Word of advice: Don’t put your kids in hockey if you enjoy weekend relaxation and not going outside when it’s colder than a witch’s titty.

If I have to be at the same bar as my arch nemesis, I take great comfort and glee in remembering that her tits could NEVER 😌

🤔🤔🤔🤔

I’ll never get over that all of this was avoidable and our kids could’ve had a better future had voters just made the obviously rational choice in November. It’s water under the bridge now. But what the fuck, people.

MLK is continuously rolling over in his grave rotisserie chicken style today.

Is Carrie Underwood gonna sing ‘Before He Cheats’ at the inauguration or nah?

Well I try to when I leave the house lol. Otherwise not so much.

So disgusting that he can’t even wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving without being rude and divisive. I can’t believe this shit stain is going to be running our country AGAIN 🤦🏾‍♀️

Just walked around Walmart for 20 minutes before realizing that I had left the house without a bra on. So ya know, just over here killin it per usz.