Having a big heart is a gift. Doesn't mean everyone deserves access to it.
Be more selective where you distribute your, time, attention and energy.

Coffee gives me the strength to screw everything up every single day.

I'm just here doing my part to keep the coffee industry financially strong.

Finally realizing that the reason why we always end up with one odd sock everytime we do laundry, is because the dryer eats the sock and barfs it in the lint trap.

Friend text....

Friend: morning... I have two problems can you talk?

Me: Have you had coffee?

Friend: No, not yet

Me: There's the first problem.
The second is that you are texting me before I've had mine.