SimpsonsQOTD
@simpsonsqotd.bsky.social
Ah! I love these lazy Saturdays.
Pinned
"So, this patch steadily releases nicotine into
my body eliminating my need for cigarettes."
my body eliminating my need for cigarettes."
November 14, 2025 at 7:00 PM
"So, this patch steadily releases nicotine into
my body eliminating my need for cigarettes."
my body eliminating my need for cigarettes."
"Smithers, this beer isn't working.
I don't feel any younger or funkier."
"I'll switch to the tablespoon, Sir."
I don't feel any younger or funkier."
"I'll switch to the tablespoon, Sir."
November 13, 2025 at 7:02 PM
"Smithers, this beer isn't working.
I don't feel any younger or funkier."
"I'll switch to the tablespoon, Sir."
I don't feel any younger or funkier."
"I'll switch to the tablespoon, Sir."
'Clancy, use the remote."
"Oh, yeah."
"Oh, yeah."
November 12, 2025 at 7:01 PM
'Clancy, use the remote."
"Oh, yeah."
"Oh, yeah."
"I want to set the record straight.
I thought the cop was a prostitute."
I thought the cop was a prostitute."
November 11, 2025 at 7:02 PM
"I want to set the record straight.
I thought the cop was a prostitute."
I thought the cop was a prostitute."
"Stupid trash...
Rotten, stinky...
Hate world...
Revenge soon...
Take out on everyone...
Aah! Garbage water!"
Rotten, stinky...
Hate world...
Revenge soon...
Take out on everyone...
Aah! Garbage water!"
November 10, 2025 at 7:02 PM
"Stupid trash...
Rotten, stinky...
Hate world...
Revenge soon...
Take out on everyone...
Aah! Garbage water!"
Rotten, stinky...
Hate world...
Revenge soon...
Take out on everyone...
Aah! Garbage water!"
"Aw, man, he's making us look
like a bunch of cheapskates.
Whoa, whoa, my rope came loose."
like a bunch of cheapskates.
Whoa, whoa, my rope came loose."
November 9, 2025 at 7:00 PM
"Aw, man, he's making us look
like a bunch of cheapskates.
Whoa, whoa, my rope came loose."
like a bunch of cheapskates.
Whoa, whoa, my rope came loose."
"What's Gabbo?
I figure it's some guy's name.
Some guy named Gabbo. Hmm."
"I don't think they're giving you
enough information, dad."
"I'll figure it out.
I'm going to use all the power of my brain."
I figure it's some guy's name.
Some guy named Gabbo. Hmm."
"I don't think they're giving you
enough information, dad."
"I'll figure it out.
I'm going to use all the power of my brain."
November 8, 2025 at 7:00 PM
"What's Gabbo?
I figure it's some guy's name.
Some guy named Gabbo. Hmm."
"I don't think they're giving you
enough information, dad."
"I'll figure it out.
I'm going to use all the power of my brain."
I figure it's some guy's name.
Some guy named Gabbo. Hmm."
"I don't think they're giving you
enough information, dad."
"I'll figure it out.
I'm going to use all the power of my brain."
"Why? Why was I programmed to feel pain?"
November 7, 2025 at 7:01 PM
"Why? Why was I programmed to feel pain?"
"Oh, I've never liked the little wiener Milhouse."
November 6, 2025 at 7:02 PM
"Oh, I've never liked the little wiener Milhouse."
"Mrs. Simpson what did you and your husband do
after you were ejected from the restaurant?"
"We pretty much went straight home."
"Mrs. Simpson you're under oath."
"We drove around until 3:00
Looking for another all-you-can-eat fish restaurant."
"And when you couldnt find one?"
"We went fishing"
after you were ejected from the restaurant?"
"We pretty much went straight home."
"Mrs. Simpson you're under oath."
"We drove around until 3:00
Looking for another all-you-can-eat fish restaurant."
"And when you couldnt find one?"
