The Most Rev. Dr. Jacuzzi Toblerone
@spammyjazzhands.bsky.social
I am NOT Haley Joel Osment, rumors to the contrary are untrue. FC Porto fan.
Must have been mid-afternoon
I could tell by how far the child sized man's shadow stretched out
And he walked with a purpose in his sneakers down the street
He had many questions, like child sized men often do
He said, "Tell me all your thoughts on Todd.
Tell me is he even real?"
I could tell by how far the child sized man's shadow stretched out
And he walked with a purpose in his sneakers down the street
He had many questions, like child sized men often do
He said, "Tell me all your thoughts on Todd.
Tell me is he even real?"
November 9, 2025 at 12:16 AM
Must have been mid-afternoon
I could tell by how far the child sized man's shadow stretched out
And he walked with a purpose in his sneakers down the street
He had many questions, like child sized men often do
He said, "Tell me all your thoughts on Todd.
Tell me is he even real?"
I could tell by how far the child sized man's shadow stretched out
And he walked with a purpose in his sneakers down the street
He had many questions, like child sized men often do
He said, "Tell me all your thoughts on Todd.
Tell me is he even real?"
Before the internet intruded into everything, it was pretty nice to have to physically seek out information, but it was not all wine and roses. It wasn't like a McDonald's unless Mayor McCheese was looking at you crazy and you knew he could shank you at any moment. That was life.
November 5, 2025 at 11:14 PM
Before the internet intruded into everything, it was pretty nice to have to physically seek out information, but it was not all wine and roses. It wasn't like a McDonald's unless Mayor McCheese was looking at you crazy and you knew he could shank you at any moment. That was life.
At some point you need to ascertain that Operation Mindcrime is about the friends you made along the way and also about the Battle of the Falklands, both can be true simultaneously. I speak with authority because I am humble, and my hair is spectacular.
October 31, 2025 at 2:44 PM
At some point you need to ascertain that Operation Mindcrime is about the friends you made along the way and also about the Battle of the Falklands, both can be true simultaneously. I speak with authority because I am humble, and my hair is spectacular.
I was just struck by the realization that the album 'Psycho Circus' by KISS was an allegorical work about alien abduction. Now to search for deeper meanings in the works of Buckcherry.
October 31, 2025 at 2:41 PM
I was just struck by the realization that the album 'Psycho Circus' by KISS was an allegorical work about alien abduction. Now to search for deeper meanings in the works of Buckcherry.
So JD Vance is a "DL Homie" to use "street slang" and keep it one hunned?
October 31, 2025 at 6:01 AM
So JD Vance is a "DL Homie" to use "street slang" and keep it one hunned?
I wish I could explain the creative impulse.
September 27, 2025 at 10:28 PM
I wish I could explain the creative impulse.
*stepping up to the microphone at the National Spelling Bee* "Pete Bootyhole"
"That is incorrect, please spell the word we give you, do not sing or talk about "Newsfails" or expounding at length about interdimensional beings."
"That is incorrect, please spell the word we give you, do not sing or talk about "Newsfails" or expounding at length about interdimensional beings."
August 15, 2025 at 1:00 AM
*stepping up to the microphone at the National Spelling Bee* "Pete Bootyhole"
"That is incorrect, please spell the word we give you, do not sing or talk about "Newsfails" or expounding at length about interdimensional beings."
"That is incorrect, please spell the word we give you, do not sing or talk about "Newsfails" or expounding at length about interdimensional beings."
A story of diplomacy
August 12, 2025 at 4:50 PM
A story of diplomacy
Reading discussions about COVID response, and I remember when my dad caught it and died, because the state we were in reopened early and people did not have to mask and there was very little camaraderie or public interest in responsibility. The state did not care. I will not forget or forgive that.
August 10, 2025 at 2:49 AM
Reading discussions about COVID response, and I remember when my dad caught it and died, because the state we were in reopened early and people did not have to mask and there was very little camaraderie or public interest in responsibility. The state did not care. I will not forget or forgive that.
Most Ancient Astronaut theory can be summed up with two movies: Timecop and Maximum Overdrive. Will not be elaborating but feel free to ask questions.
August 3, 2025 at 6:09 AM
Most Ancient Astronaut theory can be summed up with two movies: Timecop and Maximum Overdrive. Will not be elaborating but feel free to ask questions.
Imagine a video game where you have to play as the Grimace and take down a corrupt police chief and mayor. The Grimace saw Officer Big Mac plant the gun on Mac Tonite's body.
August 2, 2025 at 11:09 PM
Imagine a video game where you have to play as the Grimace and take down a corrupt police chief and mayor. The Grimace saw Officer Big Mac plant the gun on Mac Tonite's body.
I have no answers. I thought it was a good idea at the time.
Alt text provides important context
Alt text provides important context
August 2, 2025 at 8:47 PM
I have no answers. I thought it was a good idea at the time.
Alt text provides important context
Alt text provides important context
Currently taking umbrage!!!!
July 23, 2025 at 1:54 AM
Currently taking umbrage!!!!
Sprite? No. Better put the zero after it playboy, no cap. I keep it one hunned, straight cash. That's that on that!
