Satan Muttonchops
@satanmuttonchops.bsky.social
Insipid opinions are my currency. The Pittsburgh Pirates are the worthless bums I spend it on.
There’s no way Yahel Pozo is 201 pounds.
July 2, 2025 at 1:16 AM
There’s no way Yahel Pozo is 201 pounds.
Why do the Mets broadcast team talk to Ron Darling like he’s the Dalai Lama?
June 28, 2025 at 12:49 AM
Why do the Mets broadcast team talk to Ron Darling like he’s the Dalai Lama?
Under President AOC the Navy should name a boat after RuPaul.
June 28, 2025 at 12:12 AM
Under President AOC the Navy should name a boat after RuPaul.
I’m a socialist but I like Chuck Todd. There’s no party for me. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
June 28, 2025 at 12:09 AM
I’m a socialist but I like Chuck Todd. There’s no party for me. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Why are there grown ass men climbing the jungle gym at PNC Park?
May 24, 2025 at 1:56 AM
Why are there grown ass men climbing the jungle gym at PNC Park?
I don’t know what a pitcher win or loss really signifies and I don’t know why any fans give a shit about whether a pitcher gets a win or loss.
May 24, 2025 at 1:27 AM
I don’t know what a pitcher win or loss really signifies and I don’t know why any fans give a shit about whether a pitcher gets a win or loss.
Are we all just supposed to pretend that the digitally projected ads behind home plate merging with the players and ump in the foreground is not distracting? @mlb.com do something about this
April 27, 2025 at 2:09 AM
Are we all just supposed to pretend that the digitally projected ads behind home plate merging with the players and ump in the foreground is not distracting? @mlb.com do something about this
The Pirates are paying Tommy Pham more than five times what they’re paying Paul Skenes. Baseball is an odd sport.
April 19, 2025 at 10:06 PM
The Pirates are paying Tommy Pham more than five times what they’re paying Paul Skenes. Baseball is an odd sport.
I cannot for the life of me see what anyone sees in Kyle Nicolas.
April 19, 2025 at 12:47 AM
I cannot for the life of me see what anyone sees in Kyle Nicolas.
It’s early spring training so it’s the start of old sages lecturing young baseball fans that it doesn’t matter. “It doesn’t matter it’s just spring training” becomes “it doesn’t matter we’re 15 games in” becomes “calm down it’s June”. Baseball takes 7 months to matter whatsoever.
February 25, 2025 at 8:47 PM
It’s early spring training so it’s the start of old sages lecturing young baseball fans that it doesn’t matter. “It doesn’t matter it’s just spring training” becomes “it doesn’t matter we’re 15 games in” becomes “calm down it’s June”. Baseball takes 7 months to matter whatsoever.
Reposted by Satan Muttonchops
Almost certainly the best thing I was ever told about owls was when I met an owl handler at an owl sanctuary and he told me that the wild owls who lived near the sanctuary worried about the tame show owls there and sometimes stopped by to leave them shrews and mice as presents.
February 22, 2025 at 7:20 PM
Almost certainly the best thing I was ever told about owls was when I met an owl handler at an owl sanctuary and he told me that the wild owls who lived near the sanctuary worried about the tame show owls there and sometimes stopped by to leave them shrews and mice as presents.
What California needs to do is get rid of all this acreage. As far as I can tell, and I’m not a scientist, that is what appears to be burning.
January 23, 2025 at 6:45 AM
What California needs to do is get rid of all this acreage. As far as I can tell, and I’m not a scientist, that is what appears to be burning.
Pirates should go get Justin Turner. Platoon him with Horwitz and you’ve got a 750+ average OPS at first. Vastly superior to the Joe/Tellez platoon last year and a great guy in the clubhouse too. And he looks kinda like a Pittsburgher to boot.
December 24, 2024 at 4:14 PM
Pirates should go get Justin Turner. Platoon him with Horwitz and you’ve got a 750+ average OPS at first. Vastly superior to the Joe/Tellez platoon last year and a great guy in the clubhouse too. And he looks kinda like a Pittsburgher to boot.
I don’t really understand why baseball fans like the off-season. It’s like beer enthusiasts being really into grain futures.
December 14, 2024 at 3:58 AM
I don’t really understand why baseball fans like the off-season. It’s like beer enthusiasts being really into grain futures.
Did Carlos Santana step on Ben Cherington's dick or something?
We have acquired 1B Spencer Horwitz from the Guardians in exchange for RHP Luis Ortiz, LHP Michael Kennedy and LHP Josh Hartle.
December 11, 2024 at 4:55 AM
Did Carlos Santana step on Ben Cherington's dick or something?
Until you can look into camera shrugging, looking like a guy contesting a parking ticket in court, saying "the stuff plays", as if what you just said carries the profundity of eons, and beckons Phds to rain down from the heavens, you cannot have a baseball podcast.
December 11, 2024 at 4:53 AM
Until you can look into camera shrugging, looking like a guy contesting a parking ticket in court, saying "the stuff plays", as if what you just said carries the profundity of eons, and beckons Phds to rain down from the heavens, you cannot have a baseball podcast.
Never seen a movie set in Boston that I liked that wasn’t about pedophile priests.
December 11, 2024 at 3:01 AM
Never seen a movie set in Boston that I liked that wasn’t about pedophile priests.
Maybe the acronym should be ACAI not ACAB. They’re all fucking idiots, regardless of their dubious parentage. This cop came on CNN to say this with his own mouth.
December 7, 2024 at 4:36 PM
Maybe the acronym should be ACAI not ACAB. They’re all fucking idiots, regardless of their dubious parentage. This cop came on CNN to say this with his own mouth.
Carlos Santana 1B, Jason Heyward RF, Andrew McCutcheon DH, Alex Wood SP, Dylan Floro RP. That'll be the Pirates' free agent haul this offseason. Another year of gambling on a lot of dudes getting better. Another iffy veteran addition to the rotation. But overall this would be a step forward.
December 1, 2024 at 2:29 PM
Carlos Santana 1B, Jason Heyward RF, Andrew McCutcheon DH, Alex Wood SP, Dylan Floro RP. That'll be the Pirates' free agent haul this offseason. Another year of gambling on a lot of dudes getting better. Another iffy veteran addition to the rotation. But overall this would be a step forward.
I dunno what everyone’s worried about - the Pirates have greater starting pitching depth than the Dodgers.
November 27, 2024 at 2:10 PM
I dunno what everyone’s worried about - the Pirates have greater starting pitching depth than the Dodgers.
It annoys me that no one uses the parking brake in cars in movies. Why do you think your car rocks like that after you park it, you actor fuck? Who do you think you are? A valet at Trader Vics?
November 20, 2024 at 6:25 AM
It annoys me that no one uses the parking brake in cars in movies. Why do you think your car rocks like that after you park it, you actor fuck? Who do you think you are? A valet at Trader Vics?
Paul Skenes and Garrett Crochet are proof positive that thread based crafts are the future of baseball.
November 20, 2024 at 6:19 AM
Paul Skenes and Garrett Crochet are proof positive that thread based crafts are the future of baseball.