The Blair Witch Project (1999)

driving behind an SUV where i can clearly see the silhouettes of two girls in the backseat hitting each other as hard as they possibly can with princess wands

Italian Fred Durst: “blame it all on the gnocchi”

whenever i see people on lost media stuff swearing up and down that they didn’t imagine/misremember something, i think back fondly to a reddit post where someone was insisting— INSISTING— that there was a fifth Teletubby who was pink and named Kindfar and would not hear ANYTHING to the contrary

got a drink from the gas station, and the cashier ripped off the receipt and said “can i have—“ and then made a face like he realized he chose the wrong words but committed and finished with “can i have your receipt”

and i said “yeah bud” and he said “thanks” and then looked like he wanted to die

me housing an entire Little Caesar’s Hot-N-Ready pepperoni pizza with my infant daughter in the back seat of the car: “god i hope this isn’t a formative memory for you”

love when students give me toys! i love toys!!!

dipped my toes back into horror youtube while packing tonight and every time anyone talks in hushed tones about Saki Sanobashi it makes me want to fly screaming into the sun

“to this day no one has confirmed its existence”

that’s because it’s the fakest thing in history

finally reading JJK from start to finish and… was the mangaka on some sort of deadline that i’m not aware of? everything feels so rushed; nothing has any time to breathe, and because of that it feels like there are never any stakes.

i’ve been trying to get into a headspace where i treat this account more like Twitter where i don’t have to sit and think “is this worth a post,” i just throw shit at the wall and see what sticks. so here, check out this ad for an extremely phallic Build-A-Bear Minion

my Spotify Wrapped is always underwhelming because i listen to music so infrequently that it’s always like “here’s your top played song for the year! you listened to it 18 times over the course of 365 days, you wild man!”

was someone going to tell me that 20th Century Boys and Monster were made by the same person or did i have to figure that one out myself at 9:45 on a Monday

me, cooing over Butts: “oh look, the cutest cat ever!”
Butts: *looks over his shoulder completely by coincidence*
Me: “he looked over his shoulder like he thought it wasn’t him!! he’s so MODEST! Christine, he’s so MODEST! He’s so MODEST, Christine!”
Christine: “oh my god would you shut the fuck up”

i love doing my Shakespeare unit because the kids almost always get so invested in the stories. today my kids GASPED when Mercutio gets stabbed and CHEERED with Romeo killed Tybalt.

One Piece live action better make it to North Blue because i KNOW Netflix already has a relationship with him and can make it happen

i brought my cheese dice to my in-laws to play a one shot… only to discover that my father in law had wine dove to pair with them

why is it what whenever i’m giving an exam and the room is dead silent, my body decides that i desperately, desperately need to fart?

i got both Pikmin 4 and Baldur’s Gate 3 and haven’t played either for two days because decision paralysis has prevented me from picking up either one, and this is conclusive proof that my brain is fundamentally broken.

forget the back-talking students, the sullen students, and the lazy students… the real classroom killers are the silly kids. can’t get nothin’ done if the little blonde jerk in the back is doing armpit farts.