Cucumber Salad (they/xe/he/she)
@thecucumbersalad.bsky.social
Artist. Musician. Writer. Tech nerd. Polyglot. Neurodivergent. Agender. Aroace. Poly. Grew up with nothing and still here. In love with dill dressing.
I can hyperfocus for 12 hours straight on something I love … but don’t ask me to send one (1) email.
November 8, 2025 at 12:17 PM
I can hyperfocus for 12 hours straight on something I love … but don’t ask me to send one (1) email.
I’ve never really understood the concept of gender. Not in a dismissive way—just genuinely, my brain can’t make sense of why society insists on dividing people into categories like that.
November 7, 2025 at 6:33 PM
I’ve never really understood the concept of gender. Not in a dismissive way—just genuinely, my brain can’t make sense of why society insists on dividing people into categories like that.
Music is the one language that never misunderstands me.
It says what I can’t explain, listens without judging, and somehow turns chaos into something beautiful.
It says what I can’t explain, listens without judging, and somehow turns chaos into something beautiful.
November 6, 2025 at 8:38 PM
Music is the one language that never misunderstands me.
It says what I can’t explain, listens without judging, and somehow turns chaos into something beautiful.
It says what I can’t explain, listens without judging, and somehow turns chaos into something beautiful.
I’ve always said I’m agender, but “cassgender” might actually fit better—not just feeling detached from gender, but finding the whole concept kind of irrelevant. I don’t reject it, it just doesn’t seem to concern me.
November 5, 2025 at 7:10 PM
I’ve always said I’m agender, but “cassgender” might actually fit better—not just feeling detached from gender, but finding the whole concept kind of irrelevant. I don’t reject it, it just doesn’t seem to concern me.
Lecture at 8am.
Crowded tram, no seat, fluorescent lights.
By the time I reached class, I’d already used up 80% of my energy bar. No save point in sight.
Crowded tram, no seat, fluorescent lights.
By the time I reached class, I’d already used up 80% of my energy bar. No save point in sight.
November 4, 2025 at 7:24 PM
Lecture at 8am.
Crowded tram, no seat, fluorescent lights.
By the time I reached class, I’d already used up 80% of my energy bar. No save point in sight.
Crowded tram, no seat, fluorescent lights.
By the time I reached class, I’d already used up 80% of my energy bar. No save point in sight.
When I play piano, it feels like the world finally makes sense for a moment.
Every sound has its place, every pattern a reason.
My hands speak fluently when my mouth can’t—and the noise inside turns quiet.
Every sound has its place, every pattern a reason.
My hands speak fluently when my mouth can’t—and the noise inside turns quiet.
November 3, 2025 at 6:20 PM
When I play piano, it feels like the world finally makes sense for a moment.
Every sound has its place, every pattern a reason.
My hands speak fluently when my mouth can’t—and the noise inside turns quiet.
Every sound has its place, every pattern a reason.
My hands speak fluently when my mouth can’t—and the noise inside turns quiet.
Every time someone says “things were better in the old days,” I think: You’re comparing today to the survivors of the past, not the average. That’s survivorship bias.
November 2, 2025 at 3:35 PM
Every time someone says “things were better in the old days,” I think: You’re comparing today to the survivors of the past, not the average. That’s survivorship bias.
I sometimes worry when I see people treat AI like a close friend.
Not because AI is “evil,” but because a good friend doesn’t just agree with you—they sometimes challenge you, too.
Not because AI is “evil,” but because a good friend doesn’t just agree with you—they sometimes challenge you, too.
November 1, 2025 at 5:14 PM
I sometimes worry when I see people treat AI like a close friend.
Not because AI is “evil,” but because a good friend doesn’t just agree with you—they sometimes challenge you, too.
Not because AI is “evil,” but because a good friend doesn’t just agree with you—they sometimes challenge you, too.
People often say, “we’re weaker than older generations because we avoid discomfort.”
But I don’t think that’s true. People back then didn’t handle everything better—they just hid their pain better.
But I don’t think that’s true. People back then didn’t handle everything better—they just hid their pain better.
October 31, 2025 at 7:11 PM
People often say, “we’re weaker than older generations because we avoid discomfort.”
But I don’t think that’s true. People back then didn’t handle everything better—they just hid their pain better.
But I don’t think that’s true. People back then didn’t handle everything better—they just hid their pain better.
Chronic sinusitis: living with a permanent software bug called “nose.exe has stopped responding.”
October 30, 2025 at 6:45 PM
Chronic sinusitis: living with a permanent software bug called “nose.exe has stopped responding.”
People think autistic inertia = trouble starting. True. But it’s also trouble stopping. I can stare at a blank page all day, then suddenly write for 8 hours straight without realizing I skipped food and sleep.
October 29, 2025 at 4:25 AM
People think autistic inertia = trouble starting. True. But it’s also trouble stopping. I can stare at a blank page all day, then suddenly write for 8 hours straight without realizing I skipped food and sleep.
Promised myself I’d rest.
Then remembered: assignment due at midnight.
So I rested … inside a panic.
Then remembered: assignment due at midnight.
So I rested … inside a panic.
October 28, 2025 at 5:39 PM
Promised myself I’d rest.
Then remembered: assignment due at midnight.
So I rested … inside a panic.
