Schaffer the Darklord
@schafferthedark.bsky.social
I am the rapper known as Schaffer the Darklord. For booking inquiries, please contact schafferthedarklord@gmail.com
Pinned
Get more from Schaffer the Darklord on Patreon
creating music and other nonsense
www.patreon.com
Subscribe to my Patreon at www.patreon.com/schafferthed... and get exclusive monthly tracks, remix kits, behind-the-scenes videos, unreleased cover songs, photo sets, access to streaming concerts and much more!
Happy anniversary of “Trump told them to go peacefully but he pardoned everyone who disobeyed but people strolling through the Capitol isn’t a riot but FBI instigators started the riots but he’s a strong commander-in-chief but Speaker Pelosi didn’t deploy the National Guard” to those who celebrate.
January 6, 2026 at 1:14 PM
Happy anniversary of “Trump told them to go peacefully but he pardoned everyone who disobeyed but people strolling through the Capitol isn’t a riot but FBI instigators started the riots but he’s a strong commander-in-chief but Speaker Pelosi didn’t deploy the National Guard” to those who celebrate.
“This is it. This is what you’ve trained for all year. New Year’s Eve. The BIG DANCE. You got this. We all believe in you.”
-a coke dealer’s coach
-a coke dealer’s coach
January 1, 2026 at 4:21 AM
“This is it. This is what you’ve trained for all year. New Year’s Eve. The BIG DANCE. You got this. We all believe in you.”
-a coke dealer’s coach
-a coke dealer’s coach
Watch me play along with a drum-less mix of the Jackson 5's "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town." Recommended for anyone who delights in children terrified of Santa. youtu.be/105hceHkw0k?...
STD Plays Drums: Santa Claus is Coming to Town
YouTube video by Schaffer The Darklord
youtu.be
December 24, 2025 at 4:45 PM
Watch me play along with a drum-less mix of the Jackson 5's "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town." Recommended for anyone who delights in children terrified of Santa. youtu.be/105hceHkw0k?...
Yesterday I dropped an album called "Holiday Favorites for the Whole Family," which collects 8 of the holiday songs I've created over the past 13 years. One is House Tickle Pfeiffer. youtu.be/M7z6Y7yWsHU?...
Grab the album here: schafferthedarklord.bandcamp.com
Grab the album here: schafferthedarklord.bandcamp.com
Schaffer the Darklord - House Tickle Pfeiffer
YouTube video by Schaffer The Darklord
youtu.be
December 19, 2025 at 6:25 PM
Yesterday I dropped an album called "Holiday Favorites for the Whole Family," which collects 8 of the holiday songs I've created over the past 13 years. One is House Tickle Pfeiffer. youtu.be/M7z6Y7yWsHU?...
Grab the album here: schafferthedarklord.bandcamp.com
Grab the album here: schafferthedarklord.bandcamp.com
Today I dropped an album called "Holiday Favorites for the Whole Family," which collects 8 of the holiday songs I've created over the past 13 years. One is Hail Santa. www.youtube.com/watch?v=FRPC...
Grab the album here: schafferthedarklord.bandcamp.com
Grab the album here: schafferthedarklord.bandcamp.com
Schaffer the Darklord - Hail Santa
YouTube video by Schaffer The Darklord
www.youtube.com
December 18, 2025 at 6:11 PM
Today I dropped an album called "Holiday Favorites for the Whole Family," which collects 8 of the holiday songs I've created over the past 13 years. One is Hail Santa. www.youtube.com/watch?v=FRPC...
Grab the album here: schafferthedarklord.bandcamp.com
Grab the album here: schafferthedarklord.bandcamp.com
With just 1 week left 'til Xmas, I've got something to help you survive the Whamageddon homestretch. "Holiday Favorites for the Whole Family" collects 6 of my seasonal songs (plus 2 unreleased tracks) in one convenient playlist to terrorize your family.
schafferthedarklord.bandcamp.com
schafferthedarklord.bandcamp.com
December 18, 2025 at 12:43 PM
With just 1 week left 'til Xmas, I've got something to help you survive the Whamageddon homestretch. "Holiday Favorites for the Whole Family" collects 6 of my seasonal songs (plus 2 unreleased tracks) in one convenient playlist to terrorize your family.
schafferthedarklord.bandcamp.com
schafferthedarklord.bandcamp.com
The new episode of "Collect All 79" takes a look at the vintage Kenner AT-AT! Please subscribe, nerds! #starwars #kenner #toycollecting
www.youtube.com/watch?v=tdL1...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=tdL1...
Collect All 79 - Ep8 | Kenner Imperial AT-AT Vintage Star Wars Figures
YouTube video by Schaffer The Darklord
www.youtube.com
December 15, 2025 at 4:25 PM
The new episode of "Collect All 79" takes a look at the vintage Kenner AT-AT! Please subscribe, nerds! #starwars #kenner #toycollecting
www.youtube.com/watch?v=tdL1...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=tdL1...
