Sir Michael Take CBE
@sirmichaeltake.bsky.social
The former Conservative MP for Dorset East.🇬🇧
What will Peter Mandelson do now?
-Defect to Reform
-TalkTV host
-Become President of The USA
-Get a house on The Windsor Estate
-Blame the deep state & The Bank of England
-Write a column for The Daily Mail
- Offer birthday & Valentine’s Day messages on Cameo
-Blame his autism.
-Defect to Reform
-TalkTV host
-Become President of The USA
-Get a house on The Windsor Estate
-Blame the deep state & The Bank of England
-Write a column for The Daily Mail
- Offer birthday & Valentine’s Day messages on Cameo
-Blame his autism.
February 3, 2026 at 8:21 AM
What will Peter Mandelson do now?
-Defect to Reform
-TalkTV host
-Become President of The USA
-Get a house on The Windsor Estate
-Blame the deep state & The Bank of England
-Write a column for The Daily Mail
- Offer birthday & Valentine’s Day messages on Cameo
-Blame his autism.
-Defect to Reform
-TalkTV host
-Become President of The USA
-Get a house on The Windsor Estate
-Blame the deep state & The Bank of England
-Write a column for The Daily Mail
- Offer birthday & Valentine’s Day messages on Cameo
-Blame his autism.
“Look Nige!
There’s another one of those brainwashed morons who’s promised to vote for us…”
There’s another one of those brainwashed morons who’s promised to vote for us…”
February 2, 2026 at 8:13 AM
“Look Nige!
There’s another one of those brainwashed morons who’s promised to vote for us…”
There’s another one of those brainwashed morons who’s promised to vote for us…”
You can now get Gregg Wallace to send your loved one a Valentine’s Day message…😱
“Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
If you say that you love me,
I’ll drop my trousers for you.”
😍😍😍
“Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
If you say that you love me,
I’ll drop my trousers for you.”
😍😍😍
February 1, 2026 at 9:10 AM
You can now get Gregg Wallace to send your loved one a Valentine’s Day message…😱
“Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
If you say that you love me,
I’ll drop my trousers for you.”
😍😍😍
“Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
If you say that you love me,
I’ll drop my trousers for you.”
😍😍😍
Here we see working class Mancunian lad Matt Goodwin campaigning vigorously and winning over yet another voter in the Gorton and Denton by-election.
January 31, 2026 at 8:29 AM
Here we see working class Mancunian lad Matt Goodwin campaigning vigorously and winning over yet another voter in the Gorton and Denton by-election.
Storm Chandra:
Chandra?
That’s not a British name.
Why not Storm Colin?😤
Down here in Dorset we’ve been flooded out.
Jill in the village shop can’t get her yeast supplies for baking.
I can’t take Ramrod for a walk and Bunty is moist beyond belief!
Sort it out Starmer!
🤬
Chandra?
That’s not a British name.
Why not Storm Colin?😤
Down here in Dorset we’ve been flooded out.
Jill in the village shop can’t get her yeast supplies for baking.
I can’t take Ramrod for a walk and Bunty is moist beyond belief!
Sort it out Starmer!
🤬
January 29, 2026 at 8:51 AM
Storm Chandra:
Chandra?
That’s not a British name.
Why not Storm Colin?😤
Down here in Dorset we’ve been flooded out.
Jill in the village shop can’t get her yeast supplies for baking.
I can’t take Ramrod for a walk and Bunty is moist beyond belief!
Sort it out Starmer!
🤬
Chandra?
That’s not a British name.
Why not Storm Colin?😤
Down here in Dorset we’ve been flooded out.
Jill in the village shop can’t get her yeast supplies for baking.
I can’t take Ramrod for a walk and Bunty is moist beyond belief!
Sort it out Starmer!
🤬
So what is Lee Anderson’s little secret?
He’s going to carry on election campaigning in the wrong constituency?
He smears peanut butter on his girth?
He smells of mint?
He’s joining a new political party?
He hasn’t had a bath in 4 years?
His nickname is ‘Bubbles’?
He’s a vegan?🤔
He’s going to carry on election campaigning in the wrong constituency?
He smears peanut butter on his girth?
He smells of mint?
He’s joining a new political party?
He hasn’t had a bath in 4 years?
His nickname is ‘Bubbles’?
