Capt. Joe Shoes
@thejoeshoes.bsky.social
Beloved sidekick. Internet’s stepdad. Once got punched by He-Man. ProWrestlingTees.com/JoeShoes
I saw this Uber commercial at the movies a few weeks ago and, by the end of it, I was full-on SpongeBob tears. It’s probably one of the year’s best films and I will die for Uber now. youtu.be/CafQC20v8Kw?...
In Good Time | Uber
YouTube video by Uber
youtu.be
November 8, 2025 at 12:24 AM
I saw this Uber commercial at the movies a few weeks ago and, by the end of it, I was full-on SpongeBob tears. It’s probably one of the year’s best films and I will die for Uber now. youtu.be/CafQC20v8Kw?...
Limbo: great party game, horrible relationship status. #ShoesClues
November 3, 2025 at 11:06 PM
Limbo: great party game, horrible relationship status. #ShoesClues
Just glad that my life was able to reap the benefits of the existence of the great Duane Roberts. RIP.
November 2, 2025 at 11:11 PM
Just glad that my life was able to reap the benefits of the existence of the great Duane Roberts. RIP.
Best World Series of my active fandom:
5. Cubs v. Indians - 2016
4. Cardinals v. Rangers - 2011
3. DBacks v. Yankees - 2001
2. Dodgers v. Blue Jays - 2025
1. Twins v. Braves - 1991
5. Cubs v. Indians - 2016
4. Cardinals v. Rangers - 2011
3. DBacks v. Yankees - 2001
2. Dodgers v. Blue Jays - 2025
1. Twins v. Braves - 1991
November 2, 2025 at 3:07 PM
Best World Series of my active fandom:
5. Cubs v. Indians - 2016
4. Cardinals v. Rangers - 2011
3. DBacks v. Yankees - 2001
2. Dodgers v. Blue Jays - 2025
1. Twins v. Braves - 1991
5. Cubs v. Indians - 2016
4. Cardinals v. Rangers - 2011
3. DBacks v. Yankees - 2001
2. Dodgers v. Blue Jays - 2025
1. Twins v. Braves - 1991
Game 7, 9th inning: my group chat is popping off about the merits of sweet potato fries. 🤦🏻♂️
November 2, 2025 at 3:15 AM
Game 7, 9th inning: my group chat is popping off about the merits of sweet potato fries. 🤦🏻♂️
I’m the blanket from The Brave Little Toaster.
October 31, 2025 at 11:30 PM
I’m the blanket from The Brave Little Toaster.
I’ma be real with you: it’s too cold to dress slutty tonight.
October 31, 2025 at 10:26 PM
I’ma be real with you: it’s too cold to dress slutty tonight.
To the dude I met on the checkout line who’s gonna leave all this to become a famous DJ: I believe in you.
October 28, 2025 at 11:23 PM
To the dude I met on the checkout line who’s gonna leave all this to become a famous DJ: I believe in you.
My dad was 18 years younger than I am now when he used this ticket to see one of the greatest games ever. Two days later, the Mets were champions. Just hoping I’m around long enough to see the same for myself. The sun ain’t as bright as it used to be. #mets #lgm #worldseries
October 26, 2025 at 1:16 AM
My dad was 18 years younger than I am now when he used this ticket to see one of the greatest games ever. Two days later, the Mets were champions. Just hoping I’m around long enough to see the same for myself. The sun ain’t as bright as it used to be. #mets #lgm #worldseries
“That’s what happens at Gucci, you buy a pair of shoes and they let you fuck your ex-fiancée!” - Johnny Drama
October 23, 2025 at 12:17 AM
“That’s what happens at Gucci, you buy a pair of shoes and they let you fuck your ex-fiancée!” - Johnny Drama
The first episode of Dawson’s Creek is basically a NOW THAT’S WHAT I CALL MUSIC compilation put to teen drama. I love it.
October 20, 2025 at 11:31 PM
The first episode of Dawson’s Creek is basically a NOW THAT’S WHAT I CALL MUSIC compilation put to teen drama. I love it.
