this point that Elon bought Twitter to interfere with elections, right? Seems super obvious, no?

I’m thinking really hard about what my first post will be. I’m not sure yet but I have some ideas and they’re nothing short of fantastic. Stay tuned.