He’s a vegan?🤔
January 28, 2026 at 9:00 AM
So what is Lee Anderson’s little secret?
He’s going to carry on election campaigning in the wrong constituency?
He smears peanut butter on his girth?
He smells of mint?
He’s joining a new political party?
He hasn’t had a bath in 4 years?
His nickname is ‘Bubbles’?
He’s a vegan?🤔
He’s going to carry on election campaigning in the wrong constituency?
He smears peanut butter on his girth?
He smells of mint?
He’s joining a new political party?
He hasn’t had a bath in 4 years?
His nickname is ‘Bubbles’?
He’s a vegan?🤔
‘You, Boy!
Fetch me Jacob Rees-Mogg and Liz Truss.
I’m turning Reform UK into the f*cking Conservatives!’
Fetch me Jacob Rees-Mogg and Liz Truss.
I’m turning Reform UK into the f*cking Conservatives!’
January 27, 2026 at 9:11 AM
‘You, Boy!
Fetch me Jacob Rees-Mogg and Liz Truss.
I’m turning Reform UK into the f*cking Conservatives!’
Fetch me Jacob Rees-Mogg and Liz Truss.
I’m turning Reform UK into the f*cking Conservatives!’
Huzzah & Hooorah!🥳
That’s nearly all of Boris’s Cabinet now defecating to Reform.
All we need now is for The Big Dog to join Reform, push Fartage out and hey presto…It’s a return to the good old days!
Reform?
Ha!
It’s Conform UK now!
🇬🇧
That’s nearly all of Boris’s Cabinet now defecating to Reform.
All we need now is for The Big Dog to join Reform, push Fartage out and hey presto…It’s a return to the good old days!
Reform?
Ha!
It’s Conform UK now!
🇬🇧
January 26, 2026 at 2:07 PM
Huzzah & Hooorah!🥳
That’s nearly all of Boris’s Cabinet now defecating to Reform.
All we need now is for The Big Dog to join Reform, push Fartage out and hey presto…It’s a return to the good old days!
Reform?
Ha!
It’s Conform UK now!
🇬🇧
That’s nearly all of Boris’s Cabinet now defecating to Reform.
All we need now is for The Big Dog to join Reform, push Fartage out and hey presto…It’s a return to the good old days!
Reform?
Ha!
It’s Conform UK now!
🇬🇧
Andy Burnham returning to his Mayor’s office in Manchester this morning…
January 26, 2026 at 11:00 AM
Andy Burnham returning to his Mayor’s office in Manchester this morning…
Gregg Wallace has let himself go…
January 25, 2026 at 8:20 AM
Gregg Wallace has let himself go…
Those joining Donald Trump’s Board of Peace:
USA
Thighland
Iceland
Aberbian
Covfefe
FIFA
The cats & dogs that were eaten
Brooklyn Beckham
Lee Anderson
Chaka Demus & Pliers
The Daily Mail
GB News
Dan Wooden
Richard Littlejohn
Huw Edwards
Gary Glitter
Moths
Pussy grabbers
Ears.
🇺🇸
USA
Thighland
Iceland
Aberbian
Covfefe
FIFA
The cats & dogs that were eaten
Brooklyn Beckham
Lee Anderson
Chaka Demus & Pliers
The Daily Mail
GB News
Dan Wooden
Richard Littlejohn
Huw Edwards
Gary Glitter
Moths
Pussy grabbers
Ears.
🇺🇸
January 23, 2026 at 8:04 AM
Those joining Donald Trump’s Board of Peace:
USA
Thighland
Iceland
Aberbian
Covfefe
FIFA
The cats & dogs that were eaten
Brooklyn Beckham
Lee Anderson
Chaka Demus & Pliers
The Daily Mail
GB News
Dan Wooden
Richard Littlejohn
Huw Edwards
Gary Glitter
Moths
Pussy grabbers
Ears.
🇺🇸
USA
Thighland
Iceland
Aberbian
Covfefe
FIFA
The cats & dogs that were eaten
Brooklyn Beckham
Lee Anderson
Chaka Demus & Pliers
The Daily Mail
GB News
Dan Wooden
Richard Littlejohn
Huw Edwards
Gary Glitter
Moths
Pussy grabbers
Ears.
🇺🇸
Once upon a time there lived a funny little man called Trumpy Wumpy.
