Vanyel
@subservientashes.bsky.social
was vent user subservientashes 2017-2024
nonbinary, transmasc
inter-dimensional god
they/them, 22 y/o, autism + adhd victim
◇
Kins:
• Vanyel Ashkevron (past life, selfhood)
• Reaver Merrick-Dekker (past life, selfhood)
• Saeran Choi (past life)
nonbinary, transmasc
inter-dimensional god
they/them, 22 y/o, autism + adhd victim
◇
Kins:
• Vanyel Ashkevron (past life, selfhood)
• Reaver Merrick-Dekker (past life, selfhood)
• Saeran Choi (past life)
Pinned
Vanyel
@subservientashes.bsky.social
· Nov 6
MY CXMMISSION IS DONE MY CXMMISSION IS DONE YESSS YESS YIPPEEE
this is my character Lyricide!!!
I'M IN LOVE WITH IT , THE VIBE IS PERFECT . THANK YOU @entzuendung.bsky.social
please check out their art it's gorgeous and freaky and ethereal and !!!!! so fucking cool!!!!
this is my character Lyricide!!!
I'M IN LOVE WITH IT , THE VIBE IS PERFECT . THANK YOU @entzuendung.bsky.social
please check out their art it's gorgeous and freaky and ethereal and !!!!! so fucking cool!!!!
goofy ahh roblox screens i took
December 29, 2025 at 12:12 PM
goofy ahh roblox screens i took
literally I'm hungry and nauseous at the same time THIS IS STUPID
December 28, 2025 at 4:03 PM
literally I'm hungry and nauseous at the same time THIS IS STUPID
okay I made it 4 days without effexor but I'm so nauseous and having full body sweats and brain zaps and depression and irritation i can't do it man I really don't think I can 😭🙏🙏 this is so awful for no reason
December 28, 2025 at 3:53 PM
okay I made it 4 days without effexor but I'm so nauseous and having full body sweats and brain zaps and depression and irritation i can't do it man I really don't think I can 😭🙏🙏 this is so awful for no reason
my alt clothing arrived today AAAAA everything looks and fits so good I'm so happy ,,, so gender,,,, !!!!
December 26, 2025 at 8:37 PM
my alt clothing arrived today AAAAA everything looks and fits so good I'm so happy ,,, so gender,,,, !!!!
facial hair is really starting to come in 👀
this is like 4 days without shaving haha
also STARTING to get sideburn hair ugghhh❤️❤️💞💞❤️🔥🔥🔥 I love sideburns ahahah
this is like 4 days without shaving haha
also STARTING to get sideburn hair ugghhh❤️❤️💞💞❤️🔥🔥🔥 I love sideburns ahahah
December 25, 2025 at 8:25 PM
facial hair is really starting to come in 👀
this is like 4 days without shaving haha
also STARTING to get sideburn hair ugghhh❤️❤️💞💞❤️🔥🔥🔥 I love sideburns ahahah
this is like 4 days without shaving haha
also STARTING to get sideburn hair ugghhh❤️❤️💞💞❤️🔥🔥🔥 I love sideburns ahahah
finished the book.
these quotes killed me. gave me chills and had to try not to cry reading this at work 😔✌️✌️
ouch.
these quotes killed me. gave me chills and had to try not to cry reading this at work 😔✌️✌️
ouch.
December 23, 2025 at 8:28 AM
finished the book.
these quotes killed me. gave me chills and had to try not to cry reading this at work 😔✌️✌️
ouch.
these quotes killed me. gave me chills and had to try not to cry reading this at work 😔✌️✌️
ouch.
"The world was not made for ones like you."
"When the swarm said that to Sophie for the first time, she’d sobbed. They were right. She was miserable and trapped. She wasn’t a boy until the worms finally told her it was okay, because she couldn’t do it herself."
"When the swarm said that to Sophie for the first time, she’d sobbed. They were right. She was miserable and trapped. She wasn’t a boy until the worms finally told her it was okay, because she couldn’t do it herself."
December 22, 2025 at 6:19 AM
"The world was not made for ones like you."
"When the swarm said that to Sophie for the first time, she’d sobbed. They were right. She was miserable and trapped. She wasn’t a boy until the worms finally told her it was okay, because she couldn’t do it herself."