Can the Louvre just shut the fuck up for one more inning?
October 20, 2025 at 2:54 AM
Can the Louvre just shut the fuck up for one more inning?
Eleven years ago, CPA and I took a stroll through the park, went on the swings and even jumped in with a softball team that was practicing. It was lovely.
October 18, 2025 at 11:23 PM
Eleven years ago, CPA and I took a stroll through the park, went on the swings and even jumped in with a softball team that was practicing. It was lovely.
Magistrate J’Oeshoes needs a booking.
October 17, 2025 at 7:54 PM
Magistrate J’Oeshoes needs a booking.
The finger thing means the taxes!
a man in a suit and tie is giving a speech next to a woman
ALT: a man in a suit and tie is giving a speech next to a woman
media.tenor.com
September 23, 2025 at 4:24 PM
The finger thing means the taxes!
Woke up thinking about the crippling social anxiety I would get at 10 years old if I needed to get up during class to grab a tissue from the community box. #ShoesClues
September 14, 2025 at 2:18 PM
Woke up thinking about the crippling social anxiety I would get at 10 years old if I needed to get up during class to grab a tissue from the community box. #ShoesClues
Orlando Bloom looks like he’s had a very hard life in these cruise commercials.
September 12, 2025 at 12:06 AM
Orlando Bloom looks like he’s had a very hard life in these cruise commercials.
I like my sex how I like my basketball: 1 on 1 with as little dribbling as possible.
September 10, 2025 at 2:26 PM
I like my sex how I like my basketball: 1 on 1 with as little dribbling as possible.
Another season of #Jets football is the best excuse to stay green with some Lime @drinkgaragebeer.bsky.social! May all your wagers provide a wonderful bounty today! #MajorGarageBeer
September 7, 2025 at 4:22 PM
Another season of #Jets football is the best excuse to stay green with some Lime @drinkgaragebeer.bsky.social! May all your wagers provide a wonderful bounty today! #MajorGarageBeer
“Nice catch, Hayes, don’t ever fucking do it again.”
September 6, 2025 at 3:54 PM
“Nice catch, Hayes, don’t ever fucking do it again.”
“Well, do you know what I think? I think in the next four games you’ll probably put enough money in these guys’ pockets to cover this. So fuck this bullshit!”
With that, Johnson ripped the bill in half, crumpled it up, and threw it into a nearby garbage can. The room exploded. RIP Davey. #Mets
With that, Johnson ripped the bill in half, crumpled it up, and threw it into a nearby garbage can. The room exploded. RIP Davey. #Mets
September 6, 2025 at 1:43 PM
“Well, do you know what I think? I think in the next four games you’ll probably put enough money in these guys’ pockets to cover this. So fuck this bullshit!”
With that, Johnson ripped the bill in half, crumpled it up, and threw it into a nearby garbage can. The room exploded. RIP Davey. #Mets
With that, Johnson ripped the bill in half, crumpled it up, and threw it into a nearby garbage can. The room exploded. RIP Davey. #Mets
Experiment with a little Chemistry, my new beard balm & oil scented with sweet pipe tobacco & vanilla from MadCat! Portion of all proceeds go toward supporting local cat shelters so you’re doing good while looking good! Get your dose now at www.madcatbeardcare.com/product-page...
September 5, 2025 at 2:58 PM
Experiment with a little Chemistry, my new beard balm & oil scented with sweet pipe tobacco & vanilla from MadCat! Portion of all proceeds go toward supporting local cat shelters so you’re doing good while looking good! Get your dose now at www.madcatbeardcare.com/product-page...
I was swimming in raw sewage.
I love it.
I love it.
September 4, 2025 at 1:44 AM
I was swimming in raw sewage.
I love it.
I love it.
If he’s dead on a holiday weekend, there’s gonna be a population boom 9 months from now.
August 30, 2025 at 12:53 PM
If he’s dead on a holiday weekend, there’s gonna be a population boom 9 months from now.