Matty P
@thisismattyp.bsky.social
38, Wrestling, Footy, Cooking, Music, Beer, Simpsons. I have about 4 other interests.
Pinned
Matty P
@thisismattyp.bsky.social
· Dec 7
A long while ago when I was working checkouts at Tesco, a lady was in with a basket full of lightbulbs, like 20 of them and I said "Just a light shop today then?" I have been unable to beat that, 18 years on.
The derogatory term "Mid" is actually short for "Midl of Lidl".
November 19, 2025 at 5:13 PM
The derogatory term "Mid" is actually short for "Midl of Lidl".
AND HEAVEN KNOWS I'M MISERABLE NOW
October 29, 2025 at 3:11 PM
AND HEAVEN KNOWS I'M MISERABLE NOW
I didn't realise how much I would mark out for Timeless Toni either.
August 24, 2025 at 11:00 PM
I didn't realise how much I would mark out for Timeless Toni either.
Forbidden Door was an absolute blast. The Bucks coming out to Mmmbop was an absolute vibe. Saying goodbye to Tana is hard enough without possibly having to say goodbye to Will.
August 24, 2025 at 10:58 PM
Forbidden Door was an absolute blast. The Bucks coming out to Mmmbop was an absolute vibe. Saying goodbye to Tana is hard enough without possibly having to say goodbye to Will.
10 years ago to the day, I received my most favourite birthday card ever
July 19, 2025 at 12:41 PM
10 years ago to the day, I received my most favourite birthday card ever
Why are pretzels listed as bread items when they are quite clearly knot bread?
July 15, 2025 at 11:40 AM
Why are pretzels listed as bread items when they are quite clearly knot bread?
Just started reading Samuel Pepys' diary and I'm glad he said "it's pronounced Peeps not Peppies" at the start, plus he said what he had for breakfast which was a bonus.
June 18, 2025 at 12:27 PM
Just started reading Samuel Pepys' diary and I'm glad he said "it's pronounced Peeps not Peppies" at the start, plus he said what he had for breakfast which was a bonus.
How many Temple Bar drinks bills will I need to see shared online before I tell the latest sharer to have heeded the warning of the entire internet?
Not a pub. A tourist trap. And despite warnings, you got caught.
Not a pub. A tourist trap. And despite warnings, you got caught.
June 11, 2025 at 3:42 PM
How many Temple Bar drinks bills will I need to see shared online before I tell the latest sharer to have heeded the warning of the entire internet?
Not a pub. A tourist trap. And despite warnings, you got caught.
Not a pub. A tourist trap. And despite warnings, you got caught.
I don't like to do this but I am going through an incredibly hard time at the moment as many do but I've never felt so out of control in my life. So, any show of love or supported would be appreciated.
Maybe, normal service will resume shortly.
Maybe, normal service will resume shortly.
June 8, 2025 at 2:22 PM
I don't like to do this but I am going through an incredibly hard time at the moment as many do but I've never felt so out of control in my life. So, any show of love or supported would be appreciated.
Maybe, normal service will resume shortly.
Maybe, normal service will resume shortly.
I'd like to say that my dad gives a lot of money to charity instead of actually saying he should be banned from ever entering a charity shop because he buys so much pointless tat.
May 19, 2025 at 9:46 AM
I'd like to say that my dad gives a lot of money to charity instead of actually saying he should be banned from ever entering a charity shop because he buys so much pointless tat.
If history is anything to go by, Switzerland are going to be the most ambivalent host country in Eurovision history and that is a good thing.
May 13, 2025 at 7:04 PM
If history is anything to go by, Switzerland are going to be the most ambivalent host country in Eurovision history and that is a good thing.
I love dogs but "yeah I'll follow you forever until there's a tree" is a strange way to live.
May 3, 2025 at 1:34 PM
I love dogs but "yeah I'll follow you forever until there's a tree" is a strange way to live.
Shit Wrestlemania plus shit cuts equals Pendell out. Half of them spoke out against Trump on social media by the way.
May 3, 2025 at 12:18 AM
Shit Wrestlemania plus shit cuts equals Pendell out. Half of them spoke out against Trump on social media by the way.
Finally bought myself the @lateralcast.com book, which will no doubt make me feel like an idiot if the podcast is anything to go by. Either way, Can't wait to get started on some questions!
April 30, 2025 at 5:14 PM
Finally bought myself the @lateralcast.com book, which will no doubt make me feel like an idiot if the podcast is anything to go by. Either way, Can't wait to get started on some questions!
