Vita Adae et Evae We crack open the Latin version of Vita Adae et Evae (aka The Life of Adam and Eve)—a pseudepigrapha text pinned to Moses long after the fact—and immediately trip over multiple editions, from Greek to Armenian, because of course the Bible multiverse needed DLC. We’re reading the English translation of the Latin because it’s the most readable for non-scholars who still want the tea without the footnote hangover. Chapters 1–21 deliver premium chaos: Adam and Eve spend a week not eating (apparently “full apple” is a superfood?) then embark on a hunger strike because post-Eden snacks are “animal food.” Adam contemplates “angelic food,” Eve contemplates… death, and we contemplate how anyone survived the Bronze Age with this decision-making. Meanwhile, Satan (Sir Sneckles, if you’re nasty) explains his villain origin story: he refused to worship Adam per Michael’s command, got demoted from five-star-heaven to Best Western hell-adjacent, and decided petty revenge was the vibe. Honestly? It reads like a celestial HR dispute. We also skewer the text’s sexism—as Eve gets painted dramatic-for-plot while Adam whines about losing his divine DoorDash—and we roast God’s third-person management style. Then we cap the night with housekeeping: yes, this is a multi-parter (57 micro-chapters!), and yes, we record live on Discord every Tuesday at 10pm ET—come heckle us in real time. 👉 Listen now at sacrilegiousdiscourse.com 👉 Join our godless rebellion on Discord: discord.gg/VBnyTYV6nC 👉 Support the snark on Patreon: patreon.com/sacrilegiousdiscourse 📌 Topics Covered: * Which version are we even reading? Why Latin > Greek (this time) for sanity’s sake. * Pseudepigrapha 101: “Moses wrote it” … sure, Jan. * Satan’s grievance: “I’m not worshiping Dirt Man.” (Michael says “do it,” Satan says “nah.”) * Hunger Games, Eden Edition: Two weeks without food because Olive Garden ≠ McDonald’s. * Eve as scapegoat, again: We side-eye the blame-shifting and point out Adam had the instructions too. * Discord Live Tuesdays @ 10pm ET: Come correct our pronunciations and roast along. 💬 Best Quote from the Episode:“I’m gonna go out on a limb here and kind of defend the devil a little bit.” Follow along with us here: https://onthewaytoithaca.wordpress.com/apocrypha-collection/vita-adae-et-evae-en/ --- Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We’re pre-gaming Enoch—the apocryphal fever dream Christians can’t stop half-quoting when angels get horny and giants show up. Consider this your atheist field guide to the Watchers, their disastrous “heavenly HR violations,” and how this book helped turbocharge demon lore, apocalyptic fanfic, and every YouTuber who thinks fallen angels invented metallurgy just to ruin your day. We also get into why Enoch didn’t make the Protestant cut, how it still haunts modern theology, and the messy overlap with Genesis 6 (hello, Nephilim). Expect snark, side-quests, and a few “did the prophet just say that out loud?” moments—because yes, Enoch is that extra. Listen, rage, laugh, repeat… then come argue with us on Discord. 👉 Listen now at sacrilegiousdiscourse.com 👉 Join our godless rebellion on Discord: discord.gg/VBnyTYV6nC 👉 Support the snark on Patreon: patreon.com/sacrilegiousdiscourse 📌 Topics Covered: * Who are the Watchers? Angelic creeps, cosmic tattletales, or both * Nephilim 101: Giants, myths, and why this still infects pop theology * Why Enoch got the boot: Canon politics and apocrypha drama * Enoch vs. Genesis 6: Same lore, wilder energy * Apocalypse aesthetics: Demons, doom, and second-temple fan service * Modern fallout: From church basements to conspiracy TikTok --- Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Moses gets a glow-up, Pharaoh gets the ick, and we get pedantic about timelines. In this one, we blitz from the patriarchs (Abraham → Isaac → Jacob → Joseph) to the start of Exodus—with a detour through Job (aka “God took a dare and your kids paid for it”) and two juicy side texts: Testaments of the Twelve Patriarchs and the Book of Jubilees. We drag the “430 vs. 400 years in Egypt” math fight, list out the Ten Plagues (gnats that probably weren’t fruit flies, boils, darkness, dead firstborn—fun!), and side-eye how Passover