I’m not going to complain that my husband is starting to get abs after 2 weeks of going to the gym.

I’m going to complain that my body looks the same after the same period.

I can’t believe a man DMed me once and now I’m just curled up against him on a random Sunday afternoon

My newest obsession is watching people open Pokémon cards.
I shouldn’t get into that hobby…right??..

I turned 30 and learned how to fold a fitted sheet

Marriage is great because I can drink an aperol spritz and yap at my husband while he plays Smash on a Sunday afternoon

Stevie is brat

I cut my cat’s nails and he immediately went to eat after. I’m glad we have stress eating in common

Ask your husband who is favorite roommate has been. If they say someone who isn’t you, you should start a fight.

I’m begging Paramount+ to fix the commercial breaks for all the 90s Star Trek. It goes to break about 3 seconds before it should. Without fail. Someone will be mid sentence, it’ll go to commercial, irl come back for 3secs, then fade to black

Happy Soup Bowl Sunday

I need a new tattoo. I think someone poking me a billion times would heal me.

Imagine having a horrible week, then someone takes your glasses. It’s almost comical how bad this week has been

“I’ve been doing better since I started living with someone I love”

-my husband to his parents

I told myself I would delete twitter and remove one social media platform without downloading another….anyways, I’m here now