SimpsonsQOTD
@simpsonsqotd.bsky.social
Ah! I love these lazy Saturdays.
Pinned
"The floor feels a little gritty here."
"Yeah. We ran out of floorboards there
so we painted the dirt. Pretty clever!"
"Yeah. We ran out of floorboards there
so we painted the dirt. Pretty clever!"
January 29, 2026 at 7:02 PM
"The floor feels a little gritty here."
"Yeah. We ran out of floorboards there
so we painted the dirt. Pretty clever!"
"Yeah. We ran out of floorboards there
so we painted the dirt. Pretty clever!"
"Ah! I love these lazy saturdays."
"It's wednesday, Homer."
"WORK!"
"It's wednesday, Homer."
"WORK!"
January 28, 2026 at 7:01 PM
"Ah! I love these lazy saturdays."
"It's wednesday, Homer."
"WORK!"
"It's wednesday, Homer."
"WORK!"
"Hey, hey ya there, Midge.
Oh, gee, I like what you done to your hair."
"You caught me at a real bad time, Moe.
I hope you understand I'm too tense
to pretend I like you."
Oh, gee, I like what you done to your hair."
"You caught me at a real bad time, Moe.
I hope you understand I'm too tense
to pretend I like you."
January 27, 2026 at 7:03 PM
"Hey, hey ya there, Midge.
Oh, gee, I like what you done to your hair."
"You caught me at a real bad time, Moe.
I hope you understand I'm too tense
to pretend I like you."
Oh, gee, I like what you done to your hair."
"You caught me at a real bad time, Moe.
I hope you understand I'm too tense
to pretend I like you."
"D'oh! The bee bit my bottom!
Now my bottom's big!"
Now my bottom's big!"
January 26, 2026 at 7:02 PM
"D'oh! The bee bit my bottom!
Now my bottom's big!"
Now my bottom's big!"
"Ah, I'm just a big, toasty cinnamon bun."
January 25, 2026 at 7:00 PM
"Ah, I'm just a big, toasty cinnamon bun."
"Old man winter!"
"That's right.
I fill your driveways with ice and snow.
What are you going to do about it?
Nothing, that's what."
"Stop! Get out, you lousy... season."
"That's right.
I fill your driveways with ice and snow.
What are you going to do about it?
Nothing, that's what."
"Stop! Get out, you lousy... season."
January 24, 2026 at 7:00 PM
"Old man winter!"
"That's right.
I fill your driveways with ice and snow.
What are you going to do about it?
Nothing, that's what."
"Stop! Get out, you lousy... season."
"That's right.
I fill your driveways with ice and snow.
What are you going to do about it?
Nothing, that's what."
"Stop! Get out, you lousy... season."
"Smithers, where's that union representative?
He's 20 minutes late."
"I don't know, Sir. He hasn't been seen
since he promised to clean up the union."
He's 20 minutes late."
"I don't know, Sir. He hasn't been seen
since he promised to clean up the union."
January 23, 2026 at 7:01 PM
"Smithers, where's that union representative?
He's 20 minutes late."
"I don't know, Sir. He hasn't been seen
since he promised to clean up the union."
He's 20 minutes late."
"I don't know, Sir. He hasn't been seen
since he promised to clean up the union."
"You are... in grave danger!"
January 21, 2026 at 7:01 PM
"You are... in grave danger!"
"Am I so out of touch?
No. It's the children who are wrong."
No. It's the children who are wrong."
January 20, 2026 at 7:00 PM
"Am I so out of touch?
No. It's the children who are wrong."
No. It's the children who are wrong."
"Yeah, Moe, that team
sure did suck last night.
They just plain sucked!
I've seen teams suck before
but they were the suckiest bunch
of sucks that ever sucked."
sure did suck last night.
They just plain sucked!
I've seen teams suck before
but they were the suckiest bunch
of sucks that ever sucked."
January 19, 2026 at 7:02 PM
"Yeah, Moe, that team
sure did suck last night.
They just plain sucked!
I've seen teams suck before
but they were the suckiest bunch
of sucks that ever sucked."
sure did suck last night.
They just plain sucked!
I've seen teams suck before
but they were the suckiest bunch
of sucks that ever sucked."
"Are you squandering the precious
gift of life In front of the idiot box?
Are you on your third beer
Of the evening?"
"Does whiskey count as beer?"
"Maybe its time you joined the
exciting field of monorail conducting
by enrolling at the Lanley Institute."
"Marge I want to be a monorail conductor"
gift of life In front of the idiot box?
Are you on your third beer
Of the evening?"
"Does whiskey count as beer?"
"Maybe its time you joined the
exciting field of monorail conducting
by enrolling at the Lanley Institute."
"Marge I want to be a monorail conductor"
January 18, 2026 at 7:02 PM
"Are you squandering the precious
gift of life In front of the idiot box?
Are you on your third beer
Of the evening?"
"Does whiskey count as beer?"
"Maybe its time you joined the
exciting field of monorail conducting
by enrolling at the Lanley Institute."
"Marge I want to be a monorail conductor"
gift of life In front of the idiot box?
Are you on your third beer
Of the evening?"
"Does whiskey count as beer?"
"Maybe its time you joined the
exciting field of monorail conducting
by enrolling at the Lanley Institute."
"Marge I want to be a monorail conductor"
"Hey, Burnsie!
This was some swell shindig.
Thank you very much. I had a great time.
I just want to shake your hand.
You're the greatest."
"Smithers, help!"
This was some swell shindig.
Thank you very much. I had a great time.
I just want to shake your hand.
You're the greatest."
"Smithers, help!"
January 17, 2026 at 7:00 PM
"Hey, Burnsie!
