@thestevenprice.bsky.social
It was Professor Plum....in the Conservatory...with a pretzel!
Don't be surprised. These whodunits always end with a twist.
Don't be surprised. These whodunits always end with a twist.
September 13, 2025 at 3:07 PM
It was Professor Plum....in the Conservatory...with a pretzel!
Don't be surprised. These whodunits always end with a twist.
Don't be surprised. These whodunits always end with a twist.
Why are none of those meatheaded first amendment auditors out there holding ICE agents accountable for their unconstitutional activities? Seems to me like a goldmine of potential YouTube content
September 9, 2025 at 7:05 PM
Why are none of those meatheaded first amendment auditors out there holding ICE agents accountable for their unconstitutional activities? Seems to me like a goldmine of potential YouTube content
The next big thing : corduroy pillows. They'll be making headlines!
August 19, 2025 at 10:18 AM
The next big thing : corduroy pillows. They'll be making headlines!
So, first this chick is on the deck of a battleship waving two little flags. Next thing I know, she's sitting by a fire sending up puffs of smoke with a blanket.
I'm definitely getting mixed signals.
I'm definitely getting mixed signals.
August 6, 2025 at 12:04 AM
So, first this chick is on the deck of a battleship waving two little flags. Next thing I know, she's sitting by a fire sending up puffs of smoke with a blanket.
I'm definitely getting mixed signals.
I'm definitely getting mixed signals.
I'm very popular. The sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods,wasteoids, dweebies, dickheads - they all adore me. They think I'm a righteous dude.
July 28, 2025 at 3:51 PM
I'm very popular. The sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods,wasteoids, dweebies, dickheads - they all adore me. They think I'm a righteous dude.
When you're swimming along
And an eel eats your thong
That's a moray
And an eel eats your thong
That's a moray
July 18, 2025 at 11:58 AM
When you're swimming along
And an eel eats your thong
That's a moray
And an eel eats your thong
That's a moray
"Poopwaffle" is not a legitimate word, according to the NYT Spelling Bee.
July 11, 2025 at 12:01 PM
"Poopwaffle" is not a legitimate word, according to the NYT Spelling Bee.
Bring in da noise
Bring in da funk
Take out da garbage
Bring in da funk
Take out da garbage
July 4, 2025 at 1:18 AM
Bring in da noise
Bring in da funk
Take out da garbage
Bring in da funk
Take out da garbage
Next, Trump will be sendng in the Navy Seals, mostly because he's always wanted to see them play a row of bicycle horns with their noses
June 11, 2025 at 12:16 PM
Next, Trump will be sendng in the Navy Seals, mostly because he's always wanted to see them play a row of bicycle horns with their noses
Now is the perfect time for me to shoot a sideways glance at the camera, temporarily breaking the fourth wall, and slowly shake my head in exasperation.
May 20, 2025 at 7:18 PM
Now is the perfect time for me to shoot a sideways glance at the camera, temporarily breaking the fourth wall, and slowly shake my head in exasperation.
I'm only paranoid because everyone is against me.
May 11, 2025 at 3:36 PM
I'm only paranoid because everyone is against me.
I managed to pepper-spray the mugger before he ran away. Police are searching for a seasoned criminal.
April 4, 2025 at 11:22 AM
I managed to pepper-spray the mugger before he ran away. Police are searching for a seasoned criminal.
My employer wants me to sign up for their 401k. There's no way I could run that far.
March 6, 2025 at 1:10 PM
My employer wants me to sign up for their 401k. There's no way I could run that far.
The Mexican magician claimed that he could make a rabbit disappear before he counted to three. He waved his magic wand and chanted, "Uno...dos..." and the rabbit vanished without a tres.
March 1, 2025 at 6:25 PM
The Mexican magician claimed that he could make a rabbit disappear before he counted to three. He waved his magic wand and chanted, "Uno...dos..." and the rabbit vanished without a tres.
When the moon hits your knees
As you mispronounce trees -
Sycamore
As you mispronounce trees -
Sycamore
February 25, 2025 at 12:13 PM
When the moon hits your knees
As you mispronounce trees -
Sycamore
As you mispronounce trees -
Sycamore
"Shootin' at the walls of heartache
Chitty Chitty
I am the warrior..."
Scandal
Lyrics (First pass)
1984
Chitty Chitty
I am the warrior..."
Scandal
Lyrics (First pass)
1984
February 15, 2025 at 8:10 PM
"Shootin' at the walls of heartache
Chitty Chitty
I am the warrior..."
Scandal
Lyrics (First pass)
1984
Chitty Chitty
I am the warrior..."
Scandal
Lyrics (First pass)
1984
It's been almost three years since my lower legs were amputated. You'd think somebody would have invited me to go on a pub crawl by now.
February 6, 2025 at 3:05 PM
It's been almost three years since my lower legs were amputated. You'd think somebody would have invited me to go on a pub crawl by now.
Several teenagers were caught trying to bungee jump off the side of the high school. They were all suspended.
February 2, 2025 at 4:47 PM
Several teenagers were caught trying to bungee jump off the side of the high school. They were all suspended.
A visitor to the Louvre was arrested after trying to have his way with the Venus de Milo. He was charged with statutory rape.
January 30, 2025 at 2:04 PM
A visitor to the Louvre was arrested after trying to have his way with the Venus de Milo. He was charged with statutory rape.
"Turtle soup, waiter, and make it snappy!"
January 25, 2025 at 7:52 PM
"Turtle soup, waiter, and make it snappy!"
The flasher wanted to retire, but he decided to stick it out for another year.
January 23, 2025 at 12:38 PM
The flasher wanted to retire, but he decided to stick it out for another year.
I removed my shirt, took a knife and a stick of butter, and patted myself on the back.
January 21, 2025 at 1:09 PM
I removed my shirt, took a knife and a stick of butter, and patted myself on the back.
As I've grown older, I've become a bit of a square. Perhaps I should consider having my hip replaced.
January 18, 2025 at 3:06 PM
As I've grown older, I've become a bit of a square. Perhaps I should consider having my hip replaced.