I wanna stay nice and lean and tight. I wanna get that Jesus on the cross look. #IASIP #ItsAlwaysSunnyInPhiladelphia

No shit. I was so close. #IASIP #ItsAlwaysSunny

So which one of us do you want to take you in the back and bang you? #IASIP #Itsalwayssunny #philadelphia

Hit up a pay phone so that she can’t trace the calls back to you. Give her a call and say something along the lines of: “I’m watching you, you bitch! You’re gonna die tonight!!” #IASIP #ItsAlwaysSunny

Boney American is dirty, dirty whore. She bring much shame to herself and country. #IASIP #ItsAlwaysSunnyInPhiladelphia

I’m to remember every man I’ve seen fall into a plate of spaghetti? #IASIP #ItsAlwaysSunny

Prepare to experience sexual magic #IASIP #AlwaysSunny #Philadelphia

I have arranged for you to use ze gloryhooole #IASIP #AlwaysSunny

Sooong? Or nooo sooong?? #IASIP #AlwaysSunny

I do not tangle with lot lizards no more. No sir. Back in the day, sure, I would've indulged. Hell, I would've let you turn me into Swiss cheese. #IASIP #ItsAlwaysSunny

I’m in love with a man. What? I’m in love with a man, a man called God. Does that make me gay? Am I gay for God? You betcha. #IASIP #ItsAlwaysSunny

What is your spaghetti policy here? #IASIP #ItsAlwaysSunny

“What’s your favorite hobby?”

“Magnets.”

“Like what, making magnets, collecting magnets, playing with magnets?”

“Just magnets.”

#IASIP #ItsAlwaysSunny

"Hello fellow American. This you should vote me. I leave power. Good. Thank you, thank you. If you vote me, I'm hot. What? Taxes, they'll be lower... son. The Democratic vote for me is right thing to do Philadelphia, so do." #IASIP #ItsAlwaysSunny #Philadelphia

I'm gonna rise up, gonna kick a little ass gonna kick some ass in the USA, gonna climb a mountain, gonna sew a flag, gonna fly on an Eagle, Gonna kick some butt I'm gonna drive a big truck, I'm gonna rule this world, Gonna kick some ass, Gonna rise up, Kick a little ass, ROCK, FLAG AND EAGLE! #IASIP

VIET-GODDAMN-NAM’S WHAT HAPPENED! #IASIP #ItsAlwaysSunny

I SUMMON THE VERY FACT THAT I AM A MAN #IASIP #ItsAlwaysSunny

Pepper Jack’s pull out game is strong! #itsalwayssunny #iasip

How much cheese is too much cheese? #IASIP #ItsAlwaysSunny