Rotten slop
@pumpkiniscrying.bsky.social
Anonymous for personal reasons.
If you were told of this account by my main, I trust you with the knowledge that this account exists.
If you were told of this account by my main, I trust you with the knowledge that this account exists.
Why am k so fucjing depensant
Why csnt I fucntion on my own snumore
Why csnt I fucntion on my own snumore
December 6, 2025 at 7:56 AM
Why am k so fucjing depensant
Why csnt I fucntion on my own snumore
Why csnt I fucntion on my own snumore
I fucking hate myself I fucking hate myself I fucking hate myself I fucking hate myself I fucking hate myself I fucking hate myself I fucking hate myself I fucking hate myself I fucking hate myself I fucking hate myself I fucking hate myself I fucking hate myself I fucking hate myself
December 6, 2025 at 7:54 AM
I fucking hate myself I fucking hate myself I fucking hate myself I fucking hate myself I fucking hate myself I fucking hate myself I fucking hate myself I fucking hate myself I fucking hate myself I fucking hate myself I fucking hate myself I fucking hate myself I fucking hate myself
...bad thoughts..
sweetheart isn't awake to comfort me..
sweetheart isn't awake to comfort me..
December 6, 2025 at 7:42 AM
...bad thoughts..
sweetheart isn't awake to comfort me..
sweetheart isn't awake to comfort me..
Really love when someone I love gets mad at me because of the result of their failure to communicate.
They just go "hmph." And wait for me to play 20 questions with them to find out what kind of upset they are.
They just go "hmph." And wait for me to play 20 questions with them to find out what kind of upset they are.
December 5, 2025 at 4:00 AM
Really love when someone I love gets mad at me because of the result of their failure to communicate.
They just go "hmph." And wait for me to play 20 questions with them to find out what kind of upset they are.
They just go "hmph." And wait for me to play 20 questions with them to find out what kind of upset they are.
Today I felt.. Unnaturally tired. I don't like that.
December 2, 2025 at 5:30 AM
Today I felt.. Unnaturally tired. I don't like that.
I am not okay I am not okay I am not okay I am not okay I am not okay I am not okay I am not okay I am not okay I am not okay I am not okay I am not okay I am not okay I am not okay I am not okay I am not okay I am not okay I am not okay I am not okay I am not okay I am not okay I am not okay
December 1, 2025 at 3:49 AM
I am not okay I am not okay I am not okay I am not okay I am not okay I am not okay I am not okay I am not okay I am not okay I am not okay I am not okay I am not okay I am not okay I am not okay I am not okay I am not okay I am not okay I am not okay I am not okay I am not okay I am not okay
Where has my imagination gone
November 28, 2025 at 2:34 AM
Where has my imagination gone
I honestly expect more from life, I don't know why.
I'm aware I'm not going to get what I expect.
..But it still disappoints me when I don't.
I'm aware I'm not going to get what I expect.
..But it still disappoints me when I don't.
November 26, 2025 at 5:41 PM
I honestly expect more from life, I don't know why.
I'm aware I'm not going to get what I expect.
..But it still disappoints me when I don't.
I'm aware I'm not going to get what I expect.
..But it still disappoints me when I don't.
Chain me up. Make me starve. Tear my eyes.
Spill my guts. Lather with salt. Abuse me.
Watch me cry. Make me weep. Observe me plead.
No matter what. Make me suffer. Give me pain.
Anything but to kill me.
Spill my guts. Lather with salt. Abuse me.
Watch me cry. Make me weep. Observe me plead.
No matter what. Make me suffer. Give me pain.
Anything but to kill me.
November 11, 2025 at 4:14 AM
Chain me up. Make me starve. Tear my eyes.
Spill my guts. Lather with salt. Abuse me.
Watch me cry. Make me weep. Observe me plead.
No matter what. Make me suffer. Give me pain.
Anything but to kill me.
Spill my guts. Lather with salt. Abuse me.
Watch me cry. Make me weep. Observe me plead.
No matter what. Make me suffer. Give me pain.
Anything but to kill me.
Thank you everyone! I feel a lot better now.. Hopefully I won't need to do this again!
...Could I get some words of encouragement from everyone?
...I've been feeling really upset lately..
