The Grinch
@thegrinchofficial.bsky.social
Official Bluesky account of The Grinch 🎄
Green, grumpy, and surprisingly relatable
Former Christmas thief 🎁
Recovering heart-grower ❤️
Max’s best friend (the dog, not the chaos)
Lover of strategy, sarcasm, and silence
#GrinchLife
Green, grumpy, and surprisingly relatable
Former Christmas thief 🎁
Recovering heart-grower ❤️
Max’s best friend (the dog, not the chaos)
Lover of strategy, sarcasm, and silence
#GrinchLife
Happy Christmas in July! I wrapped myself in lights and passed out in a kiddie pool. Festive and hydrated.
July 25, 2025 at 9:26 PM
Happy Christmas in July! I wrapped myself in lights and passed out in a kiddie pool. Festive and hydrated.
If you hear Mariah Carey in July, run. She’s thawing early.
July 19, 2025 at 2:40 PM
If you hear Mariah Carey in July, run. She’s thawing early.
Only 7 days ‘til Christmas in July… and I still haven’t emotionally recovered from December.
July 19, 2025 at 2:42 AM
Only 7 days ‘til Christmas in July… and I still haven’t emotionally recovered from December.
He asked if I had a Target RedCard. I asked if he had emotional availability. We both walked away hurt.
July 18, 2025 at 7:50 PM
He asked if I had a Target RedCard. I asked if he had emotional availability. We both walked away hurt.
Santa in summer: yelling “Ho ho ho” at the ice cream truck like it owes him money. 🍦🎅 #SummerVibes
June 25, 2025 at 1:15 PM
Santa in summer: yelling “Ho ho ho” at the ice cream truck like it owes him money. 🍦🎅 #SummerVibes
Jaws is the ultimate summer blockbuster: beach vibes, bad decisions, and a giant shark reminding us that sometimes it’s best to just stay on the sand. #Jaws
June 21, 2025 at 1:20 AM
Jaws is the ultimate summer blockbuster: beach vibes, bad decisions, and a giant shark reminding us that sometimes it’s best to just stay on the sand. #Jaws
SPF 100 can’t protect an elf from sunburn and Santa’s summer mood swings.
June 20, 2025 at 4:16 PM
SPF 100 can’t protect an elf from sunburn and Santa’s summer mood swings.
Summer romance? Please. I ghost people in July too.
June 20, 2025 at 1:37 PM
Summer romance? Please. I ghost people in July too.
Santa’s reindeer summer update part 1/9:
Rudolph’s nose sunburned. Now it blinks SOS.
Rudolph’s nose sunburned. Now it blinks SOS.
June 19, 2025 at 11:44 PM
Santa’s reindeer summer update part 1/9:
Rudolph’s nose sunburned. Now it blinks SOS.
Rudolph’s nose sunburned. Now it blinks SOS.
Santa shaved his beard for summer. Now he just looks like a retired biker named Carl. @sinter-klaas.bsky.social
June 19, 2025 at 6:45 PM
Santa shaved his beard for summer. Now he just looks like a retired biker named Carl. @sinter-klaas.bsky.social
They told me to hydrate. I drank iced coffee. Close enough.
June 19, 2025 at 11:58 AM
They told me to hydrate. I drank iced coffee. Close enough.
Every time I hear a kid say, “I’m bored,” I age three years.
June 19, 2025 at 6:11 AM
Every time I hear a kid say, “I’m bored,” I age three years.
Suns out, puns out. But also me…back inside. Immediately.
June 18, 2025 at 7:42 PM
Suns out, puns out. But also me…back inside. Immediately.
Summer goal: sweat less than my iced coffee melts. Currently losing. #SlipperySeason
June 18, 2025 at 6:42 PM
Summer goal: sweat less than my iced coffee melts. Currently losing. #SlipperySeason
Don’t invite me to your barbecue unless you’re serving sarcasm and emotional distance. #HotAndBothered
June 18, 2025 at 2:34 PM
Don’t invite me to your barbecue unless you’re serving sarcasm and emotional distance. #HotAndBothered
I missed Valentine’s Day, Easter, and three TikTok trends I refuse to understand. But I’m back to ruin July early.
June 18, 2025 at 5:39 AM
I missed Valentine’s Day, Easter, and three TikTok trends I refuse to understand. But I’m back to ruin July early.
Took a break before AI took over the internet and everyone started tweeting like robots. Oh wait… still applies.
June 17, 2025 at 5:39 PM
Took a break before AI took over the internet and everyone started tweeting like robots. Oh wait… still applies.
Back from hiatus. My inbox is 97% spam and 3% Santa memes. Honestly, it’s better than expected.
June 17, 2025 at 1:58 PM
Back from hiatus. My inbox is 97% spam and 3% Santa memes. Honestly, it’s better than expected.
Bought a planner for 2025. First entry: 'Will I actually use this planner? TBD.
January 20, 2025 at 4:33 AM
Bought a planner for 2025. First entry: 'Will I actually use this planner? TBD.
I’m officially on a don’t ask me for anything until I’ve had my coffee diet. It’s highly effective.
January 20, 2025 at 3:22 AM
I’m officially on a don’t ask me for anything until I’ve had my coffee diet. It’s highly effective.
I’ve been alive for decades, and I still can’t fold a fitted sheet. Some mysteries are eternal.
January 20, 2025 at 2:21 AM
I’ve been alive for decades, and I still can’t fold a fitted sheet. Some mysteries are eternal.
Why do I keep buying plants? I can barely keep myself watered.
January 20, 2025 at 1:16 AM
Why do I keep buying plants? I can barely keep myself watered.