"When the swarm said that to Sophie for the first time, she’d sobbed. They were right. She was miserable and trapped. She wasn’t a boy until the worms finally told her it was okay, because she couldn’t do it herself."
some pics of my fit for the christmas work party today 😎🔥 had to make sure I was the gayest one there
ugh I wish I looked more masc though. blehhh
ugh I wish I looked more masc though. blehhh
December 21, 2025 at 6:09 AM
some pics of my fit for the christmas work party today 😎🔥 had to make sure I was the gayest one there
ugh I wish I looked more masc though. blehhh
ugh I wish I looked more masc though. blehhh
this page brought up some memories
sh tw in the replies
sh tw in the replies
December 19, 2025 at 11:47 AM
this page brought up some memories
sh tw in the replies
sh tw in the replies
I used to barely be able to get this binder on, now I don't think its tight enough to even do any binding lmao
that's insane,, hell yeah
now if only my chest would become flat 😔🙏 its shrunk for sure but ,,, mhhh,,,,
that's insane,, hell yeah
now if only my chest would become flat 😔🙏 its shrunk for sure but ,,, mhhh,,,,
December 19, 2025 at 6:13 AM
I used to barely be able to get this binder on, now I don't think its tight enough to even do any binding lmao
that's insane,, hell yeah
now if only my chest would become flat 😔🙏 its shrunk for sure but ,,, mhhh,,,,
that's insane,, hell yeah
now if only my chest would become flat 😔🙏 its shrunk for sure but ,,, mhhh,,,,
I relate to this character so much it makes me nauseous
I mean obviously I've deeply related to a character but . this is current life me . I never see this. this is how my thoughts work ,, and , just everything,,, ive never seen someone like me
I mean obviously I've deeply related to a character but . this is current life me . I never see this. this is how my thoughts work ,, and , just everything,,, ive never seen someone like me
December 17, 2025 at 11:51 AM
I relate to this character so much it makes me nauseous
I mean obviously I've deeply related to a character but . this is current life me . I never see this. this is how my thoughts work ,, and , just everything,,, ive never seen someone like me
I mean obviously I've deeply related to a character but . this is current life me . I never see this. this is how my thoughts work ,, and , just everything,,, ive never seen someone like me
I hate this stupid female body I wish I could rip it off
December 16, 2025 at 7:39 PM
I hate this stupid female body I wish I could rip it off
really I think i just need some sleep
I haven't been sleeping well at all
I haven't been sleeping well at all
December 16, 2025 at 6:19 AM
really I think i just need some sleep
I haven't been sleeping well at all
I haven't been sleeping well at all
my head is a knot
maybe reducing medication was not such a good idea
but now I remember
ive overstayed my welcome
and they are calling me home
so sweetly
so sweetly
it's been so long
and this world
was not made
for people like me
maybe reducing medication was not such a good idea
but now I remember
ive overstayed my welcome
and they are calling me home
so sweetly
so sweetly
it's been so long
and this world
was not made
for people like me
December 16, 2025 at 6:18 AM
my head is a knot
maybe reducing medication was not such a good idea
but now I remember
ive overstayed my welcome
and they are calling me home
so sweetly
so sweetly
it's been so long
and this world
was not made
for people like me
maybe reducing medication was not such a good idea
but now I remember
ive overstayed my welcome
and they are calling me home
so sweetly
so sweetly
it's been so long
and this world
was not made
for people like me
thank you youtube
December 15, 2025 at 11:49 AM
thank you youtube
gods give me the strength not to spend all of my money on alt clothing bc I just discovered vampirefreaks and I am drooling .... but I literally have nowhere to wear cool clothes to so I SHOULDN'T BUY ANY BUT ... HNNNNNNN
December 14, 2025 at 8:46 AM
gods give me the strength not to spend all of my money on alt clothing bc I just discovered vampirefreaks and I am drooling .... but I literally have nowhere to wear cool clothes to so I SHOULDN'T BUY ANY BUT ... HNNNNNNN
omg this color looks SO hot
supposed to be a little more purple but fuck it we ball 😎✌️
supposed to be a little more purple but fuck it we ball 😎✌️
December 14, 2025 at 7:56 AM
omg this color looks SO hot
supposed to be a little more purple but fuck it we ball 😎✌️
supposed to be a little more purple but fuck it we ball 😎✌️
the fit is so peak 😔🙏🔥 inspired by my old roblox avatar 🔥🔥🔥
(this shirt is so funny to me I'm not serious dw)
(this shirt is so funny to me I'm not serious dw)
December 12, 2025 at 5:40 PM
the fit is so peak 😔🙏🔥 inspired by my old roblox avatar 🔥🔥🔥
(this shirt is so funny to me I'm not serious dw)
(this shirt is so funny to me I'm not serious dw)
I need to get less clockable 😔😭
December 12, 2025 at 1:10 PM
I need to get less clockable 😔😭
everyone wants me to be awesome and happy and 100% all the time !!! and I am trying to do smth good and get off my meds and its obviously having an effect and I get no leeway !!!!! you don't know a fraction of the things I keep in my head, and I get no understanding !!!
