Some dork
@sf49.bsky.social
I am the son and heir of nothing in particular.
Pinned
Some dork
@sf49.bsky.social
· Nov 19
Me: Is he friendly? Does he bite? Can I pet him?
Her: leave my baby alone.
Her: leave my baby alone.
Pronouncing "Bluesky" like "Brewski."
November 27, 2025 at 2:25 AM
Pronouncing "Bluesky" like "Brewski."
A classical musician named Phil Harmonic
November 11, 2025 at 2:46 AM
A classical musician named Phil Harmonic
I put on my pants the same way as everybody else.
Being ordered to by a policeman.
Being ordered to by a policeman.
August 29, 2025 at 8:01 PM
I put on my pants the same way as everybody else.
Being ordered to by a policeman.
Being ordered to by a policeman.
Everyone you know was once a stranger.
Then things got ruined.
Then things got ruined.
August 29, 2025 at 7:58 PM
Everyone you know was once a stranger.
Then things got ruined.
Then things got ruined.
I kissed a girl and I liked it.
She emphatically did not.
She emphatically did not.
July 14, 2025 at 9:14 PM
I kissed a girl and I liked it.
She emphatically did not.
She emphatically did not.
A good stage name for a rock n roll musician would be Adam Baum.
July 14, 2025 at 9:10 PM
A good stage name for a rock n roll musician would be Adam Baum.
The most fearsome predator in the sea is karate shark, the shark who knows karate.
July 8, 2025 at 6:24 PM
The most fearsome predator in the sea is karate shark, the shark who knows karate.
Gaining our independence from England was the worst mistake we ever made.
We could have had health care, gun control and cool accents.
We could have had health care, gun control and cool accents.
July 4, 2025 at 5:58 PM
Gaining our independence from England was the worst mistake we ever made.
We could have had health care, gun control and cool accents.
We could have had health care, gun control and cool accents.
Well, I'm no mathematician but something doesn't add up here.
June 9, 2025 at 6:11 PM
Well, I'm no mathematician but something doesn't add up here.
A vampire who wears women's clothing
Dragula.
Dragula.
May 28, 2025 at 6:16 PM
A vampire who wears women's clothing
Dragula.
Dragula.
"Hmm, this burgers pretty good but it needs more bread."
--guy who invented the Big Mac
--guy who invented the Big Mac
May 26, 2025 at 5:59 PM
"Hmm, this burgers pretty good but it needs more bread."
--guy who invented the Big Mac
--guy who invented the Big Mac
*at a wine tasting *
I'm getting notes of grape with grapey undertones and hints of. . . grape?
I'm getting notes of grape with grapey undertones and hints of. . . grape?
May 21, 2025 at 5:50 PM
*at a wine tasting *
I'm getting notes of grape with grapey undertones and hints of. . . grape?
I'm getting notes of grape with grapey undertones and hints of. . . grape?
Ah. My delivery of skeets has arrived!
May 20, 2025 at 5:38 PM
Ah. My delivery of skeets has arrived!
I'm so white I celebrate Cinco de Mayonnaise
May 5, 2025 at 6:05 PM
I'm so white I celebrate Cinco de Mayonnaise
A skeleton that plays baseball
Barry Bones
Barry Bones
May 5, 2025 at 5:49 PM
A skeleton that plays baseball
Barry Bones
Barry Bones
A 1930s themed French restaurant: The Crepes of Wrath
April 23, 2025 at 5:57 PM
A 1930s themed French restaurant: The Crepes of Wrath
"I'm still New Wave," I say to myself as I slip on my polo shirt and lace up my Hokas.
April 3, 2025 at 5:51 PM
"I'm still New Wave," I say to myself as I slip on my polo shirt and lace up my Hokas.
First time attending services in a synagogue and I gotta say Shofar so good!
March 27, 2025 at 5:46 PM
First time attending services in a synagogue and I gotta say Shofar so good!
Okay. But it's kind of your only job
March 26, 2025 at 6:54 PM
Okay. But it's kind of your only job
It's important to agree with people. That way they'll stop talking.
March 24, 2025 at 5:51 PM
It's important to agree with people. That way they'll stop talking.
They say that nothing rhymes with "orange," but what about blorange?
March 11, 2025 at 6:20 PM
They say that nothing rhymes with "orange," but what about blorange?
I can't talk about basketball, I signed an NBA NDA.
March 8, 2025 at 4:07 PM
I can't talk about basketball, I signed an NBA NDA.
I'm kind of ambivalent about the environment.
I'm a tree shrugger.
I'm a tree shrugger.
February 28, 2025 at 7:10 PM
I'm kind of ambivalent about the environment.
I'm a tree shrugger.
I'm a tree shrugger.
The word "bell" has a nice ring to it.
February 24, 2025 at 6:55 PM
The word "bell" has a nice ring to it.