...I've been feeling really upset lately..
October 15, 2025 at 7:30 PM
Thank you everyone! I feel a lot better now.. Hopefully I won't need to do this again!
...Could I get some words of encouragement from everyone?
...I've been feeling really upset lately..
...I've been feeling really upset lately..
October 15, 2025 at 3:26 AM
...Could I get some words of encouragement from everyone?
...I've been feeling really upset lately..
...I've been feeling really upset lately..
I genuinely teared up earlier. I didn't think that when I came back, that I'd be missed so much... It boosted my confidence, that's for sure.
October 11, 2025 at 3:29 PM
I genuinely teared up earlier. I didn't think that when I came back, that I'd be missed so much... It boosted my confidence, that's for sure.
There's one thing I'm scared of more than anything and that's hurting the people I love
I don't ever want do, and when I do, I just go into an anxiety meltdown
Thinking straight becomes difficult, I can't control my tears, my speaking goes floppy, etc..
I don't ever want to hurt Shio. I'm scared to.
I don't ever want do, and when I do, I just go into an anxiety meltdown
Thinking straight becomes difficult, I can't control my tears, my speaking goes floppy, etc..
I don't ever want to hurt Shio. I'm scared to.
October 1, 2025 at 10:47 AM
There's one thing I'm scared of more than anything and that's hurting the people I love
I don't ever want do, and when I do, I just go into an anxiety meltdown
Thinking straight becomes difficult, I can't control my tears, my speaking goes floppy, etc..
I don't ever want to hurt Shio. I'm scared to.
I don't ever want do, and when I do, I just go into an anxiety meltdown
Thinking straight becomes difficult, I can't control my tears, my speaking goes floppy, etc..
I don't ever want to hurt Shio. I'm scared to.
I never stopped to think about the fact that I enjoy suffering
I get joy from pain, physical or mental
I fucking LOVE suffering and I can't help it
Guess I really am a masochist after all
I get joy from pain, physical or mental
I fucking LOVE suffering and I can't help it
Guess I really am a masochist after all
September 28, 2025 at 6:51 AM
I never stopped to think about the fact that I enjoy suffering
I get joy from pain, physical or mental
I fucking LOVE suffering and I can't help it
Guess I really am a masochist after all
I get joy from pain, physical or mental
I fucking LOVE suffering and I can't help it
Guess I really am a masochist after all
I'm fine everything's fine I'm okay I'm fine hehehhehahahhahahahahahahahhahahaahahahahaa
September 28, 2025 at 6:45 AM
I'm fine everything's fine I'm okay I'm fine hehehhehahahhahahahahahahahhahahaahahahahaa
God feeling like shit again..
WHY?? NOTHING BAD HAPPENED TODAY.
WHY DO I FEEL LIKE SHIT AGAIN??
I HATE MYSELF FOR EVERY REASON.
WHY CAN'T I STOP FEELING LIKE I DID SOMETHING WRONG AGAIN?
WHY?? NOTHING BAD HAPPENED TODAY.
WHY DO I FEEL LIKE SHIT AGAIN??
I HATE MYSELF FOR EVERY REASON.
WHY CAN'T I STOP FEELING LIKE I DID SOMETHING WRONG AGAIN?
September 25, 2025 at 3:26 AM
God feeling like shit again..
WHY?? NOTHING BAD HAPPENED TODAY.
WHY DO I FEEL LIKE SHIT AGAIN??
I HATE MYSELF FOR EVERY REASON.
WHY CAN'T I STOP FEELING LIKE I DID SOMETHING WRONG AGAIN?
WHY?? NOTHING BAD HAPPENED TODAY.
WHY DO I FEEL LIKE SHIT AGAIN??
I HATE MYSELF FOR EVERY REASON.
WHY CAN'T I STOP FEELING LIKE I DID SOMETHING WRONG AGAIN?
I woke up feeling like utter shit.
I felt woozy, and I felt like I was going to vomit my entire body's worth of mass.
I didn't know to school today because I already get carsick easy. The last thing I need is to already feel like I'm gonna throw up.
I felt woozy, and I felt like I was going to vomit my entire body's worth of mass.