He had straw hair, orange skin & smelled horrible.
But he could do magic!
He grew back his ear once & he had a strange power called Redaction which made things he didn’t like disappear.
He was jolly nasty…
He had straw hair, orange skin & smelled horrible.
But he could do magic!
He grew back his ear once & he had a strange power called Redaction which made things he didn’t like disappear.
He was jolly nasty…
January 21, 2026 at 10:00 AM
Once upon a time there lived a funny little man called Trumpy Wumpy.
He had straw hair, orange skin & smelled horrible.
But he could do magic!
He grew back his ear once & he had a strange power called Redaction which made things he didn’t like disappear.
He was jolly nasty…
He had straw hair, orange skin & smelled horrible.
But he could do magic!
He grew back his ear once & he had a strange power called Redaction which made things he didn’t like disappear.
He was jolly nasty…
I talked to Dean our paperboy about the government possibly banning under 16s from social media today.
‘Do you know what Toxic Masculinity is Dean?’ I ask him.
‘Yeh Course I do bruh!’ he replies.
‘It’s that new antiperspirant from Lynx. My Nan bought me some this Christmas.’
🥴
‘Do you know what Toxic Masculinity is Dean?’ I ask him.
‘Yeh Course I do bruh!’ he replies.
‘It’s that new antiperspirant from Lynx. My Nan bought me some this Christmas.’
🥴
January 20, 2026 at 8:10 AM
I talked to Dean our paperboy about the government possibly banning under 16s from social media today.
‘Do you know what Toxic Masculinity is Dean?’ I ask him.
‘Yeh Course I do bruh!’ he replies.
‘It’s that new antiperspirant from Lynx. My Nan bought me some this Christmas.’
🥴
‘Do you know what Toxic Masculinity is Dean?’ I ask him.
‘Yeh Course I do bruh!’ he replies.
‘It’s that new antiperspirant from Lynx. My Nan bought me some this Christmas.’
🥴
I wonder why Nigel Farage has pulled out of The Laura Kuenssberg TV programme this morning?
🤔
🤔
January 18, 2026 at 9:30 AM
I wonder why Nigel Farage has pulled out of The Laura Kuenssberg TV programme this morning?
🤔
🤔
Tour guide at Mar-a-Lago:
‘If you look up in the far right corner, 3 rows down, you should be able to see President Trump’s European Figure Skating Champion Trophy of 2022. Below that his ‘Neatest Handwriting in Class Award of 2013. Oh & there’s his FA Cup winners medal etc etc’
‘If you look up in the far right corner, 3 rows down, you should be able to see President Trump’s European Figure Skating Champion Trophy of 2022. Below that his ‘Neatest Handwriting in Class Award of 2013. Oh & there’s his FA Cup winners medal etc etc’
January 18, 2026 at 8:22 AM
Tour guide at Mar-a-Lago:
‘If you look up in the far right corner, 3 rows down, you should be able to see President Trump’s European Figure Skating Champion Trophy of 2022. Below that his ‘Neatest Handwriting in Class Award of 2013. Oh & there’s his FA Cup winners medal etc etc’
‘If you look up in the far right corner, 3 rows down, you should be able to see President Trump’s European Figure Skating Champion Trophy of 2022. Below that his ‘Neatest Handwriting in Class Award of 2013. Oh & there’s his FA Cup winners medal etc etc’
Jill in the village shop says she’s thinking of defecating to Reform.
She has started baking Clacton Baps, told us London has fallen & keeps asking for the migration status of every customer.
She says Dubai is where she longs to be as she is a committed Christian.
WHAT DO I DO?😱
She has started baking Clacton Baps, told us London has fallen & keeps asking for the migration status of every customer.
She says Dubai is where she longs to be as she is a committed Christian.
WHAT DO I DO?😱
January 16, 2026 at 9:55 AM
Jill in the village shop says she’s thinking of defecating to Reform.
She has started baking Clacton Baps, told us London has fallen & keeps asking for the migration status of every customer.
She says Dubai is where she longs to be as she is a committed Christian.
WHAT DO I DO?😱
She has started baking Clacton Baps, told us London has fallen & keeps asking for the migration status of every customer.
She says Dubai is where she longs to be as she is a committed Christian.
WHAT DO I DO?😱
Reposted by Sir Michael Take CBE
Robert Jenrick.