This was some swell shindig.
Thank you very much. I had a great time.
I just want to shake your hand.
You're the greatest."
"Smithers, help!"
This was some swell shindig.
Thank you very much. I had a great time.
I just want to shake your hand.
You're the greatest."
"Smithers, help!"
"You have 24 hours to live."
"24 hours!'
"Well, 22. I'm sorry I kept you waiting so long."
"24 hours!'
"Well, 22. I'm sorry I kept you waiting so long."
January 16, 2026 at 7:01 PM
"You have 24 hours to live."
"24 hours!'
"Well, 22. I'm sorry I kept you waiting so long."
"24 hours!'
"Well, 22. I'm sorry I kept you waiting so long."
"My name is Hans.
Drinking has ruined my life.
I'm 31 years old."
Drinking has ruined my life.
I'm 31 years old."
January 15, 2026 at 7:02 PM
"My name is Hans.
Drinking has ruined my life.
I'm 31 years old."
Drinking has ruined my life.
I'm 31 years old."
"Marge, we need to talk. You're spending too much
time at the casino, and I think you may have a problem."
"I won $60 last night."
"Whoo-hoo! Problem solved!"
time at the casino, and I think you may have a problem."
"I won $60 last night."
"Whoo-hoo! Problem solved!"
January 14, 2026 at 7:02 PM
"Marge, we need to talk. You're spending too much
time at the casino, and I think you may have a problem."
"I won $60 last night."
"Whoo-hoo! Problem solved!"
time at the casino, and I think you may have a problem."
"I won $60 last night."
"Whoo-hoo! Problem solved!"
"Something wrong, officer?"
"Yeah, got a taillight out."
"Where?"
"Right there."
"One day honest citizens are going
to stand up to you crooked cops."
"They are? Oh, no.
Have they set a date?"
"Yeah, got a taillight out."
"Where?"
"Right there."
"One day honest citizens are going
to stand up to you crooked cops."
"They are? Oh, no.
Have they set a date?"
January 13, 2026 at 7:01 PM
"Something wrong, officer?"
"Yeah, got a taillight out."
"Where?"
"Right there."
"One day honest citizens are going
to stand up to you crooked cops."
"They are? Oh, no.
Have they set a date?"
"Yeah, got a taillight out."
"Where?"
"Right there."
"One day honest citizens are going
to stand up to you crooked cops."
"They are? Oh, no.
Have they set a date?"
"I got pictures of you, Quimby."
"You don't scare me. That could be anyone's ass."
"You don't scare me. That could be anyone's ass."
January 12, 2026 at 7:01 PM
"I got pictures of you, Quimby."
"You don't scare me. That could be anyone's ass."
"You don't scare me. That could be anyone's ass."
"Sorry, M.B., but I'm having trouble with this character.
Is he supposed to have some kind of neurological
impairment, like Rain Man or Awakenings?
I mean, what the hell am I doing here?"
Is he supposed to have some kind of neurological
impairment, like Rain Man or Awakenings?
I mean, what the hell am I doing here?"
January 11, 2026 at 7:00 PM
"Sorry, M.B., but I'm having trouble with this character.
Is he supposed to have some kind of neurological
impairment, like Rain Man or Awakenings?
I mean, what the hell am I doing here?"
Is he supposed to have some kind of neurological
impairment, like Rain Man or Awakenings?
I mean, what the hell am I doing here?"
"Mattingly!
I thought I told you to trim those sideburns!
Go home! You're off the team!
For good!"
I thought I told you to trim those sideburns!
Go home! You're off the team!
For good!"
January 10, 2026 at 7:01 PM
"Mattingly!
I thought I told you to trim those sideburns!
Go home! You're off the team!
For good!"
I thought I told you to trim those sideburns!
Go home! You're off the team!
For good!"
"I don't think we're talking about love here.
We're talking about s-e-x
in front of the c-h-I-l-d-r-e-n."
"Sex cauldron?
I thought they closed that place down."
We're talking about s-e-x
in front of the c-h-I-l-d-r-e-n."
"Sex cauldron?
I thought they closed that place down."
January 9, 2026 at 7:02 PM
"I don't think we're talking about love here.
We're talking about s-e-x
in front of the c-h-I-l-d-r-e-n."
"Sex cauldron?
I thought they closed that place down."
We're talking about s-e-x
in front of the c-h-I-l-d-r-e-n."
"Sex cauldron?
I thought they closed that place down."
"Y'ello? You'll have to speak up.
I'm wearing a towel."
I'm wearing a towel."
January 8, 2026 at 7:03 PM
"Y'ello? You'll have to speak up.
I'm wearing a towel."
I'm wearing a towel."
"Ooh, January 1.
Better get going on those taxes, Neddy."
Better get going on those taxes, Neddy."
January 1, 2026 at 4:59 AM
"Ooh, January 1.
Better get going on those taxes, Neddy."
Better get going on those taxes, Neddy."
"Oh, will this horrible year never end?"
January 1, 2026 at 12:02 AM
"Oh, will this horrible year never end?"
"Welcome to T.G.I. McScratchy's
where it's constantly New Year's Eve."
"It must be wonderful to ring in
the new year over and over and over."
"Please, kill me."
where it's constantly New Year's Eve."
"It must be wonderful to ring in
the new year over and over and over."
"Please, kill me."
December 31, 2025 at 4:34 PM
"Welcome to T.G.I. McScratchy's
where it's constantly New Year's Eve."
"It must be wonderful to ring in
the new year over and over and over."
"Please, kill me."
where it's constantly New Year's Eve."
"It must be wonderful to ring in
the new year over and over and over."
"Please, kill me."