i had a dream i worked in an underwater restaurant and people kept ordering ice in their drinks and then getting mad at me when it would float away. and i’d tell them beforehand that the ice would float away & they’d be like lol no that’s not how it works just give me the ice.

theyre inventing the opposite of ozempic that actually makes you happy. and theyre calling it yummy foods and treats

a lot of people who want to see your side profile will ask you to drive them somewhere and then tell you to "look at the road" but you need to remember not to fall for this

what’s sad is that the first person to fry an ant with a magnifying glass was probably just trying to look

If someone wants to make good use of AI, make an extension that only mutes Siddhu on hotstar

She slytherin on my wand and gave my hog warts @harrypotterfp.bsky.social

hey girl, are you (be cool and edgy) a gun (but not too edgy!) because you're pretty (great job, you've fucked this up already no going back) and i want you in my mouth? (say something british now, that never fails) tally-ho!