Then remembered: assignment due at midnight.
So I rested … inside a panic.
Being a cashier taught me patience.
Being a pianist taught me discipline.
Being a student taught me persistence.
Being a gamedev taught me that “just one more feature” is the biggest lie I tell myself.
Being a pianist taught me discipline.
Being a student taught me persistence.
Being a gamedev taught me that “just one more feature” is the biggest lie I tell myself.
October 27, 2025 at 7:52 PM
Being a cashier taught me patience.
Being a pianist taught me discipline.
Being a student taught me persistence.
Being a gamedev taught me that “just one more feature” is the biggest lie I tell myself.
Being a pianist taught me discipline.
Being a student taught me persistence.
Being a gamedev taught me that “just one more feature” is the biggest lie I tell myself.
Pet peeve: when people say folks in the Middle Ages were “dumber.”
No, you’re not smarter just because you were born later. You just inherited a different set of facts. You didn’t discover gravity. You just believe it because someone told you.
No, you’re not smarter just because you were born later. You just inherited a different set of facts. You didn’t discover gravity. You just believe it because someone told you.
October 26, 2025 at 4:59 AM
Pet peeve: when people say folks in the Middle Ages were “dumber.”
No, you’re not smarter just because you were born later. You just inherited a different set of facts. You didn’t discover gravity. You just believe it because someone told you.
No, you’re not smarter just because you were born later. You just inherited a different set of facts. You didn’t discover gravity. You just believe it because someone told you.
With #synaesthesia, music isn’t just sound—it’s colors, textures, and shapes in my head. A piano chord can taste like lemon pie. Makes concerts very weird.
October 25, 2025 at 2:46 PM
With #synaesthesia, music isn’t just sound—it’s colors, textures, and shapes in my head. A piano chord can taste like lemon pie. Makes concerts very weird.
I’ve been a cashier, a student, a pianist, a gamedev. All of them require rhythm. Some with music, some with customers, some with deadlines, some with code. Miss the beat and you feel it instantly.
October 24, 2025 at 4:23 AM
I’ve been a cashier, a student, a pianist, a gamedev. All of them require rhythm. Some with music, some with customers, some with deadlines, some with code. Miss the beat and you feel it instantly.
Autistic inertia feels like being glued in place: decisions stack, tasks pile, and starting one feels like moving a mountain. Once I finally start, I can climb the whole range—but getting to step one takes everything.
October 22, 2025 at 7:37 PM
Autistic inertia feels like being glued in place: decisions stack, tasks pile, and starting one feels like moving a mountain. Once I finally start, I can climb the whole range—but getting to step one takes everything.
The sound of turning pages in sheet music is basically a drum fill for pianists.
October 21, 2025 at 11:18 AM
The sound of turning pages in sheet music is basically a drum fill for pianists.
Morning: dentist appointment.
Afternoon: group project meeting.
Evening: work shift.
Result: brain noise like a badly tuned radio. Sensory overload in HD.
Afternoon: group project meeting.
Evening: work shift.
Result: brain noise like a badly tuned radio. Sensory overload in HD.
October 20, 2025 at 8:16 PM
Morning: dentist appointment.
Afternoon: group project meeting.
Evening: work shift.
Result: brain noise like a badly tuned radio. Sensory overload in HD.
Afternoon: group project meeting.
Evening: work shift.
Result: brain noise like a badly tuned radio. Sensory overload in HD.
The sensory overload from autism + ADHD is bad enough, but then synaesthesia is like “here’s what that sound looks like” and depression is like “I can’t deal with any of this today”.
October 19, 2025 at 8:43 PM
The sensory overload from autism + ADHD is bad enough, but then synaesthesia is like “here’s what that sound looks like” and depression is like “I can’t deal with any of this today”.
Cash register shift. Customers, small talk, scanner beeps.
By the end: wheezing, itchy skin, zero words left. Came home and crashed on the floor before I even made it to bed.
By the end: wheezing, itchy skin, zero words left. Came home and crashed on the floor before I even made it to bed.
October 17, 2025 at 9:58 PM
Cash register shift. Customers, small talk, scanner beeps.
By the end: wheezing, itchy skin, zero words left. Came home and crashed on the floor before I even made it to bed.
By the end: wheezing, itchy skin, zero words left. Came home and crashed on the floor before I even made it to bed.
I’ve forgotten what “clear head” feels like. My default setting is “internal pressure cooker.” #sinusitis
October 16, 2025 at 4:44 PM
I’ve forgotten what “clear head” feels like. My default setting is “internal pressure cooker.” #sinusitis
It’s strange how the same inertia that keeps me from beginning something can also glue me to it once I finally start. Stuck on pause, stuck on play—switching is the hardest part.
October 15, 2025 at 1:49 PM
It’s strange how the same inertia that keeps me from beginning something can also glue me to it once I finally start. Stuck on pause, stuck on play—switching is the hardest part.
People see me sitting still and assume nothing is happening. Truth is, there’s a whole storm of intent behind my eyes. Autistic inertia means I can want something deeply, and still not move toward it for hours.
October 9, 2025 at 12:27 PM
People see me sitting still and assume nothing is happening. Truth is, there’s a whole storm of intent behind my eyes. Autistic inertia means I can want something deeply, and still not move toward it for hours.