Pinned
Adam
@severedthumb.bsky.social
· Oct 12
When my kid was 6 he told his teacher to call him Big Casino. His teacher called and asked if we knew why. I told her to take it up with Big Casino.
My Wife: Do you want to try something a little different?
Me:
Me:
November 18, 2025 at 4:28 PM
My Wife: Do you want to try something a little different?
Me:
Me:
Why’s that Frankenstein so sexy though?
November 14, 2025 at 8:10 PM
Why’s that Frankenstein so sexy though?
Why do my guts sound like a velociraptor?
October 20, 2025 at 9:32 PM
Why do my guts sound like a velociraptor?
This is my favorite glory hole in October
October 4, 2025 at 5:09 AM
This is my favorite glory hole in October
Oh yeah?! Well what if I Gregorian chant about it?!
October 2, 2025 at 5:54 PM
Oh yeah?! Well what if I Gregorian chant about it?!
Crazy day at the beach; My son found a still working lighter in the surf, Some very energetic women stopped on the beach to take pic for us, we bumped into those women in the next town down the coast, one was trying to light a cigarette, my son pulled the lighter out to help, it was her lighter.
September 23, 2025 at 2:52 AM
Crazy day at the beach; My son found a still working lighter in the surf, Some very energetic women stopped on the beach to take pic for us, we bumped into those women in the next town down the coast, one was trying to light a cigarette, my son pulled the lighter out to help, it was her lighter.
My wife made me a tomato snack
September 21, 2025 at 9:35 PM
My wife made me a tomato snack
Robert Redford was the Paul Newman of Keanu Reeves
RIP
RIP
September 17, 2025 at 1:54 AM
Robert Redford was the Paul Newman of Keanu Reeves
RIP
RIP
I miss the simpler times, when we all just piled on kanye
September 7, 2025 at 1:43 AM
I miss the simpler times, when we all just piled on kanye
I don’t believe him
Trump says social media conspiracies about his death were wrong
President Donald Trump says social media conspiracies over his death were wrong. Asked if he had seen posts indicating he was no longer living, the president initially said "Really?
apnews.com
September 3, 2025 at 2:27 AM
I don’t believe him
Me, trying to be funny as the plane crashes: and what is up with airline food?
September 2, 2025 at 1:20 AM
Me, trying to be funny as the plane crashes: and what is up with airline food?
I now remember why I don’t eat chipotle anymore
August 25, 2025 at 9:24 PM
I now remember why I don’t eat chipotle anymore
Gone too late
apnews.com/article/jame... James Dobson, Focus on the Family founder and key leader on the Christian right, dies at 89
apnews.com/article/jame... James Dobson, Focus on the Family founder and key leader on the Christian right, dies at 89
James Dobson, Focus on the Family founder and key leader on the Christian right, dies at 89
James Dobson, a child psychologist who founded the conservative ministry Focus on the Family and was a politically influential campaigner against abortion and LGBTQ+ rights, has died at age 89.
apnews.com
August 22, 2025 at 3:55 AM
Gone too late
apnews.com/article/jame... James Dobson, Focus on the Family founder and key leader on the Christian right, dies at 89
apnews.com/article/jame... James Dobson, Focus on the Family founder and key leader on the Christian right, dies at 89
Hey gardeners, why so many zucchini?
August 20, 2025 at 7:02 AM
Hey gardeners, why so many zucchini?
Me, living like a caveman:….and that’s the diet I eat, just like cavemen did
My guest: that still doesn’t explain these dildos carved from stone
My guest: that still doesn’t explain these dildos carved from stone
August 10, 2025 at 1:47 AM
Me, living like a caveman:….and that’s the diet I eat, just like cavemen did
My guest: that still doesn’t explain these dildos carved from stone
My guest: that still doesn’t explain these dildos carved from stone
*Forces my cat to drop a chipmunk* extreme Gandalf voice: RUN YOU FOOL! *Chipmunk sits there pretending to be invisible*
July 31, 2025 at 12:12 PM
*Forces my cat to drop a chipmunk* extreme Gandalf voice: RUN YOU FOOL! *Chipmunk sits there pretending to be invisible*
An MLM scheme but it’s just me getting my back scratched without having to return the favor
July 26, 2025 at 6:23 AM
An MLM scheme but it’s just me getting my back scratched without having to return the favor
Trader Joe’s founders real name is Tradermelius Josephelston
July 25, 2025 at 3:32 PM
Trader Joe’s founders real name is Tradermelius Josephelston
How did I simultaneously know and not know that slapping was a televised sport?
www.tiktok.com/t/ZT6hYc7LQ/
www.tiktok.com/t/ZT6hYc7LQ/
A monster KO to keep his unbeaten streak alive 💪 What's next for @mr.makini.manu in the super heavyweight division? [ Rewatch all the action from $VET #PowerSlap14 NOW on YouTube ]
TikTok video by Power Slap
www.tiktok.com
July 25, 2025 at 3:29 PM
How did I simultaneously know and not know that slapping was a televised sport?
www.tiktok.com/t/ZT6hYc7LQ/
www.tiktok.com/t/ZT6hYc7LQ/
Now Hulk Hogan? The universe is fucking with us, just do it already
July 24, 2025 at 5:26 PM
Now Hulk Hogan? The universe is fucking with us, just do it already
*see something, say something* Me: Officer, I was looking in a mirror and saw this Thicc Ass!
July 23, 2025 at 11:38 PM
*see something, say something* Me: Officer, I was looking in a mirror and saw this Thicc Ass!
Fuckin’ Amish porn star
July 16, 2025 at 8:15 PM
Fuckin’ Amish porn star