If we are thinking about how to defend ourselves we are probably in a form of flight/flight and will try to win/leave. We’re driving off a cliff and if no one grabs the wheel, we die. Learn to do the thing to be better (soothe your partner) rather than feel better (win)! #ans #coregulation #couples

A lot changes when you remember your partner is your teammate, not your enemy. Your pain is not their fault.