I wonder how Jar Jar Binks is doing these days. Watching his secret evil plans be methodically torn apart must've been frustrating. What does he get up to in his retirement?

I think I've decided to become a wizard.

There is nothing scarier than a haunted shopping list.

If we found a way to connect dog zoomies to the grid we would have unlimited clean energy.

Sometimes I feel like the intro to that one pink Floyd song. Other times I feel like the end of that other pink Floyd song.
Mostly though I think I feel like the bridge in that one pink Floyd song.

Is this how influencing works? Can I have money now?

It turns out that clams on popsicle sticks are actually the original otter Pops. Rest in peace, little surfer dudes.

I wouldn't be surprised if clams used popsicle sticks as surfboards. 

Day 4: Still sitting outside my front door waiting for this spider to move.

I've come to terms with the fact that if a spider tries to spin a web across my front door, I'm going to sign the deed over and find somewhere else to live. If Mr. spider wants a mortgage, he's welcome to it.

Oh no, my cat figured out how to turn my computer off! Please send help before it's

The only thing to fear is fear itself.
while fear:
fear++

It is the ordered mind which despairs upon waking, for the world can never be as one dreams it. Folly, this is the stuff of folding laundry.

Note to self: Think of something profound to say on the Internet later.