National Geographic’s version of an orgy. 🦭🦭🦭🦭🦭

Appalled at the ignorance regarding the historical significance of Cinco de Mayo. It has nothing to do with wanton behavior, or margaritas or tequila.

It is a sacred celebration of the day Jesus and Suzanne Somers joined forces to sign the U.S. Constitution, you imbeciles.

Let's hope whoever stole Kristi Noem's purse donated her cash to a puppy rescue.

It’s National Only Child Day and I’ll celebrate by sharing absolutely nothing with anyone.

If you're an old friend and you've lost your looks, sure, I still want to see you.

But if you rejected me romantically and you've lost your looks, rest assured, I REALLY want to see you.

Happy Lunar New Year to all who celebrate! 🇨🇳🥢🥠🥮

2025 is the Year of the Snake. 🐍

Those born in a snake year are said to be intelligent, mysterious, cautious, wise and intuitive.

They’re also scaly and have fangs, so best to avoid these people altogether.

This was a very welcome sight this morning; the snow in them is about two months overdue - but it’s finally here!

Let’s hope this bodes well for rainfall all over SoCal. 🗻🌨️ ☔️

I’ve once again put reindeer horns on my car, and I don’t think my car is very happy with me.

My dog, however, is TREMENDOUSLY relieved. 🦌🚘🦮

As a child of the '70's, I like to think that every time I enter a room, an invisible studio audience hoots and cheers wildly, waiting for me to utter my version of "Dy-no-mite!" or "Kiss my grits!" or "Aaaaay!". Plus, I cease to exist between May and September.

If L-Tryptophan was LSD, I'd be having more flashbacks than THE GODFATHER trilogy.

Getting a good night's sleep tonight because there are 17,000 calories waiting for me to ingest them tomorrow.

Given the current political situation, I’m guessing the turkeys would’ve preferred NOT to be pardoned.

The culture here makes it possible.

After Jan 6th I privately confronted Mace for lying about my story bc she too was terrified in her office.

I said as another assault survivor you know how harmful what you did is. Why? She said “whatever you know it’s a game, just points on the board”

Uhh no???

Some days you’re the Humphrey.

And some days you’re the bully stick. 🐕🦴

Hello! Anybody here?