Blake Rodgers
@theblakerodgers.bsky.social
I have a World Record for High Fives. Former curmudgeon writing for Nerdist, Dorkly, College Humor & Cracked. Current curmudgeon for BATL Axe Throwing in Chicago.
Oof. What a game, you guys. We messed up real bad. Really screwed the pooch out there.
Wait, what?
Totally botched it. Wanted a win but had sex with a dog.
WTF, dude?!
I'm just sayin. We tried. But mistakes were made.
Yeah, but you fu...
Right. Fucked a dog. Mistakes, amiright? Anywho...
Wait, what?
Totally botched it. Wanted a win but had sex with a dog.
WTF, dude?!
I'm just sayin. We tried. But mistakes were made.
Yeah, but you fu...
Right. Fucked a dog. Mistakes, amiright? Anywho...
May 22, 2025 at 4:41 PM
Oof. What a game, you guys. We messed up real bad. Really screwed the pooch out there.
Wait, what?
Totally botched it. Wanted a win but had sex with a dog.
WTF, dude?!
I'm just sayin. We tried. But mistakes were made.
Yeah, but you fu...
Right. Fucked a dog. Mistakes, amiright? Anywho...
Wait, what?
Totally botched it. Wanted a win but had sex with a dog.
WTF, dude?!
I'm just sayin. We tried. But mistakes were made.
Yeah, but you fu...
Right. Fucked a dog. Mistakes, amiright? Anywho...
I hope dispensaries run "He is Resin" promotions since Easter falls on 4/20 this year
March 26, 2025 at 8:04 PM
I hope dispensaries run "He is Resin" promotions since Easter falls on 4/20 this year
Things like this don't help anyone. Trends this stupid only serve to make the person doing it feel like they helped or did something. It helps them feel like they're the main character and nothing else. Utterly fucking dogshit
March 2, 2025 at 9:25 PM
Things like this don't help anyone. Trends this stupid only serve to make the person doing it feel like they helped or did something. It helps them feel like they're the main character and nothing else. Utterly fucking dogshit
Reposted by Blake Rodgers
*nodding my head in agreement*
February 5, 2025 at 12:05 AM
*nodding my head in agreement*
I wish they made Diet Coke PM
December 29, 2024 at 3:14 AM
I wish they made Diet Coke PM
A guy in his mid twenties with a deep obsession leaves his girlfriend, family and full time job behind to ostensibly be a vagrant around teenagers at a junior college while breaking the rules and sneaking into the activities of another college and squatting on school grounds.
This is the movie Rudy
This is the movie Rudy
December 22, 2024 at 3:37 PM
A guy in his mid twenties with a deep obsession leaves his girlfriend, family and full time job behind to ostensibly be a vagrant around teenagers at a junior college while breaking the rules and sneaking into the activities of another college and squatting on school grounds.
This is the movie Rudy
This is the movie Rudy
Ok, ok. Hear me out. Muppet Social Media Movie Post. That same overused post where someone re-uses the idea to take a regular movie and casts it all as muppets except one actor. Except, this time, the person who's posting is a muppet everything else is the same.
December 3, 2024 at 3:04 PM
Ok, ok. Hear me out. Muppet Social Media Movie Post. That same overused post where someone re-uses the idea to take a regular movie and casts it all as muppets except one actor. Except, this time, the person who's posting is a muppet everything else is the same.
It's not a perfect 1:1 comparison but Brett Goldstein and Bill Lawrence are good at certain characters. That's why Shrinking is basically also Ted Lasso
Main character dealing with the loss of a spouse in some way or another. Endearing to almost everyone and keeps positive attitude as a mask?
Main character dealing with the loss of a spouse in some way or another. Endearing to almost everyone and keeps positive attitude as a mask?
November 17, 2024 at 7:09 PM
It's not a perfect 1:1 comparison but Brett Goldstein and Bill Lawrence are good at certain characters. That's why Shrinking is basically also Ted Lasso
Main character dealing with the loss of a spouse in some way or another. Endearing to almost everyone and keeps positive attitude as a mask?
Main character dealing with the loss of a spouse in some way or another. Endearing to almost everyone and keeps positive attitude as a mask?
One of the more annoying things about job hunting is companies saying things like "We challenge conventions & create once in a lifetime experiences through grassroots processes that go above & beyond to foster a better tomorrow" and then it's just a company that makes to-go containers
March 20, 2024 at 2:00 AM
One of the more annoying things about job hunting is companies saying things like "We challenge conventions & create once in a lifetime experiences through grassroots processes that go above & beyond to foster a better tomorrow" and then it's just a company that makes to-go containers
All public bathroom doors should be pull to enter, push to exit.
I will not be taking any questions. Thank you.
I will not be taking any questions. Thank you.
March 14, 2024 at 4:35 AM
All public bathroom doors should be pull to enter, push to exit.
I will not be taking any questions. Thank you.
