"God made the ox to eat grass and the lion to not" which is why my toddler can bite me but not the other way around.

"The Lord gave (toddler goes to sleep at 7:30 p.m.) and the Lord hath taken away (toddler wakes up at 6:00 a.m.). Blessed be the name of the Lord"

whomst among us hasn't had a trial date creep up on them

Good morning I have listened to Annie Lennox singing The Holly and the Ivy a dozen times so far because my toddler demands only the strangest of vintages.

My toddler is going to swear some oath of eternal vengeance over this like Hannibal Barca did with Rome.

This new Canadian nationalism is playing with fire. Someone is going to ask for a "Canadiano with two shots of expresso" in Woodbridge and get reflexively murdered by a Nonno.

Going to use this platform to record all the bowdlerized versions of songs I've sung to the baby.

E.g., to Nick Cave's 'The Mercy Seat': "I hear stories 'bout the baby/He is fat and kind of lazy/drives his mother crazy/with his many cries..."

The baby has a bunch of "this animal makes this sound" toys, but the rooster is malfunctioning and the sound comes out like noise rock.

We will be leaning into this and teach him that all roosters greet the dawn by bellowing out Sonic Youth.

Et in Arcadia ego.