gets reframed in modern practice. Then we crack open the Apocrypha-adjacent goodies: Testaments of the Twelve Patriarchs (the “deathbed confessions + prophecies” expansion pack slotted after Genesis 49) and Jubilees, which claims angels explained world history to Moses in tidy 49-year “jubilee” chunks during his 40 days on Sinai—because what the Torah really needed was… a showrunner’s timeline board and stricter Sabbath law before the law. Chef’s kiss. Also: the hosts spiral (hilariously) about poverty shaming, “get a job” brain, and how Christianity’s many add-on myths make it impossible to say what “the Bible really teaches.” Bring your side-eye and a measuring tape; God’s weirdly precise about tabernacle cubits and weirdly vague about how not to get smote. Listen now, argue later. 👉 Listen now at sacrilegiousdiscourse.com. Join the snark pile and help keep the lights on: Support the snark on Patreon: patreon.com/sacrilegiousdiscourse • Join our godless rebellion on Discord: discord.gg/VBnyTYV6nC. 📌 Topics Covered: * Exodus timeline: 400 vs. 430 years in Egypt—why the Bible can’t math. * Ten Plagues, no chill: frogs, gnats/ticks, “beastly flies,” boils, darkness, and the firstborn massacre (Passover). * Job = cosmic dare: loyalty tests, replacement kids, and why “believe women” still matters post-Potiphar’s wife. * Testaments of the Twelve Patriarchs: post-Genesis 49 deathbed speeches & messianic vibes. * Book of Jubilees: angels brief Moses; history retold in 49-year blocks; laws before the Law. * Tabernacle micromanagement vs. moral vagueness: God loves measurements, hates clarity. * Why Judaism/Christianity aren’t monoliths: traditions diverge, fan-lore accumulates, doctrine spaghetti ensues. 💬 Best Quote from the Episode:“We are doing Bible shit.” 👉 Listen now at sacrilegiousdiscourse.com 👉 Join our godless rebellion on Discord: discord.gg/VBnyTYV6nC 👉 Support the snark on Patreon: patreon.com/sacrilegiousdiscourse --- Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Your favorite godless duo kicks off a new arc by shoving Genesis back under the microscope—then gleefully coloring outside the canonical lines. We define Apocrypha (the “hidden/secret” stuff) and Pseudepigrapha (the “falsely attributed” stuff) before diving into why so much juicy lore lives outside the official cut. Think origin-story patch notes: second-Temple authors, bonus angels, Satan cameos, and the ultimate “deleted scenes” energy. (Also, yes, someone says they’re never reading the Old Testament again. Mood.) From there, we zoom into Genesis 1–11—creation, exile, murder, flood, and that adorable language-collapse at Babel—and tee up the apocryphal expansions that try to make the whiplash timelines…you know, make sense. Enter The Life of Adam and Eve (aka the Apocalypse of Moses) with grief, fasting, angelic burials, and Eve’s own post-Eden testimony; plus the hosts call it what it is: Bible fan fiction—and they mean that as a compliment. Then it’s a roll call for the “extras” you were never taught: 1 Enoch / 2 Enoch, Testaments of the Twelve Patriarchs, and the sprawling Book of Jubilees that basically retells Genesis and chunks of Exodus—because of course it does. Strap in; we’re mapping the timeline, roasting the canon, and promising to actually read some of these wild texts next. Listen now, bring your rage, and bring a friend. 👉 Listen now at sacrilegiousdiscourse.com 👉 Join our godless rebellion on Discord: discord.gg/VBnyTYV6nC 👉 Support the snark on Patreon: patreon.com/sacrilegiousdiscourse 📌 Topics Covered: * Apocrypha vs. Pseudepigrapha—what’s “hidden,” what’s “faked,” and why it matters * Genesis 1–11 speedrun: creation, exile, Cain & Abel, the Flood, Babel * The Life of Adam and Eve (Apocalypse of Moses)—Eve’s POV, angel funerals, cosmic guilt * Why Enoch keeps showing up in everyone’s theology like a mysterious uncle with visions * Jubilees and Testaments of the Twelve Patriarchs—when ancient editors couldn’t stop “fixing” Genesis * The hosts’ thesis: apocrypha = context, color, and all the inconvenient bits your pastor glossed over 💬 Best Quote from the Episode:“I will fucking never read the Old Testament ever again.”  --- Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.