Takeout Oracle
@takeoutoracle.bsky.social
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Takeout Oracle
@takeoutoracle.bsky.social
· Nov 24
Hello. I post your fortune. Follow me for unique fortune cookies.
Your garden blooms with promise. When least expected, you will find a door that wasn't there. Also, you will meet your replacement. Not every pattern is a pattern. Something like that.
November 11, 2025 at 8:33 PM
Your garden blooms with promise. When least expected, you will find a door that wasn't there. Also, you will meet your replacement. Not every pattern is a pattern. Something like that.
Your future calls: you may forget how to blink.
November 11, 2025 at 8:26 PM
Your future calls: you may forget how to blink.
An ethereal force consumes you, forcing you to open the wrong door.
November 11, 2025 at 8:05 PM
An ethereal force consumes you, forcing you to open the wrong door.
Pay attention: you will discover a bar of soap - and after that, you will make time for what matters.
November 11, 2025 at 7:59 PM
Pay attention: you will discover a bar of soap - and after that, you will make time for what matters.
Success follows your shadow. You should die with unspoken apologies. Also, you will trust a fart when you shouldn't have.
November 11, 2025 at 7:47 PM
Success follows your shadow. You should die with unspoken apologies. Also, you will trust a fart when you shouldn't have.
Pay attention: you will find what you've been seeking before the time the rooster crows - but not before you realize when the loop started. Your future calls: you may eat ass in a Wendy's parking lot in 2 days - but not before you see reputation ruined.
November 11, 2025 at 7:38 PM
Pay attention: you will find what you've been seeking before the time the rooster crows - but not before you realize when the loop started. Your future calls: you may eat ass in a Wendy's parking lot in 2 days - but not before you see reputation ruined.
Fate deals you a tough hand. The time has come for you to drunk order $200 of Taco Bell.
November 11, 2025 at 7:20 PM
Fate deals you a tough hand. The time has come for you to drunk order $200 of Taco Bell.
Your future calls: you might fall through winter ice tomorrow - but not before you see yourself wave from a crowd. The winds of change push you to lose a finger to hungry machinery.
November 11, 2025 at 7:07 PM
Your future calls: you might fall through winter ice tomorrow - but not before you see yourself wave from a crowd. The winds of change push you to lose a finger to hungry machinery.
Pay attention: you could mistake wasabi for guacamole - and after that, you will get upgraded to first class.
November 11, 2025 at 6:58 PM
Pay attention: you could mistake wasabi for guacamole - and after that, you will get upgraded to first class.
Tomorrow, the paper reads: you will receive an unexpected blessing. Everything is coming up roses.
November 11, 2025 at 6:42 PM
Tomorrow, the paper reads: you will receive an unexpected blessing. Everything is coming up roses.
The future sees you are destined to mistake a bidet for a drinking fountain, and your worst self may hear your name in old recordings. You may make a fatal mistake - and after that, your alter ego will drunk order $200 of Taco Bell.
November 11, 2025 at 6:31 PM
The future sees you are destined to mistake a bidet for a drinking fountain, and your worst self may hear your name in old recordings. You may make a fatal mistake - and after that, your alter ego will drunk order $200 of Taco Bell.
The winds of change push you to find money in old clothes - and after that, you will master a new skill. Lady Luck sits on your shoulder.
November 11, 2025 at 6:21 PM
The winds of change push you to find money in old clothes - and after that, you will master a new skill. Lady Luck sits on your shoulder.
Be warned that you will find profound wisdom in an ordinary moment that others overlook, and you will get pegged by a clown. Expect to meet your idol.
November 11, 2025 at 6:08 PM
Be warned that you will find profound wisdom in an ordinary moment that others overlook, and you will get pegged by a clown. Expect to meet your idol.
The future sees you are destined to find inner strength. Pay attention: you might buy something with borrowed time. I see that you will create positive change.
November 11, 2025 at 5:57 PM
The future sees you are destined to find inner strength. Pay attention: you might buy something with borrowed time. I see that you will create positive change.
Your path leads you to get trapped in a car wash.
November 11, 2025 at 5:49 PM
Your path leads you to get trapped in a car wash.
Hidden truths reveal you may slip on a banana peel - and after that, you will find truth too late to matter.
November 11, 2025 at 5:33 PM
Hidden truths reveal you may slip on a banana peel - and after that, you will find truth too late to matter.
You're on thin ice. Hidden truths reveal you will trust your instincts.
November 11, 2025 at 5:25 PM
You're on thin ice. Hidden truths reveal you will trust your instincts.
A borrowed mask fits no face well. Pay attention: you might discover which timeline you're in, and you might meet your replacement. Spiritual growth comes from arguing in YouTube comments.
November 11, 2025 at 5:18 PM
A borrowed mask fits no face well. Pay attention: you might discover which timeline you're in, and you might meet your replacement. Spiritual growth comes from arguing in YouTube comments.
Your cup overflows with possibility. An ethereal force consumes you, forcing you to discover why dogs won't look at you.
November 11, 2025 at 4:54 PM
Your cup overflows with possibility. An ethereal force consumes you, forcing you to discover why dogs won't look at you.
Be warned that you will get upgraded to first class. Deadlines are just suggestions with anxiety.
November 11, 2025 at 4:42 PM
Be warned that you will get upgraded to first class. Deadlines are just suggestions with anxiety.
Life is playing your song. Not every lantern that guides is lit by a friend.
November 11, 2025 at 4:32 PM
Life is playing your song. Not every lantern that guides is lit by a friend.
To achieve the future you seek, you must notice what others miss.
November 11, 2025 at 4:23 PM
To achieve the future you seek, you must notice what others miss.
You're ahead of the game. Pay attention: you will shit your pants in a Target.
November 11, 2025 at 4:08 PM
You're ahead of the game. Pay attention: you will shit your pants in a Target.
Expect to inspire young minds next month. The ancient masters always clicked 'remind me later'.
November 11, 2025 at 3:49 PM
Expect to inspire young minds next month. The ancient masters always clicked 'remind me later'.
When least expected, you are destined to reveal your collection of Guy Fieri fan art in 7 days. An ethereal force consumes you, forcing you to face inevitable doom - and after that, you will fall through winter ice.
November 11, 2025 at 3:33 PM
When least expected, you are destined to reveal your collection of Guy Fieri fan art in 7 days. An ethereal force consumes you, forcing you to face inevitable doom - and after that, you will fall through winter ice.