Junk Drawer Part 4 is here! This latest installment in my series of b-side compilations includes 17 previously unreleased original tracks & cover songs. ALSO! Today is Bandcamp Friday, so please download this sexy collection now. Thank you, friends.
schafferthedarklord.bandcamp.com/album/junk-d...
schafferthedarklord.bandcamp.com/album/junk-d...
December 5, 2025 at 1:13 PM
Junk Drawer Part 4 is here! This latest installment in my series of b-side compilations includes 17 previously unreleased original tracks & cover songs. ALSO! Today is Bandcamp Friday, so please download this sexy collection now. Thank you, friends.
schafferthedarklord.bandcamp.com/album/junk-d...
schafferthedarklord.bandcamp.com/album/junk-d...
Happy birthday, @mc.frontalot.com! I'm gonna mail you all the Star Wars toys I stole from your mom's house.
December 3, 2025 at 5:51 PM
Happy birthday, @mc.frontalot.com! I'm gonna mail you all the Star Wars toys I stole from your mom's house.
Over the years, I've released 3 albums in a series called "Junk Drawer." These Bandcamp exclusives are collections of unreleased tracks: remixes, covers & songs w/samples I can't afford to clear for proper release. On Fri Dec 5th, I will release a 4th one.
schafferthedarklord.bandcamp.com
schafferthedarklord.bandcamp.com
December 1, 2025 at 5:21 PM
Over the years, I've released 3 albums in a series called "Junk Drawer." These Bandcamp exclusives are collections of unreleased tracks: remixes, covers & songs w/samples I can't afford to clear for proper release. On Fri Dec 5th, I will release a 4th one.
schafferthedarklord.bandcamp.com
schafferthedarklord.bandcamp.com
Nov 2025 Patreon content is up! This month includes:
new Department of Darkness track "Headphones" w/instro/acapella/lyrics, STD SHW ep68, bonus cover of Beastie Boys' "Professor Booty," photo set of Kenner SW collection updates & more! Sign up today at patreon.com/schafferthedarklord
new Department of Darkness track "Headphones" w/instro/acapella/lyrics, STD SHW ep68, bonus cover of Beastie Boys' "Professor Booty," photo set of Kenner SW collection updates & more! Sign up today at patreon.com/schafferthedarklord
November 30, 2025 at 3:08 PM
Nov 2025 Patreon content is up! This month includes:
new Department of Darkness track "Headphones" w/instro/acapella/lyrics, STD SHW ep68, bonus cover of Beastie Boys' "Professor Booty," photo set of Kenner SW collection updates & more! Sign up today at patreon.com/schafferthedarklord
new Department of Darkness track "Headphones" w/instro/acapella/lyrics, STD SHW ep68, bonus cover of Beastie Boys' "Professor Booty," photo set of Kenner SW collection updates & more! Sign up today at patreon.com/schafferthedarklord
…J-D41-252-5…
November 21, 2025 at 3:23 PM
…J-D41-252-5…
Many heartfelt thanks to everybody who made this birthday special by posting comments, sharing purple pics, sending gifts, etc. Y’all really know how to make an old Darklord feel loved. #schafferday
November 17, 2025 at 4:23 PM
Many heartfelt thanks to everybody who made this birthday special by posting comments, sharing purple pics, sending gifts, etc. Y’all really know how to make an old Darklord feel loved. #schafferday
November 14th, 2025. Today is my birthday. #schafferday
If you'd like to buy me a drink...
Venmo: @markschaffer718
PayPal: paypal.me/schafferthedarklord
CashApp: $schafferthedarklord
Also, please subscribe to my Patreon…
www.patreon.com/c/schafferth...
Thank you, friends.
If you'd like to buy me a drink...
Venmo: @markschaffer718
PayPal: paypal.me/schafferthedarklord
CashApp: $schafferthedarklord
Also, please subscribe to my Patreon…
www.patreon.com/c/schafferth...
Thank you, friends.
November 14, 2025 at 2:13 PM
November 14th, 2025. Today is my birthday. #schafferday
If you'd like to buy me a drink...
Venmo: @markschaffer718
PayPal: paypal.me/schafferthedarklord
CashApp: $schafferthedarklord
Also, please subscribe to my Patreon…
www.patreon.com/c/schafferth...
Thank you, friends.
If you'd like to buy me a drink...
Venmo: @markschaffer718
PayPal: paypal.me/schafferthedarklord
CashApp: $schafferthedarklord
Also, please subscribe to my Patreon…
www.patreon.com/c/schafferth...
Thank you, friends.
My birthday is next Friday November 14th. In the interest of continuing a 14-year tradition, I again humbly ask that you indulge me and celebrate this non-holiday by posting a photo of you wearing something purple on the 14th and tagging it #schafferday Thank you.
November 7, 2025 at 1:39 PM
My birthday is next Friday November 14th. In the interest of continuing a 14-year tradition, I again humbly ask that you indulge me and celebrate this non-holiday by posting a photo of you wearing something purple on the 14th and tagging it #schafferday Thank you.
