Piano man is an interesting song because it’s a guy playing piano while singing about another guy playing piano while singing whose next to a guy fucking a mixed drink
June 30, 2025 at 3:03 PM
Piano man is an interesting song because it’s a guy playing piano while singing about another guy playing piano while singing whose next to a guy fucking a mixed drink
Sorry cubs fans, it’ll probably be another 108 years before you win the pappalcy
May 11, 2025 at 12:22 AM
Sorry cubs fans, it’ll probably be another 108 years before you win the pappalcy
I pray this is the first pope to call someone a jagoff
May 8, 2025 at 6:31 PM
I pray this is the first pope to call someone a jagoff
Lobotomize Kennedys again
February 19, 2025 at 4:56 PM
Lobotomize Kennedys again
If he spent 1 million dollars every day, it would take Elon 1,080 years to deplete his net worth
February 16, 2025 at 1:47 PM
If he spent 1 million dollars every day, it would take Elon 1,080 years to deplete his net worth
If I went to a doctor and he told me “ooh ee ooh ah ah ting tang walla walla bing bang” I’d simply get a second opinion
February 10, 2025 at 2:30 PM
If I went to a doctor and he told me “ooh ee ooh ah ah ting tang walla walla bing bang” I’d simply get a second opinion
Being sick back in the day was wild you’d go see a doctor and they’d be like “hmm, you have a fever of 99, drink this bottle of whiskey while I slice your arm open”
January 24, 2025 at 8:24 PM
Being sick back in the day was wild you’d go see a doctor and they’d be like “hmm, you have a fever of 99, drink this bottle of whiskey while I slice your arm open”
Sorry for being an ENTREPRENEUR. I sell Merkins for proposals that take place at chick-fil-a
January 17, 2025 at 1:12 AM
Sorry for being an ENTREPRENEUR. I sell Merkins for proposals that take place at chick-fil-a
Don’t dip your pen in company ink? What am I supposed to supply my own ink? Do I have to pay for it or do I need to expanse it? Ya know what fuck corporate Amer-
January 16, 2025 at 3:52 PM
Don’t dip your pen in company ink? What am I supposed to supply my own ink? Do I have to pay for it or do I need to expanse it? Ya know what fuck corporate Amer-
My grandpa is going Kony 2012 on peanut brittle at my cousin Ray’s bachelor party
January 12, 2025 at 3:31 AM
My grandpa is going Kony 2012 on peanut brittle at my cousin Ray’s bachelor party
Just got word from the target CFO that jelly roll is a Manchurian candidate, set to take out anyone who doesn’t own a manscaper
January 8, 2025 at 6:38 PM
Just got word from the target CFO that jelly roll is a Manchurian candidate, set to take out anyone who doesn’t own a manscaper
Writing my senator demanding he tell me the military’s intentions with Grimace
January 5, 2025 at 9:51 AM
Writing my senator demanding he tell me the military’s intentions with Grimace
Being a priest so I can bababooie bomb all the sinners
January 3, 2025 at 6:54 PM
Being a priest so I can bababooie bomb all the sinners
You wouldn’t marg a ritaville
December 25, 2024 at 10:03 PM
You wouldn’t marg a ritaville
My dog is a machine that turns anything on the ground into liquid shit
December 25, 2024 at 10:03 PM
My dog is a machine that turns anything on the ground into liquid shit
Will I understand hawk tuah if I haven’t seen hawk one?
December 24, 2024 at 10:40 PM
Will I understand hawk tuah if I haven’t seen hawk one?
Me and my 4 cousins named Ray are about to go Kony 2012 on this cybertruck
December 24, 2024 at 2:29 AM
Me and my 4 cousins named Ray are about to go Kony 2012 on this cybertruck
No one:
The McAllister family watching fuller drink a Pepsi: “uh oh someone’s gonna flood the whole house with pee. Kevin it’s about to be piss town, population you!”
The McAllister family watching fuller drink a Pepsi: “uh oh someone’s gonna flood the whole house with pee. Kevin it’s about to be piss town, population you!”
December 23, 2024 at 2:54 PM
No one:
The McAllister family watching fuller drink a Pepsi: “uh oh someone’s gonna flood the whole house with pee. Kevin it’s about to be piss town, population you!”
The McAllister family watching fuller drink a Pepsi: “uh oh someone’s gonna flood the whole house with pee. Kevin it’s about to be piss town, population you!”
Can’t believe he liked Beetlejuice Beetlejuice this much
December 21, 2024 at 3:23 PM
Can’t believe he liked Beetlejuice Beetlejuice this much
My tag team duo: raw dog and billy bass will be wrestling tomorrow morning at 4AM at the GNC we both got fired from last week for playing air guitar too loud
December 21, 2024 at 1:49 AM
My tag team duo: raw dog and billy bass will be wrestling tomorrow morning at 4AM at the GNC we both got fired from last week for playing air guitar too loud
Oh sorry I didn’t realize those were load bearing balls
December 20, 2024 at 11:19 PM
Oh sorry I didn’t realize those were load bearing balls
Dug yourself out of a hole? Hey dumbass that’s not how holes work!!! Stupid moron good lord
December 19, 2024 at 1:30 PM
Dug yourself out of a hole? Hey dumbass that’s not how holes work!!! Stupid moron good lord
Is there a Mrs Skin?
December 18, 2024 at 1:38 PM
Is there a Mrs Skin?
Rip RFK you would have hated RFK Jr
December 18, 2024 at 1:22 PM
Rip RFK you would have hated RFK Jr
It’s only called bang bus because Weiner mobile was already taken
December 17, 2024 at 12:22 PM
It’s only called bang bus because Weiner mobile was already taken