I will not be taking any questions. Thank you.
Alright, Food instagram accounts. We're good. You can stop wringing out sandwiches when you cut them in half.
February 11, 2024 at 1:59 PM
Alright, Food instagram accounts. We're good. You can stop wringing out sandwiches when you cut them in half.
No one has benefited more from the legalization of weed than the makers of small kinda nice paper bags with handles
February 5, 2024 at 11:09 PM
No one has benefited more from the legalization of weed than the makers of small kinda nice paper bags with handles
🎶 "Paul F Tompkins Santaria, I got podcasts for you all" 🎶
January 29, 2024 at 12:45 AM
🎶 "Paul F Tompkins Santaria, I got podcasts for you all" 🎶
Ok. This is blasphemy but...
A remake of 'Death Becomes Her' With Jennifer Lawrence, Emma Stone, Adam Driver and Charlize Theron in the Isabella Rossellini role.
Or, gender swapped.
Chris Pine, Ryan Gosling, Sandra Bullock and Chris Hemsworth in the Isabella Rossellini role
A remake of 'Death Becomes Her' With Jennifer Lawrence, Emma Stone, Adam Driver and Charlize Theron in the Isabella Rossellini role.
Or, gender swapped.
Chris Pine, Ryan Gosling, Sandra Bullock and Chris Hemsworth in the Isabella Rossellini role
October 18, 2023 at 11:38 PM
Ok. This is blasphemy but...
A remake of 'Death Becomes Her' With Jennifer Lawrence, Emma Stone, Adam Driver and Charlize Theron in the Isabella Rossellini role.
Or, gender swapped.
Chris Pine, Ryan Gosling, Sandra Bullock and Chris Hemsworth in the Isabella Rossellini role
A remake of 'Death Becomes Her' With Jennifer Lawrence, Emma Stone, Adam Driver and Charlize Theron in the Isabella Rossellini role.
Or, gender swapped.
Chris Pine, Ryan Gosling, Sandra Bullock and Chris Hemsworth in the Isabella Rossellini role
I set a world record 15 years ago.
Then wrote about it a couple years ago.
High five someone today!
cracked.com/article_30503_…
Then wrote about it a couple years ago.
High five someone today!
cracked.com/article_30503_…
September 6, 2023 at 7:12 PM
I set a world record 15 years ago.
Then wrote about it a couple years ago.
High five someone today!
cracked.com/article_30503_…
Then wrote about it a couple years ago.
High five someone today!
cracked.com/article_30503_…
Sometimes I think about being a weird person or not the person I thought I'd end up as. Not in a bad way but just generally thinking about where my life is and who I am.
And then, I get an unexpected pickle spear with my lunch and yell, out loud, to myself...
"HEYYO! Pickle Town. Population: Me"
And then, I get an unexpected pickle spear with my lunch and yell, out loud, to myself...
"HEYYO! Pickle Town. Population: Me"
August 29, 2023 at 9:13 PM
Sometimes I think about being a weird person or not the person I thought I'd end up as. Not in a bad way but just generally thinking about where my life is and who I am.
And then, I get an unexpected pickle spear with my lunch and yell, out loud, to myself...
"HEYYO! Pickle Town. Population: Me"
And then, I get an unexpected pickle spear with my lunch and yell, out loud, to myself...
"HEYYO! Pickle Town. Population: Me"
Terminator movies have Arnold time travel naked and then get clothes from people who are surprised but not freaked out.
But no one is terrified meaning they just see a naked guy so Terminators are given penises. Seems like a lot of trouble for "won't completely panic people in the past"
But no one is terrified meaning they just see a naked guy so Terminators are given penises. Seems like a lot of trouble for "won't completely panic people in the past"
August 21, 2023 at 10:34 PM
Terminator movies have Arnold time travel naked and then get clothes from people who are surprised but not freaked out.
But no one is terrified meaning they just see a naked guy so Terminators are given penises. Seems like a lot of trouble for "won't completely panic people in the past"
But no one is terrified meaning they just see a naked guy so Terminators are given penises. Seems like a lot of trouble for "won't completely panic people in the past"
The untalented dingdongs that do those side by side "reaction videos" where they give a 4 out of 10 to a life hack video as if we should care about their personal rankings should all get the Jon Hamm "blocking" function from Black Mirror.
Like, first offense and you get it.
For life.
Like, first offense and you get it.
For life.
August 21, 2023 at 6:44 PM
The untalented dingdongs that do those side by side "reaction videos" where they give a 4 out of 10 to a life hack video as if we should care about their personal rankings should all get the Jon Hamm "blocking" function from Black Mirror.
Like, first offense and you get it.
For life.
Like, first offense and you get it.
For life.
Can i just like... copy and paste old tweets here? It's like a second chance to try and be an actual good follow
August 15, 2023 at 9:06 PM
Can i just like... copy and paste old tweets here? It's like a second chance to try and be an actual good follow