December 9, 2025 at 6:14 AM
everyone wants me to be awesome and happy and 100% all the time !!! and I am trying to do smth good and get off my meds and its obviously having an effect and I get no leeway !!!!! you don't know a fraction of the things I keep in my head, and I get no understanding !!!
I am so sick and tired of being PERCEIVED !!! STOP IT
a bald man is sitting in the driver 's seat of a car making a funny face
ALT: a bald man is sitting in the driver 's seat of a car making a funny face
media.tenor.com
December 9, 2025 at 6:10 AM
I am so sick and tired of being PERCEIVED !!! STOP IT
man i do NOT feel good
but is it because:
•dehydration
•didn't hardly eat yesterday
•weaning off effexor
•took adderall late, got 4 hours of sleep, then took it early
•forgot to take buspar all weekend
•all of the above
hmmm 🤔🤔
it really is a miracle I'm functioning at all lmao 😎✌️
but is it because:
•dehydration
•didn't hardly eat yesterday
•weaning off effexor
•took adderall late, got 4 hours of sleep, then took it early
•forgot to take buspar all weekend
•all of the above
hmmm 🤔🤔
it really is a miracle I'm functioning at all lmao 😎✌️
December 8, 2025 at 6:10 AM
man i do NOT feel good
but is it because:
•dehydration
•didn't hardly eat yesterday
•weaning off effexor
•took adderall late, got 4 hours of sleep, then took it early
•forgot to take buspar all weekend
•all of the above
hmmm 🤔🤔
it really is a miracle I'm functioning at all lmao 😎✌️
but is it because:
•dehydration
•didn't hardly eat yesterday
•weaning off effexor
•took adderall late, got 4 hours of sleep, then took it early
•forgot to take buspar all weekend
•all of the above
hmmm 🤔🤔
it really is a miracle I'm functioning at all lmao 😎✌️
all we ever want is for someone to just like us for who we are
but it is an endless search
but it is an endless search
December 6, 2025 at 9:50 PM
all we ever want is for someone to just like us for who we are
but it is an endless search
but it is an endless search
I think the issue is that inherently I cannot believe someone would actually truly love me.
like you have to be lying, or exaggerating, or uninformed,
because I cannot be loved , only shown a facade of what love is ,
and it's not purposeful, I only realized this recently. it's subconscious
like you have to be lying, or exaggerating, or uninformed,
because I cannot be loved , only shown a facade of what love is ,
and it's not purposeful, I only realized this recently. it's subconscious
December 5, 2025 at 2:11 PM
I think the issue is that inherently I cannot believe someone would actually truly love me.
like you have to be lying, or exaggerating, or uninformed,
because I cannot be loved , only shown a facade of what love is ,
and it's not purposeful, I only realized this recently. it's subconscious
like you have to be lying, or exaggerating, or uninformed,
because I cannot be loved , only shown a facade of what love is ,
and it's not purposeful, I only realized this recently. it's subconscious
literally everyone online says effexor is one of the worst meds to come off of ,, nightmares and sweats and mood swings and nausea and BRAIN ZAPS those are the worst .
my psych said its an incredibly helpful med but awful to come off of, and I completely agree arrggghhh
my psych said its an incredibly helpful med but awful to come off of, and I completely agree arrggghhh
December 3, 2025 at 10:53 AM
literally everyone online says effexor is one of the worst meds to come off of ,, nightmares and sweats and mood swings and nausea and BRAIN ZAPS those are the worst .
my psych said its an incredibly helpful med but awful to come off of, and I completely agree arrggghhh
my psych said its an incredibly helpful med but awful to come off of, and I completely agree arrggghhh