Royal Fools
@royalfools.bsky.social
Boston Born, LA Based Alt Rock Duo
Identical Twins
Identical Twins
Whenever someone I know knows someone else I know from a different context I call it a crossover episode
March 10, 2025 at 7:44 AM
Whenever someone I know knows someone else I know from a different context I call it a crossover episode
Need to be so famous I can’t do jury duty because I’d sway the other jurors
March 8, 2025 at 5:04 PM
Need to be so famous I can’t do jury duty because I’d sway the other jurors
March 8, 2025 at 3:29 AM
Command hooks could give me a jackhammer and it would make less of a mess of my apartment walls
March 7, 2025 at 8:38 AM
Command hooks could give me a jackhammer and it would make less of a mess of my apartment walls
“You guys are just jealous” I mutter as I eat the most disgusting thing to grace human lips since your dad met your mom
March 5, 2025 at 7:00 PM
“You guys are just jealous” I mutter as I eat the most disgusting thing to grace human lips since your dad met your mom
Every time they take my blood I say “they took my blahddddd” just like that. Most of the time they hit me for this.
March 4, 2025 at 7:15 AM
Every time they take my blood I say “they took my blahddddd” just like that. Most of the time they hit me for this.
No more Oscars I’m bored they should cage fight
March 3, 2025 at 8:44 AM
No more Oscars I’m bored they should cage fight
I was born in the right generation I just asked my friend to go check this persons Instagram so I could talk shit w the right pronouns
February 23, 2025 at 9:05 AM
I was born in the right generation I just asked my friend to go check this persons Instagram so I could talk shit w the right pronouns
If comfortable silence is the goal in a relationship me and my Uber drivers are tight as hell
January 28, 2025 at 6:48 PM
If comfortable silence is the goal in a relationship me and my Uber drivers are tight as hell
Children's TV had me thinking getting sprayed by a skunk was not only possible but inevitable
January 16, 2025 at 8:24 AM
Children's TV had me thinking getting sprayed by a skunk was not only possible but inevitable
It’s hard enough to let friends see you elliptical let alone enemies
January 14, 2025 at 11:39 PM
It’s hard enough to let friends see you elliptical let alone enemies
Picture from two nights ago in Westwood, Los Angeles of the #pacificpalisadesfires I hope to god I never see something like this again
January 10, 2025 at 8:29 AM
Picture from two nights ago in Westwood, Los Angeles of the #pacificpalisadesfires I hope to god I never see something like this again
Anytime I get a really dumb injury I want to say I got it playing lacrosse just so everyone thinks lacrosse is stupid
January 7, 2025 at 7:34 AM
Anytime I get a really dumb injury I want to say I got it playing lacrosse just so everyone thinks lacrosse is stupid
If I was from Rhode Island I would always call it Chode Island are you kidding me
January 3, 2025 at 1:30 AM
If I was from Rhode Island I would always call it Chode Island are you kidding me
she bon on my jon til I jovi
January 1, 2025 at 7:15 PM
she bon on my jon til I jovi
Sometimes if I look out a window too long I wonder if my husband will ever return from sea
December 31, 2024 at 6:11 PM
Sometimes if I look out a window too long I wonder if my husband will ever return from sea
Jimmy Carter I got 10 points off on a test in fifth grade for calling you Jim
December 30, 2024 at 2:55 PM
Jimmy Carter I got 10 points off on a test in fifth grade for calling you Jim
People are moving from one studio apartment to the next with a box labelled "kitchen".. girl it's one room
December 29, 2024 at 6:16 PM
People are moving from one studio apartment to the next with a box labelled "kitchen".. girl it's one room
Whenever I’m restocking beer in my fridge I feel like one of those momma restock accounts, like maybe I’m an alcoholic or maybe I’m a single mother doing her best
December 28, 2024 at 4:50 PM
Whenever I’m restocking beer in my fridge I feel like one of those momma restock accounts, like maybe I’m an alcoholic or maybe I’m a single mother doing her best
God told me I could lie a little bit if it’s funny
December 28, 2024 at 1:34 AM
God told me I could lie a little bit if it’s funny
Life is a series of finding which emergency exits make noise and which are filthy liars
December 25, 2024 at 12:01 AM
Life is a series of finding which emergency exits make noise and which are filthy liars
I could never be on love island I would get sunburnt
December 23, 2024 at 6:52 PM
I could never be on love island I would get sunburnt
My hobbies are:
-picking at my face
-dry heaving
-picking at my face
-dry heaving
December 22, 2024 at 4:31 PM
My hobbies are:
-picking at my face
-dry heaving
-picking at my face
-dry heaving
Yea I have ADHD but I don’t need adderall. I just need a guy to follow me around who will shoot me in my motherfucking skull if I don’t do my work in a timely manner.
December 22, 2024 at 4:29 AM
Yea I have ADHD but I don’t need adderall. I just need a guy to follow me around who will shoot me in my motherfucking skull if I don’t do my work in a timely manner.
No of course I won’t send it to her I need her to stumble upon it in her feed and think of me wistfully
December 20, 2024 at 10:42 PM
No of course I won’t send it to her I need her to stumble upon it in her feed and think of me wistfully