I'm really happy that so many of my friends and at least one ex are so comfortable with me that they come to me with their emotional problems.

However, given who I am and how emotionally inept I am, I have questions. Specifically:
Why?

The sky all day: *clear and hot*
The sky when I decide to work out: TIME FOR PEE PEE!

My daughter has a former friend that I hate so much I know refer to her as "that ankle biting bitch".

Anyway, sorry mom. Sorry dad. 🤣

It is February and I am already having to fight wasps for my gym. 😡

I am once again playing "Emotional Support Dad" to a teenage child but I still have the emotional intelligence of a semi-sentient toaster.

Bruh every time I play an album for my early life the year is staring me straight in the eyes. "Oh man this album came out yesterday" .... Except that's 20 fucking years ago.

Daughter: "Dad, how do you keep up a 10+ year relationship?"

Me: By not being a dick face...

Daughter, without missing a beat: But you are a dick face.

🙃

DJT is off to a fantastic start! He's already lowering stock prices and he's not even in office yet. 🥰

American Conservatives when confronted by a minority have a very simple choice:

A: God doesn't make mistakes, accept them. 🥰

B: God doesn't make mistakes so you are an affront to God. 😡

They ALWAYS pick the wrong answer and learn the hard way.