If you get mcnuggets with Australians, it's getting Maccas with the crackas

(Subtweet) It's amazing how often I'm like this person would like this tweet, i should send it to them. and then they retweet it.

Eventually my cat will learn he's not allowed to have pizza.

Since I don't actually have any followers on here, might as well use this space to subtweet people.

And holy shit, I subtwote on actual twitter and it worked. Never thought that would happen.

First set of the year. Did a bunch of new jokes, hope you like them! Thanks to Adam's Bomb Comedy for letting be perform. #comedy #stand #up #standup #openmic #dc #dcstandup

www.youtube.com/watch?v=VN5d...

Gotcha day pics in the snow #cat #catsofbsky

Screwed McFucked

Is this anything??

My new girlfriend will only have sex with me after I work out. I call her the DOMSinatrix.

New Year, new fantasy football championship.

Alright, time to start using this thing.