Kit Carter
@thirstaidkit.bsky.social
Writer and Co-Creator of The Infallible Joke Formula at Caveat.
@kitcarterkitcarter @infalliblejokeformula
@kitcarterkitcarter @infalliblejokeformula
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Kit Carter
@thirstaidkit.bsky.social
· Dec 5
You can keep your drugs. I'm getting slizzard on life.
me getting hot and heavy during a one-night stand:
"Pull my hair and lie to me-"
Immanuel Kant:
(*gets out of bed and starts getting dressed*)
"I think you should go."
Me:
"But wait, I-"
Immanuel Kant:
"You need to leave."
"Pull my hair and lie to me-"
Immanuel Kant:
(*gets out of bed and starts getting dressed*)
"I think you should go."
Me:
"But wait, I-"
Immanuel Kant:
"You need to leave."
November 26, 2025 at 11:39 PM
me getting hot and heavy during a one-night stand:
"Pull my hair and lie to me-"
Immanuel Kant:
(*gets out of bed and starts getting dressed*)
"I think you should go."
Me:
"But wait, I-"
Immanuel Kant:
"You need to leave."
"Pull my hair and lie to me-"
Immanuel Kant:
(*gets out of bed and starts getting dressed*)
"I think you should go."
Me:
"But wait, I-"
Immanuel Kant:
"You need to leave."
Me:
"As Immanuel Kant said, When kitten lies, it makes daddy sad."
Them: "We can't judge the lie until we see the consequences on the larger population-"
Me: "well that's utilitarianism kitten, and frankly, the best way to maximize happiness is not to contradict daddy."
"As Immanuel Kant said, When kitten lies, it makes daddy sad."
Them: "We can't judge the lie until we see the consequences on the larger population-"
Me: "well that's utilitarianism kitten, and frankly, the best way to maximize happiness is not to contradict daddy."
November 26, 2025 at 3:25 PM
Me:
"As Immanuel Kant said, When kitten lies, it makes daddy sad."
Them: "We can't judge the lie until we see the consequences on the larger population-"
Me: "well that's utilitarianism kitten, and frankly, the best way to maximize happiness is not to contradict daddy."
"As Immanuel Kant said, When kitten lies, it makes daddy sad."
Them: "We can't judge the lie until we see the consequences on the larger population-"
Me: "well that's utilitarianism kitten, and frankly, the best way to maximize happiness is not to contradict daddy."
RIP Frankenstein’s Monster, you would have loved Bittersweet Symphony by The Verve 😔
November 26, 2025 at 3:09 PM
RIP Frankenstein’s Monster, you would have loved Bittersweet Symphony by The Verve 😔
Why ogle the cow when you can gargle the milk for free, my guy?
November 11, 2025 at 7:49 PM
Why ogle the cow when you can gargle the milk for free, my guy?
As Marcus Aurelius once said; “an ant would kill to be you rn”
November 11, 2025 at 7:48 PM
As Marcus Aurelius once said; “an ant would kill to be you rn”
Renaming my pussy Charlie Kirk cuz I love when you hit the spot that makes it gush
November 11, 2025 at 7:46 PM
Renaming my pussy Charlie Kirk cuz I love when you hit the spot that makes it gush
My rising sign is "and shine"
March 6, 2025 at 11:00 PM
My rising sign is "and shine"
Brainstorming lies like
"I got my cap thinking cap on"
"I got my cap thinking cap on"
March 6, 2025 at 10:42 PM
Brainstorming lies like
"I got my cap thinking cap on"
"I got my cap thinking cap on"
Me trying to show a pic off my phone to a coworker without accidentally flashing them
March 6, 2025 at 8:47 PM
Me trying to show a pic off my phone to a coworker without accidentally flashing them
Taking my dog's collar off at the end of the day because if I can take my bra off she can take off her's too.
March 6, 2025 at 1:47 PM
Taking my dog's collar off at the end of the day because if I can take my bra off she can take off her's too.
Really craving some gruel right about now. No one makes slop like they used to.
March 6, 2025 at 1:45 PM
Really craving some gruel right about now. No one makes slop like they used to.
Brb I'm matching MY OWN freak.
March 6, 2025 at 1:44 PM
Brb I'm matching MY OWN freak.
AI took my job a few years ago, and the only person who really knows my pain is Charlie Bucket's dad at the beginning of that Tim Burton Wonka film.
March 5, 2025 at 2:33 PM
AI took my job a few years ago, and the only person who really knows my pain is Charlie Bucket's dad at the beginning of that Tim Burton Wonka film.
I'm either ballin' or I'm bawlin'
March 5, 2025 at 2:34 AM
I'm either ballin' or I'm bawlin'
Sometimes when we empathize with others, we think about if their sickness was put on top of our health. We don't think about what if our health were taken away.
In other words- I gave myself a bowlcut and lost my pretty privilege. Got a lotta thinkin to do.
In other words- I gave myself a bowlcut and lost my pretty privilege. Got a lotta thinkin to do.
March 4, 2025 at 10:08 PM
Sometimes when we empathize with others, we think about if their sickness was put on top of our health. We don't think about what if our health were taken away.
In other words- I gave myself a bowlcut and lost my pretty privilege. Got a lotta thinkin to do.
In other words- I gave myself a bowlcut and lost my pretty privilege. Got a lotta thinkin to do.
"We are so back."
But in a measured way. Because we've been "back" before, and didn't go very well.
But in a measured way. Because we've been "back" before, and didn't go very well.
March 4, 2025 at 10:03 PM
"We are so back."
But in a measured way. Because we've been "back" before, and didn't go very well.
But in a measured way. Because we've been "back" before, and didn't go very well.
"It's always 'How now?' never 'why now?'."
- Brown Cow
- Brown Cow
January 22, 2025 at 5:32 AM
"It's always 'How now?' never 'why now?'."
- Brown Cow
- Brown Cow
I'm not here to get political but y'all see how the masses are thirsting after this Luigi guy?
Incels... take notes. Ok? That's all.
Incels... take notes. Ok? That's all.
December 11, 2024 at 12:14 AM
I'm not here to get political but y'all see how the masses are thirsting after this Luigi guy?
Incels... take notes. Ok? That's all.
Incels... take notes. Ok? That's all.
Ngl the "eat hot chip and lie" lifestyle is looking more and more appealing each day
December 7, 2024 at 3:38 PM
Ngl the "eat hot chip and lie" lifestyle is looking more and more appealing each day
You can keep your drugs. I'm getting slizzard on life.
December 5, 2024 at 9:24 PM
You can keep your drugs. I'm getting slizzard on life.
You're telling me a pro lapsed this anus?
December 5, 2024 at 9:20 PM
You're telling me a pro lapsed this anus?
Y'all think dogs know not to look at the sun?
December 5, 2024 at 9:19 PM
Y'all think dogs know not to look at the sun?