Simon
@sillygoosesimon.bsky.social
The silliest goose in all of Chicago. 🏳️⚧️
I wish I had someone to talk too much to about the #WNBAplayoffs because I'm going crazy by myself over here
September 27, 2025 at 12:16 AM
I wish I had someone to talk too much to about the #WNBAplayoffs because I'm going crazy by myself over here
Do you think we will start to see a lot of babies born in 2025 with names like Magan or Maggae because their parents are dumb?
September 9, 2025 at 2:37 AM
Do you think we will start to see a lot of babies born in 2025 with names like Magan or Maggae because their parents are dumb?
RubHub is both a terrible typo, but a compelling business idea.
August 1, 2025 at 2:51 AM
RubHub is both a terrible typo, but a compelling business idea.
the worst part about this whole CEO cheating at a Coldplay concert is that now Coldplay will be relevant again.
July 18, 2025 at 2:50 PM
the worst part about this whole CEO cheating at a Coldplay concert is that now Coldplay will be relevant again.
It's me, the Boss of AT&T.
June 30, 2025 at 10:21 PM
It's me, the Boss of AT&T.
Idk what Mike is up to, but I just can't get my lemonade hard.
June 29, 2025 at 12:25 AM
Idk what Mike is up to, but I just can't get my lemonade hard.
Everyone is always like "sweet dreams!" But what if you prefer savory dreams?
June 28, 2025 at 3:23 PM
Everyone is always like "sweet dreams!" But what if you prefer savory dreams?
If it's as cold as a witches tit, when it's hot, is it as hot as a warlocks ballsack?
June 26, 2025 at 3:04 PM
If it's as cold as a witches tit, when it's hot, is it as hot as a warlocks ballsack?
Fashion is only for people who aren't absurdly sweaty
June 15, 2025 at 2:59 PM
Fashion is only for people who aren't absurdly sweaty
Why did the Hawaiian Rolls get arrested?
For in-slider trading.
For in-slider trading.
May 28, 2025 at 8:27 PM
Why did the Hawaiian Rolls get arrested?
For in-slider trading.
For in-slider trading.
If the new Pope is from Chicago, I bet he used to do improv.
He's gonna be at the Vatican playing Scenes From a Zucchetto.
He's gonna be at the Vatican playing Scenes From a Zucchetto.
May 8, 2025 at 9:13 PM
If the new Pope is from Chicago, I bet he used to do improv.
He's gonna be at the Vatican playing Scenes From a Zucchetto.
He's gonna be at the Vatican playing Scenes From a Zucchetto.
Can't believe we have to wait 48 hours for Pope pizza, what is the discount for it taking longer than 30 minutes?
May 7, 2025 at 5:34 PM
Can't believe we have to wait 48 hours for Pope pizza, what is the discount for it taking longer than 30 minutes?
Screw going to the gym, I got a 1cm skin tag removed from my leg. I'm beach body ready.
May 2, 2025 at 3:23 PM
Screw going to the gym, I got a 1cm skin tag removed from my leg. I'm beach body ready.
When I feel like overindulging I go to the Old Country Warren Buffett
April 26, 2025 at 4:47 PM
When I feel like overindulging I go to the Old Country Warren Buffett
This'll be the 4th Pope reboot during my lifetime. These sequels are getting out of hand.
April 21, 2025 at 6:13 PM
This'll be the 4th Pope reboot during my lifetime. These sequels are getting out of hand.
Tbh, describing someone as "having risen" is a real good way of saying they got high as balls.
April 20, 2025 at 5:19 PM
Tbh, describing someone as "having risen" is a real good way of saying they got high as balls.
Pfft, it'll be a good Friday when it's 5:01pm, not a moment before.
April 18, 2025 at 5:05 PM
Pfft, it'll be a good Friday when it's 5:01pm, not a moment before.
Babies are always like "goo goo gaga" but babies in New York are like "ayyy I'm a baby here! Googoo gabagool"
April 16, 2025 at 8:55 PM
Babies are always like "goo goo gaga" but babies in New York are like "ayyy I'm a baby here! Googoo gabagool"
TIL that there's a big difference between "she plays along with my stupid bits during the course of my doctor visit" and more simply saying "she plays with my bits"
April 4, 2025 at 6:08 PM
TIL that there's a big difference between "she plays along with my stupid bits during the course of my doctor visit" and more simply saying "she plays with my bits"
Why does every Prius sound like it's barely hanging on?
March 29, 2025 at 10:00 PM
Why does every Prius sound like it's barely hanging on?
Does the JD in JD Vance stand for Jiant Dickhead?
March 6, 2025 at 1:44 AM
Does the JD in JD Vance stand for Jiant Dickhead?
Let's say you're someone who is a little stupid but interested in trying 3D printing.
What type would you suggest for your sort of dumb but curious friend? (It's me)
What type would you suggest for your sort of dumb but curious friend? (It's me)
March 5, 2025 at 6:55 PM
Let's say you're someone who is a little stupid but interested in trying 3D printing.
What type would you suggest for your sort of dumb but curious friend? (It's me)
What type would you suggest for your sort of dumb but curious friend? (It's me)
Just starting #thetraitor and my favorite part is how they say MARDARED
March 2, 2025 at 2:47 AM
Just starting #thetraitor and my favorite part is how they say MARDARED
If you're wondering who the crazy white person is wearing shorts today in Chicago because it's 50⁰ out, hi. It's me. I'm the crazy white person.
February 24, 2025 at 7:07 PM
If you're wondering who the crazy white person is wearing shorts today in Chicago because it's 50⁰ out, hi. It's me. I'm the crazy white person.