Watched the Spiderverse movie the other day, and was dissapointed that there was no version of Spiderman that had horrific hands made of spiders called Spiderhands.

I'm not built like the rest, I work half as hard for twice as long.

*picture of socks in a corporate boardroom* "Introducing the shankle, a shirt for your ankle."

We hang out, but we're not compromising-emojis-on-Venmo close.

Apartments are fancy cat aquariums.

You can call me anything, but don't call me late to dinner.

Get ready to skeet