In truth, I don't know what some of that means.
In truth, I don't know what some of that means.
July 21, 2025 at 10:36 AM
Sprite? No. Better put the zero after it playboy, no cap. I keep it one hunned, straight cash. That's that on that!
In truth, I don't know what some of that means.
In truth, I don't know what some of that means.
[Vegas Magic Show]
"And for my next trick, I am going to fall off a ladder."
"And for my next trick, I am going to fall off a ladder."
July 21, 2025 at 10:34 AM
[Vegas Magic Show]
"And for my next trick, I am going to fall off a ladder."
"And for my next trick, I am going to fall off a ladder."
I was lost in the supermarket earlier. Scary. The only thing guaranteed there is; if you stay longer than 30 minutes, you will hear Natalie Merchant. I can not explain it, the mystery deepens each time I am in there.
No guaranteed personality for me.
No guaranteed personality for me.
June 19, 2025 at 4:19 AM
I was lost in the supermarket earlier. Scary. The only thing guaranteed there is; if you stay longer than 30 minutes, you will hear Natalie Merchant. I can not explain it, the mystery deepens each time I am in there.
No guaranteed personality for me.
No guaranteed personality for me.
Shameless Crosspost!
How history classes will be taught in 2035:
Teacher: Scholars say modern history began in 2005, when a band known as Buckcherry recorded an anthem for the ages, known as "Crazy Bitch"
Student: I'm certain that is incorrect.
Teacher: You are suspended, rude, and sus af bruh
How history classes will be taught in 2035:
Teacher: Scholars say modern history began in 2005, when a band known as Buckcherry recorded an anthem for the ages, known as "Crazy Bitch"
Student: I'm certain that is incorrect.
Teacher: You are suspended, rude, and sus af bruh
June 6, 2025 at 8:06 PM
Shameless Crosspost!
How history classes will be taught in 2035:
Teacher: Scholars say modern history began in 2005, when a band known as Buckcherry recorded an anthem for the ages, known as "Crazy Bitch"
Student: I'm certain that is incorrect.
Teacher: You are suspended, rude, and sus af bruh
How history classes will be taught in 2035:
Teacher: Scholars say modern history began in 2005, when a band known as Buckcherry recorded an anthem for the ages, known as "Crazy Bitch"
Student: I'm certain that is incorrect.
Teacher: You are suspended, rude, and sus af bruh
SpaceX does need to be taken over though. There is too much cost-cutting and not enough testing (prior to launch and real flight tests).
June 6, 2025 at 1:18 AM
SpaceX does need to be taken over though. There is too much cost-cutting and not enough testing (prior to launch and real flight tests).
Did Trump leak the stuff about Elon's drug use? Or someone in the cabinet? Seems like this feud has been simmering, but when are you are a couple of basic "baddies" (not using the slang properly), you know a fight is going to happen. The hoops are coming off. Our constant is the Twizzler(?)
June 6, 2025 at 1:14 AM
Did Trump leak the stuff about Elon's drug use? Or someone in the cabinet? Seems like this feud has been simmering, but when are you are a couple of basic "baddies" (not using the slang properly), you know a fight is going to happen. The hoops are coming off. Our constant is the Twizzler(?)
You ever try to snort crushed up Cheese Nips? Can't recommend it, also can't discourage you if you want a taste of the Nip. Perhaps "Just the Tip," and my social media team is telling me to apologize but I never back down, I double down! This is online!
June 4, 2025 at 4:44 AM
You ever try to snort crushed up Cheese Nips? Can't recommend it, also can't discourage you if you want a taste of the Nip. Perhaps "Just the Tip," and my social media team is telling me to apologize but I never back down, I double down! This is online!
Anybody else get freaked out by the Little Debbie logo? I don't like how she looks at me. It's not that kind of relationship and she needs to calm down.
June 4, 2025 at 4:38 AM
Anybody else get freaked out by the Little Debbie logo? I don't like how she looks at me. It's not that kind of relationship and she needs to calm down.
Looking forward to USNS The Grimace, USNS IBS, USNS Utimate Warrior, USCG Obungler, USNS John Rambo, MMV Propofol, etc.
June 3, 2025 at 10:14 PM
Looking forward to USNS The Grimace, USNS IBS, USNS Utimate Warrior, USCG Obungler, USNS John Rambo, MMV Propofol, etc.
Dating No No: Don't pay the Mariachi band to play the Guns N Roses classic "Mr. Brownstone" and expect to have another date.
It was a surprise but not a good one. That was an incredible cover though and I am not sorry, I am stupid as hell and I will do it again.
It was a surprise but not a good one. That was an incredible cover though and I am not sorry, I am stupid as hell and I will do it again.
June 3, 2025 at 4:37 AM
Dating No No: Don't pay the Mariachi band to play the Guns N Roses classic "Mr. Brownstone" and expect to have another date.
It was a surprise but not a good one. That was an incredible cover though and I am not sorry, I am stupid as hell and I will do it again.
It was a surprise but not a good one. That was an incredible cover though and I am not sorry, I am stupid as hell and I will do it again.