a knock at the door. i set down my copy of the New York Times and greet the young man on my doorstep. he's a courier and he has brought me a treasure. i unwrap the package, then walk into the garage and carefully affix my new "We Bought It Before We Knew He Was Evil" sticker to my orphan strangler

YOU KNOW HOW MUCH OF A VILLAIN YOU HAVE TO BE FOR COMCAST TO BE THE HEROES OF THE STORY?!!