Sacked by Kemi!
Tory whip withdrawn (Oo er Missus!)
Big J-GONE!
We will all miss his spunk, his toes, his odour of mash, his hairy conkers.
Robert stood up against fare dodgers, innocent children & common sense.
A possible future leader.
Kemi what have you done?😤
Sacked by Kemi!
Tory whip withdrawn (Oo er Missus!)
Big J-GONE!
We will all miss his spunk, his toes, his odour of mash, his hairy conkers.
Robert stood up against fare dodgers, innocent children & common sense.
A possible future leader.
Kemi what have you done?😤
January 15, 2026 at 11:46 AM
Robert Jenrick.
Sacked by Kemi!
Tory whip withdrawn (Oo er Missus!)
Big J-GONE!
We will all miss his spunk, his toes, his odour of mash, his hairy conkers.
Robert stood up against fare dodgers, innocent children & common sense.
A possible future leader.
Kemi what have you done?😤
Sacked by Kemi!
Tory whip withdrawn (Oo er Missus!)
Big J-GONE!
We will all miss his spunk, his toes, his odour of mash, his hairy conkers.
Robert stood up against fare dodgers, innocent children & common sense.
A possible future leader.
Kemi what have you done?😤
Robert Jenrick.
Sacked by Kemi!
Tory whip withdrawn (Oo er Missus!)
Big J-GONE!
We will all miss his spunk, his toes, his odour of mash, his hairy conkers.
Robert stood up against fare dodgers, innocent children & common sense.
A possible future leader.
Kemi what have you done?😤
Sacked by Kemi!
Tory whip withdrawn (Oo er Missus!)
Big J-GONE!
We will all miss his spunk, his toes, his odour of mash, his hairy conkers.
Robert stood up against fare dodgers, innocent children & common sense.
A possible future leader.
Kemi what have you done?😤
January 15, 2026 at 11:46 AM
Robert Jenrick.
Sacked by Kemi!
Tory whip withdrawn (Oo er Missus!)
Big J-GONE!
We will all miss his spunk, his toes, his odour of mash, his hairy conkers.
Robert stood up against fare dodgers, innocent children & common sense.
A possible future leader.
Kemi what have you done?😤
Sacked by Kemi!
Tory whip withdrawn (Oo er Missus!)
Big J-GONE!
We will all miss his spunk, his toes, his odour of mash, his hairy conkers.
Robert stood up against fare dodgers, innocent children & common sense.
A possible future leader.
Kemi what have you done?😤
My wife Bunty went to old Mrs Cobb in the village yesterday.
Mrs Cobb reads the tea leaves & is a clairvoyant.
She said Bunty would come into money this year & her toe fungi would disappear.
But also Mrs Cobb (Mystic Ada) predicted Reform would be getting this new recruit soon!🫣
Mrs Cobb reads the tea leaves & is a clairvoyant.
She said Bunty would come into money this year & her toe fungi would disappear.
But also Mrs Cobb (Mystic Ada) predicted Reform would be getting this new recruit soon!🫣
January 14, 2026 at 10:28 AM
My wife Bunty went to old Mrs Cobb in the village yesterday.
Mrs Cobb reads the tea leaves & is a clairvoyant.
She said Bunty would come into money this year & her toe fungi would disappear.
But also Mrs Cobb (Mystic Ada) predicted Reform would be getting this new recruit soon!🫣
Mrs Cobb reads the tea leaves & is a clairvoyant.
She said Bunty would come into money this year & her toe fungi would disappear.
But also Mrs Cobb (Mystic Ada) predicted Reform would be getting this new recruit soon!🫣
Nigel & Nadhim:
A partnership that rolls off the tongue like:
John Torode & Gregg Wallace
Eamonn Holmes & Ruth Langsford
Liam & Noel Gallagher
Dan Wootton & Honesty
Rylan & Migrants
Michael McIntyre & Comedy
Tottenham Hotspur & Football.
You see secretly, they HATE each other!😬
A partnership that rolls off the tongue like:
John Torode & Gregg Wallace
Eamonn Holmes & Ruth Langsford
Liam & Noel Gallagher
Dan Wootton & Honesty
Rylan & Migrants
Michael McIntyre & Comedy
Tottenham Hotspur & Football.