The only NYC mayor that rural MAGA shitposters have ever respected is Rudy Giuliani. He was Republican. He was Christian. He was married to his cousin.
November 6, 2025 at 4:18 PM
The only NYC mayor that rural MAGA shitposters have ever respected is Rudy Giuliani. He was Republican. He was Christian. He was married to his cousin.
Thoughts and prayers to everyone online who is furious and terrified over mayoral election results in a city they’ve never visited. 🗽❤️
November 5, 2025 at 3:04 AM
Thoughts and prayers to everyone online who is furious and terrified over mayoral election results in a city they’ve never visited. 🗽❤️
This year’s jack-o-lantern pays tribute to the one from the opening shot of my favorite horror movie: Creepshow (1982). 🎃
October 30, 2025 at 2:54 AM
This year’s jack-o-lantern pays tribute to the one from the opening shot of my favorite horror movie: Creepshow (1982). 🎃
This month I've replayed Resident Evil VII, Resident Evil: Village & the remake of Silent Hill 2 which reminds me that last year I released a song about these things. This holiday season, please revisit my music video for "Every Survival Horror Game." youtu.be/mpmYAdXkchc?...
Schaffer The Darklord - Every Survival Horror Game (Official Music Video)
YouTube video by Schaffer The Darklord
youtu.be
October 29, 2025 at 2:17 PM
This month I've replayed Resident Evil VII, Resident Evil: Village & the remake of Silent Hill 2 which reminds me that last year I released a song about these things. This holiday season, please revisit my music video for "Every Survival Horror Game." youtu.be/mpmYAdXkchc?...
I’ve done lots of weird stuff this month. (Naturally. It’s Halloween, I’ve been busy with the #Bunnys31DaysofHalloween project, and well, I’m just generally a weird little guy.) But the weirdest thing I’ve done this month is creating a silicone crucifix. Happy Halloween, creeps.
October 28, 2025 at 10:30 PM
I’ve done lots of weird stuff this month. (Naturally. It’s Halloween, I’ve been busy with the #Bunnys31DaysofHalloween project, and well, I’m just generally a weird little guy.) But the weirdest thing I’ve done this month is creating a silicone crucifix. Happy Halloween, creeps.
Reposted by Schaffer the Darklord
I have a very bad feeling about this...
October 27, 2025 at 4:51 PM
I have a very bad feeling about this...
Bunny Buxom and I perform "Pumpkin" during "HORRORSHOW: A Musical Tribute to Scary Movies" in October 2024. Download the track from Bandcamp now: schafferthedarklord.bandcamp.com
vimeo.com/1124214693?s...
vimeo.com/1124214693?s...
Schaffer the Darklord - Pumpkin
Schaffer the Darklord and Bunny Buxom perform "Pumpkin" during "HORRORSHOW: A Musical Tribute to Scary Movies" in October 2024. (Features clips…
vimeo.com
October 3, 2025 at 1:55 PM
Bunny Buxom and I perform "Pumpkin" during "HORRORSHOW: A Musical Tribute to Scary Movies" in October 2024. Download the track from Bandcamp now: schafferthedarklord.bandcamp.com
vimeo.com/1124214693?s...
vimeo.com/1124214693?s...
Today is Bandcamp Friday, when the site waives its fees for artists' benefit. I've just dropped an EP of 2 love songs about paranormal beings: Pumpkin + Scary and Naked. Grab them for your Halloween playlists & maybe pick up some other stuff while you're there. schafferthedarklord.bandcamp.com
October 3, 2025 at 12:04 PM
Today is Bandcamp Friday, when the site waives its fees for artists' benefit. I've just dropped an EP of 2 love songs about paranormal beings: Pumpkin + Scary and Naked. Grab them for your Halloween playlists & maybe pick up some other stuff while you're there. schafferthedarklord.bandcamp.com
Sept 2025 Patreon content is up! This month includes new track "Scary and Naked" w/instro/acapella/lyrics, STD SHW episode 66, photo set of #bunnys31daysofhalloween, bonus cover of Misfits' "Hybrid Moments" & more! Sign up today at patreon.com/schafferthedarklord Thank you, friends.
September 30, 2025 at 1:18 PM
Sept 2025 Patreon content is up! This month includes new track "Scary and Naked" w/instro/acapella/lyrics, STD SHW episode 66, photo set of #bunnys31daysofhalloween, bonus cover of Misfits' "Hybrid Moments" & more! Sign up today at patreon.com/schafferthedarklord Thank you, friends.
Friends! Please wish a very happy birthday to this beautiful burlesque badass and bombshell embalmer, Bunny Buxom! Today is Bunny Day, and so is every other day, fools! 💜❤️
September 22, 2025 at 3:17 PM
Friends! Please wish a very happy birthday to this beautiful burlesque badass and bombshell embalmer, Bunny Buxom! Today is Bunny Day, and so is every other day, fools! 💜❤️