"We went fishing"
November 5, 2025 at 7:00 PM
"Mrs. Simpson what did you and your husband do
after you were ejected from the restaurant?"
"We pretty much went straight home."
"Mrs. Simpson you're under oath."
"We drove around until 3:00
Looking for another all-you-can-eat fish restaurant."
"And when you couldnt find one?"
"We went fishing"
after you were ejected from the restaurant?"
"We pretty much went straight home."
"Mrs. Simpson you're under oath."
"We drove around until 3:00
Looking for another all-you-can-eat fish restaurant."
"And when you couldnt find one?"
"We went fishing"
"You know, Smithers, I think I'll donate a million dollars to the local orphanage... When pigs fly."
November 4, 2025 at 7:00 PM
"You know, Smithers, I think I'll donate a million dollars to the local orphanage... When pigs fly."
"Now, what is a wedding? Well, Webster's Dictionary describes a wedding as
'The process of removing weeds from one's garden'."
'The process of removing weeds from one's garden'."
November 3, 2025 at 7:00 PM
"Now, what is a wedding? Well, Webster's Dictionary describes a wedding as
'The process of removing weeds from one's garden'."
'The process of removing weeds from one's garden'."
"Krusty, why are you here?"
"It's part of my public service for my
glug-glug, vroom-vroom, thump-thump."
"It's part of my public service for my
glug-glug, vroom-vroom, thump-thump."
November 2, 2025 at 7:00 PM
"Krusty, why are you here?"
"It's part of my public service for my
glug-glug, vroom-vroom, thump-thump."
"It's part of my public service for my
glug-glug, vroom-vroom, thump-thump."
"Show's over, Shakespeare."
November 1, 2025 at 7:02 PM
"Show's over, Shakespeare."
"Hey, hi, fellow halloweenies.
Did I scaredilly-dare you?"
"Why... Da-da-darn it."
Did I scaredilly-dare you?"
"Why... Da-da-darn it."
October 31, 2025 at 9:01 PM
"Hey, hi, fellow halloweenies.
Did I scaredilly-dare you?"
"Why... Da-da-darn it."
Did I scaredilly-dare you?"
"Why... Da-da-darn it."
"Ooh! Look, Marge, Maggie lost her baby legs."
"Oh, my god. Homer, do something.
The ceiling's not a safe place for a young baby."
"Oh, my god. Homer, do something.
The ceiling's not a safe place for a young baby."
October 31, 2025 at 7:04 PM
"Ooh! Look, Marge, Maggie lost her baby legs."
"Oh, my god. Homer, do something.
The ceiling's not a safe place for a young baby."
"Oh, my god. Homer, do something.
The ceiling's not a safe place for a young baby."
“Come on! We just wanna eat your skin.”
October 30, 2025 at 7:05 PM
“Come on! We just wanna eat your skin.”
“Homer? It’s Moe. Listen, some of the ghouls
and I think the project isn’t moving forward.”
“Can’t murder now, eating.”
"Aw for crying out loud, come on."
and I think the project isn’t moving forward.”
“Can’t murder now, eating.”
"Aw for crying out loud, come on."
October 29, 2025 at 7:04 PM
“Homer? It’s Moe. Listen, some of the ghouls
and I think the project isn’t moving forward.”
“Can’t murder now, eating.”
"Aw for crying out loud, come on."
and I think the project isn’t moving forward.”
“Can’t murder now, eating.”
"Aw for crying out loud, come on."
"Gaah! Help! Please help me!"
"Willie, please. Mr. Van Houten has the floor."
"I for one would like to see the cafeteria
menus in advance so parents can adjust
their dinner menus accordingly.
I don't like the idea of Milhouse having
two spaghetti meals in one day."
"Willie, please. Mr. Van Houten has the floor."
"I for one would like to see the cafeteria
menus in advance so parents can adjust
their dinner menus accordingly.
I don't like the idea of Milhouse having
two spaghetti meals in one day."
