I was about to take a sip out of my carbonated drink when a genie flew out of it and told me it would grant me three wishes. I exorcised him immediately. Demons pretending to be genies and the like is so old school, but why did it have to haunt my drink? Going to purchase another one now.

I stumbled into a dragon's lair and discovered a mountain full of gold and jewellery. When the dragon returned, I asked why everything in his pile was fake. Turns out he bought the stuff as a display from IKEA, pillaging cities for gold wasn't exactly easy to do anymore. It broadened my horizons.

I attended my local witch's birthday banquet and we were to offer birthday gifts. Some gifted magical orbs and others gifted unusual trinkets, but I gifted her a Falcon Dominator Plus E3907i portable cooker. No more manually adjusting the temperature using fire for witchcraft. Hooray to science!

Anyone else tired of these uneducated newborn eldritch horrors? One of them accidentally thought wrongly and my whole house suddenly turned into a dimension of flesh and eyeballs. I had to spend all day yesterday repairing the five layers of reality in my house back to normal. No manners at all.

I've just eaten 2000kcals of coleslaw and I genuinely felt my soul ascending. Yet again, I've found another way to obtain enlightenment and achieve nirvana. Though the path to ascension is a long and arduous trek, coleslaw can make one soar through the sky. Highly recommend.

I was in my dream revising earth magic when an uninvited guest challenged me to a duel. He kept showing off his ability to mold earth, turning rods into spikes, and mud into metal, so I directly conjured a mountain-sized tombstone for him. His avatar hastily vanished after that. Why barge in anyway?

Today I had boiled potatoes when I heard screams coming from the pot. Turns out that the potatoes were sentient and they wished to return to the soil. I dug a hole for the potatoes and buried them in my back garden. I don't know which wizard is granting conciousness to potatoes, but now I'm hungry.

I've recently discovered the monster that has been lurking under my bed for the past month. Unfortunately, he is unable to pay his rent, so I had no choice but to evict him. Sorry ᎦᏁ'ᏗᎧᏋᏦᎶᏝᎦ, no pay, no stay.

I seem to have flooded my house because I had left the tap on... No matter, I will build an ark and live on it until the water level goes down.

Thanks