I am buying this for Forbidden Door.
April 30, 2025 at 4:30 PM
I am buying this for Forbidden Door.
Bearing in mind that this is entirely for charity, would it still be wrong to open up a charity footwear shop and call it "Dead man's shoes"?
April 29, 2025 at 11:17 AM
Bearing in mind that this is entirely for charity, would it still be wrong to open up a charity footwear shop and call it "Dead man's shoes"?
Going to FD with two of my most favourite people in the world. Sometimes life is cool
April 28, 2025 at 10:02 PM
Going to FD with two of my most favourite people in the world. Sometimes life is cool
Sometimes I feel like singing My Sharona
See every time I hear that tune I just start singing awaaaaayeyyyyy
The song that was performed by the Knack
See every time I hear that tune I just start singing awaaaaayeyyyyy
The song that was performed by the Knack
April 23, 2025 at 10:24 AM
Sometimes I feel like singing My Sharona
See every time I hear that tune I just start singing awaaaaayeyyyyy
The song that was performed by the Knack
See every time I hear that tune I just start singing awaaaaayeyyyyy
The song that was performed by the Knack
Hi welcome to Britain. We are literally that guy deepthroating a whisk and people caring more about a tree being cut down than War Crimes and Trans Rights. What is the length of your stay?
April 18, 2025 at 10:13 AM
Hi welcome to Britain. We are literally that guy deepthroating a whisk and people caring more about a tree being cut down than War Crimes and Trans Rights. What is the length of your stay?
3D cinema was a strange craze wasn't it? Like "Happy evening out guys, please wear these ridiculous glasses for 3 hours but don't worry the first 3 minutes and 27 seconds will be like 'WHOA"..."
April 14, 2025 at 7:47 AM
3D cinema was a strange craze wasn't it? Like "Happy evening out guys, please wear these ridiculous glasses for 3 hours but don't worry the first 3 minutes and 27 seconds will be like 'WHOA"..."
Me applying for a job in Canada:
"So what parts of Canadian culture are you aware of?"
Me - "Ice Hockey"
"Oh right, what teams do you like?"
Me - "The teams responsible for lookalike cam"
"So what parts of Canadian culture are you aware of?"
Me - "Ice Hockey"
"Oh right, what teams do you like?"
Me - "The teams responsible for lookalike cam"
April 13, 2025 at 7:32 PM
Me applying for a job in Canada:
"So what parts of Canadian culture are you aware of?"
Me - "Ice Hockey"
"Oh right, what teams do you like?"
Me - "The teams responsible for lookalike cam"
"So what parts of Canadian culture are you aware of?"
Me - "Ice Hockey"
"Oh right, what teams do you like?"
Me - "The teams responsible for lookalike cam"
If I could wake up tomorrow morning to a few messages of support, I would probably really appreciate it.
I have had a horrible week and once again homelessness is looming.
I have had a horrible week and once again homelessness is looming.
April 8, 2025 at 9:46 PM
If I could wake up tomorrow morning to a few messages of support, I would probably really appreciate it.
I have had a horrible week and once again homelessness is looming.
I have had a horrible week and once again homelessness is looming.
Yo if anyone based in UK has a minute would they mind possibly signing this? My Stepmum is disabled and relies on PIP but under this proposed system her and thousands like her would be denied. Heaviest shoulders my ass. www.change.org/p/stop-the-n...
Sign the Petition
STOP the new 4 point PIP rule
www.change.org
April 6, 2025 at 4:10 PM
Yo if anyone based in UK has a minute would they mind possibly signing this? My Stepmum is disabled and relies on PIP but under this proposed system her and thousands like her would be denied. Heaviest shoulders my ass. www.change.org/p/stop-the-n...
Anyway I weighed myself for the first time in ages this morning and I am down to just over 13 stone which is the lightest I've been in about 5 years so there is that.
April 2, 2025 at 9:44 AM
Anyway I weighed myself for the first time in ages this morning and I am down to just over 13 stone which is the lightest I've been in about 5 years so there is that.
Our chef has been talking to me about how much he has suffered with hayfever for the first time this weekend. He's been going on for 45 minutes I'm not even joking. 45 minutes to a guy who has had hayfever for 25+ years.
April 2, 2025 at 9:43 AM
Our chef has been talking to me about how much he has suffered with hayfever for the first time this weekend. He's been going on for 45 minutes I'm not even joking. 45 minutes to a guy who has had hayfever for 25+ years.