October 28, 2025 at 7:04 PM
"Gaah! Help! Please help me!"
"Willie, please. Mr. Van Houten has the floor."
"I for one would like to see the cafeteria
menus in advance so parents can adjust
their dinner menus accordingly.
I don't like the idea of Milhouse having
two spaghetti meals in one day."
"Willie, please. Mr. Van Houten has the floor."
"I for one would like to see the cafeteria
menus in advance so parents can adjust
their dinner menus accordingly.
I don't like the idea of Milhouse having
two spaghetti meals in one day."
"Excuse me, I'm John Smith."
"John Smith 1882?"
"My mistake."
"John Smith 1882?"
"My mistake."
October 27, 2025 at 7:03 PM
"Excuse me, I'm John Smith."
"John Smith 1882?"
"My mistake."
"John Smith 1882?"
"My mistake."
"Quick! We have to kill the boy!"
"How'd you know he's a vampire?"
"He's a vampire? Aaah!"
"Homer, we gotta do something.
Today, he's drinking people's blood.
Tomorrow, he could be smoking."
"How'd you know he's a vampire?"
"He's a vampire? Aaah!"
"Homer, we gotta do something.
Today, he's drinking people's blood.
Tomorrow, he could be smoking."
October 26, 2025 at 9:00 PM
"Quick! We have to kill the boy!"
"How'd you know he's a vampire?"
"He's a vampire? Aaah!"
"Homer, we gotta do something.
Today, he's drinking people's blood.
Tomorrow, he could be smoking."
"How'd you know he's a vampire?"
"He's a vampire? Aaah!"
"Homer, we gotta do something.
Today, he's drinking people's blood.
Tomorrow, he could be smoking."
"There, there, Hugo, I understand.
All those years caged up in here
why, you've probably never even seen
your own face in the mirror have you? Here."
All those years caged up in here
why, you've probably never even seen
your own face in the mirror have you? Here."
October 26, 2025 at 5:00 PM
"There, there, Hugo, I understand.
All those years caged up in here
why, you've probably never even seen
your own face in the mirror have you? Here."
All those years caged up in here
why, you've probably never even seen
your own face in the mirror have you? Here."
"You're still not in your own world, Homer.
I can get you home, but you have to do exactly as..."
"This is indeed a disturbing universe."
I can get you home, but you have to do exactly as..."
"This is indeed a disturbing universe."
October 25, 2025 at 7:01 PM
"You're still not in your own world, Homer.
I can get you home, but you have to do exactly as..."
"This is indeed a disturbing universe."
I can get you home, but you have to do exactly as..."
"This is indeed a disturbing universe."
"Trick or treat, man."
“Hey, aren't you a little old for this?
You're not even wearing costumes."
“Hand over the candy, old dude, or we
egg your house back to the stone age!"
“Hey, aren't you a little old for this?
You're not even wearing costumes."
“Hand over the candy, old dude, or we
egg your house back to the stone age!"
October 24, 2025 at 7:02 PM
"Trick or treat, man."
“Hey, aren't you a little old for this?
You're not even wearing costumes."
“Hand over the candy, old dude, or we
egg your house back to the stone age!"
“Hey, aren't you a little old for this?
You're not even wearing costumes."
“Hand over the candy, old dude, or we
egg your house back to the stone age!"
"Hey, Simpson. I'm feeling a might peckish.
Mind if I chew your ear?"
"Dad, you killed the zombie Flanders!"
"He was a zombie?"
Mind if I chew your ear?"
"Dad, you killed the zombie Flanders!"
"He was a zombie?"
October 23, 2025 at 7:01 PM
"Hey, Simpson. I'm feeling a might peckish.
Mind if I chew your ear?"
"Dad, you killed the zombie Flanders!"
"He was a zombie?"
Mind if I chew your ear?"
"Dad, you killed the zombie Flanders!"
"He was a zombie?"