You see secretly, they HATE each other!😬
January 13, 2026 at 9:06 AM
Nigel & Nadhim:
A partnership that rolls off the tongue like:
John Torode & Gregg Wallace
Eamonn Holmes & Ruth Langsford
Liam & Noel Gallagher
Dan Wootton & Honesty
Rylan & Migrants
Michael McIntyre & Comedy
Tottenham Hotspur & Football.
You see secretly, they HATE each other!😬
A partnership that rolls off the tongue like:
John Torode & Gregg Wallace
Eamonn Holmes & Ruth Langsford
Liam & Noel Gallagher
Dan Wootton & Honesty
Rylan & Migrants
Michael McIntyre & Comedy
Tottenham Hotspur & Football.
You see secretly, they HATE each other!😬
Reposted by Sir Michael Take CBE
People of America.
Just one question:
Why is it you only seem to be able talk to your president when he’s on a bloody aeroplane!?
🤔
Just one question:
Why is it you only seem to be able talk to your president when he’s on a bloody aeroplane!?
🤔
January 12, 2026 at 8:19 AM
People of America.
Just one question:
Why is it you only seem to be able talk to your president when he’s on a bloody aeroplane!?
🤔
Just one question:
Why is it you only seem to be able talk to your president when he’s on a bloody aeroplane!?
🤔
Reposted by Sir Michael Take CBE
We Conservatives are taking you over!
Robert Jenrick to ‘join’ next.
Then Govey, Moggy & many more.
Finally Boris to join you & take over from the morally & financially suspect Nigel!
Ha Ha Reform.🤣
You are such suckers!!!!
(As Dean my paperboy says).
🇬🇧😂😂😂
Robert Jenrick to ‘join’ next.
Then Govey, Moggy & many more.
Finally Boris to join you & take over from the morally & financially suspect Nigel!
Ha Ha Reform.🤣
You are such suckers!!!!
(As Dean my paperboy says).
🇬🇧😂😂😂
January 12, 2026 at 12:09 PM
We Conservatives are taking you over!
Robert Jenrick to ‘join’ next.
Then Govey, Moggy & many more.
Finally Boris to join you & take over from the morally & financially suspect Nigel!
Ha Ha Reform.🤣
You are such suckers!!!!
(As Dean my paperboy says).
🇬🇧😂😂😂
Robert Jenrick to ‘join’ next.
Then Govey, Moggy & many more.
Finally Boris to join you & take over from the morally & financially suspect Nigel!
Ha Ha Reform.🤣
You are such suckers!!!!
(As Dean my paperboy says).
🇬🇧😂😂😂
We Conservatives are taking you over!
Robert Jenrick to ‘join’ next.
Then Govey, Moggy & many more.
Finally Boris to join you & take over from the morally & financially suspect Nigel!
Ha Ha Reform.🤣
You are such suckers!!!!
(As Dean my paperboy says).
🇬🇧😂😂😂
Robert Jenrick to ‘join’ next.
Then Govey, Moggy & many more.
Finally Boris to join you & take over from the morally & financially suspect Nigel!
Ha Ha Reform.🤣
You are such suckers!!!!
(As Dean my paperboy says).
🇬🇧😂😂😂
January 12, 2026 at 12:09 PM
We Conservatives are taking you over!
Robert Jenrick to ‘join’ next.
Then Govey, Moggy & many more.
Finally Boris to join you & take over from the morally & financially suspect Nigel!
Ha Ha Reform.🤣
You are such suckers!!!!
(As Dean my paperboy says).
🇬🇧😂😂😂
Robert Jenrick to ‘join’ next.
Then Govey, Moggy & many more.
Finally Boris to join you & take over from the morally & financially suspect Nigel!
Ha Ha Reform.🤣
You are such suckers!!!!
(As Dean my paperboy says).
🇬🇧😂😂😂
People of America.
Just one question:
Why is it you only seem to be able talk to your president when he’s on a bloody aeroplane!?
🤔
Just one question:
Why is it you only seem to be able talk to your president when he’s on a bloody aeroplane!?
🤔
January 12, 2026 at 8:19 AM
People of America.
Just one question:
Why is it you only seem to be able talk to your president when he’s on a bloody aeroplane!?
🤔
Just one question:
Why is it you only seem to be able talk to your president when he’s on a bloody aeroplane!?
🤔