It’s like my grandma used to always say, “The louder the exhaust, the smaller the penis.” #FastandFurious

If being in space for three minutes makes you an astronaut, then I’m a gynecologist. #BlueHorizon

Punxatawny Phil saw his shadow. Six more weeks of winter. Here on the west coast, Tarzana Tom saw his shadow. Six more weeks of traffic. #GroundhogDay

Blue Sky, aka Canadian Twitter, is a great place to recycle my 2009 jokes to a new audience. #ClarkTheShark #Canada