Some medical guy
@stuffisaytopatient.bsky.social
Medial provider with over 15 years in both emergent and urgent settings. Contained are things I have said to patients and they have said to me. I'd like to say I got this way over the years, but I've been like this since the start
Patient comes back for treatment of STI. hates shots, so kept trying to talk me out of it
Him "what's the worst thing that will happen if I don't take the meds?"
Me "well, it can get worse, you can become sterile"
H "no, like the WORST"
M "ohh. Well it will turn green and fall off"
Him "what's the worst thing that will happen if I don't take the meds?"
Me "well, it can get worse, you can become sterile"
H "no, like the WORST"
M "ohh. Well it will turn green and fall off"
September 30, 2025 at 9:45 PM
Patient comes back for treatment of STI. hates shots, so kept trying to talk me out of it
Him "what's the worst thing that will happen if I don't take the meds?"
Me "well, it can get worse, you can become sterile"
H "no, like the WORST"
M "ohh. Well it will turn green and fall off"
Him "what's the worst thing that will happen if I don't take the meds?"
Me "well, it can get worse, you can become sterile"
H "no, like the WORST"
M "ohh. Well it will turn green and fall off"
Me "well, with your history and constellation of symptoms, we are going to screen for flu and COVID cause if either is positive you are in the window for treatment"
Them "you don't need to bother. I don't believe in COVID"
Me "well, the good news is that it believes in you!"
Them "you don't need to bother. I don't believe in COVID"
Me "well, the good news is that it believes in you!"
September 26, 2025 at 10:50 PM
Me "well, with your history and constellation of symptoms, we are going to screen for flu and COVID cause if either is positive you are in the window for treatment"
Them "you don't need to bother. I don't believe in COVID"
Me "well, the good news is that it believes in you!"
Them "you don't need to bother. I don't believe in COVID"
Me "well, the good news is that it believes in you!"
Anyone else feel unseen by RFK Jr? I grew up in an ibuprofen household and I know my mom didn't take Tylenol because she smoked through her pregnancy and had the OB bum a stick off her in the recovery room. Why am I on a couple of spectrums?
September 23, 2025 at 10:36 PM
Anyone else feel unseen by RFK Jr? I grew up in an ibuprofen household and I know my mom didn't take Tylenol because she smoked through her pregnancy and had the OB bum a stick off her in the recovery room. Why am I on a couple of spectrums?
Prepping a patient for a pretty gnarly laceration repair
Them: "is it ok if I don't watch? I don't like the sight of blood"
Me: "Me neither. But I do have to watch. Tried not to once. Didn't look very pretty when I was done"
Them: "is it ok if I don't watch? I don't like the sight of blood"
Me: "Me neither. But I do have to watch. Tried not to once. Didn't look very pretty when I was done"
September 22, 2025 at 6:06 PM
Prepping a patient for a pretty gnarly laceration repair
Them: "is it ok if I don't watch? I don't like the sight of blood"
Me: "Me neither. But I do have to watch. Tried not to once. Didn't look very pretty when I was done"
Them: "is it ok if I don't watch? I don't like the sight of blood"
Me: "Me neither. But I do have to watch. Tried not to once. Didn't look very pretty when I was done"
Putting on gloves to do an exam. I get a dirty look from the patient. "Ohh don't worry. They are for you, not me. You don't know where I've been all day....well, actually you do. All the more reason"
September 21, 2025 at 6:53 PM
Putting on gloves to do an exam. I get a dirty look from the patient. "Ohh don't worry. They are for you, not me. You don't know where I've been all day....well, actually you do. All the more reason"
Me walking up to medic gurney "well, what did you bring me today?" Guy on the cot flips back sheet to show his foot twisted very awkwardly at the ankle. Me: "well that isn't supposed to be like that." Him: "I wanted to try something new." Me to medics: "so how much you give him enrout?"
September 20, 2025 at 5:38 AM
Me walking up to medic gurney "well, what did you bring me today?" Guy on the cot flips back sheet to show his foot twisted very awkwardly at the ankle. Me: "well that isn't supposed to be like that." Him: "I wanted to try something new." Me to medics: "so how much you give him enrout?"
Explaining to the 20 year old man about having to do a rectal exam "good news, I have the smallest hands in the entire department and the promise I make is if I pass you on the street I won't make eye contact"
September 18, 2025 at 7:30 PM
Explaining to the 20 year old man about having to do a rectal exam "good news, I have the smallest hands in the entire department and the promise I make is if I pass you on the street I won't make eye contact"
"well, it looks like a duck. It quacks like a duck. So we will treat it like a UTI"
September 17, 2025 at 12:41 PM
"well, it looks like a duck. It quacks like a duck. So we will treat it like a UTI"
When all my middle aged male patient would say was "I got you dog" through my whole 20 min exam, I knew it was time to call the squad with his 150 heart rate. As they put him on the gurney and he once again said "I got you dog" I couldn't help but say "I don't know that you do..."
September 16, 2025 at 11:00 PM
When all my middle aged male patient would say was "I got you dog" through my whole 20 min exam, I knew it was time to call the squad with his 150 heart rate. As they put him on the gurney and he once again said "I got you dog" I couldn't help but say "I don't know that you do..."