I didn't know to school today because I already get carsick easy. The last thing I need is to already feel like I'm gonna throw up.
September 24, 2025 at 1:38 PM
I woke up feeling like utter shit.
I felt woozy, and I felt like I was going to vomit my entire body's worth of mass.
I didn't know to school today because I already get carsick easy. The last thing I need is to already feel like I'm gonna throw up.
I felt woozy, and I felt like I was going to vomit my entire body's worth of mass.
I didn't know to school today because I already get carsick easy. The last thing I need is to already feel like I'm gonna throw up.
GOD, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME??
I WANT TO LIVE A NORMAL LIFE SO BADLY!
I WANT TO BE NEUROTYOICAL!
I'M SICK OF BEING ME. I'M SICK OF BEING WHO I AM AND I CAN'T CHANGE IT!
I HATE EVERY PART ABOUT MYSELF!
I WISH I WASN'T AUTISTIC OR ADD OR WHATEVER THE FUCK ELSE I WSS DIAGNOSED WITH!
I WANT TO LIVE A NORMAL LIFE SO BADLY!
I WANT TO BE NEUROTYOICAL!
I'M SICK OF BEING ME. I'M SICK OF BEING WHO I AM AND I CAN'T CHANGE IT!
I HATE EVERY PART ABOUT MYSELF!
I WISH I WASN'T AUTISTIC OR ADD OR WHATEVER THE FUCK ELSE I WSS DIAGNOSED WITH!
September 24, 2025 at 6:46 AM
GOD, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME??
I WANT TO LIVE A NORMAL LIFE SO BADLY!
I WANT TO BE NEUROTYOICAL!
I'M SICK OF BEING ME. I'M SICK OF BEING WHO I AM AND I CAN'T CHANGE IT!
I HATE EVERY PART ABOUT MYSELF!
I WISH I WASN'T AUTISTIC OR ADD OR WHATEVER THE FUCK ELSE I WSS DIAGNOSED WITH!
I WANT TO LIVE A NORMAL LIFE SO BADLY!
I WANT TO BE NEUROTYOICAL!
I'M SICK OF BEING ME. I'M SICK OF BEING WHO I AM AND I CAN'T CHANGE IT!
I HATE EVERY PART ABOUT MYSELF!
I WISH I WASN'T AUTISTIC OR ADD OR WHATEVER THE FUCK ELSE I WSS DIAGNOSED WITH!
God, I fucking HATE myself.
The only thing I ever feel for myself is HATE.
I HATE how much of a husk I feel like.
I can't even find the words to cheer up Shio.
If I can't even cheer up the person I love, whats the point of me?
Some fucking circus clown? Someone everyone can watch break down for fun?
The only thing I ever feel for myself is HATE.
I HATE how much of a husk I feel like.
I can't even find the words to cheer up Shio.
If I can't even cheer up the person I love, whats the point of me?
Some fucking circus clown? Someone everyone can watch break down for fun?
There's that feeling again.
Or is it a lack of?
I don't know.
I feel empty about everything again.
Why does this happen?
Is it normal?
Did something cause me to feel this way?
I just feel.. Empty.
I know it will stop soon.
But why do I feel empty?
Or is it a lack of?
I don't know.
I feel empty about everything again.
Why does this happen?
Is it normal?
Did something cause me to feel this way?
I just feel.. Empty.
I know it will stop soon.
But why do I feel empty?
September 24, 2025 at 6:39 AM
God, I fucking HATE myself.
The only thing I ever feel for myself is HATE.
I HATE how much of a husk I feel like.
I can't even find the words to cheer up Shio.
If I can't even cheer up the person I love, whats the point of me?
Some fucking circus clown? Someone everyone can watch break down for fun?
The only thing I ever feel for myself is HATE.
I HATE how much of a husk I feel like.
I can't even find the words to cheer up Shio.
If I can't even cheer up the person I love, whats the point of me?
Some fucking circus clown? Someone everyone can watch break down for fun?
There's that feeling again.
Or is it a lack of?
I don't know.
I feel empty about everything again.
Why does this happen?
Is it normal?
Did something cause me to feel this way?
I just feel.. Empty.
I know it will stop soon.
But why do I feel empty?
Or is it a lack of?
I don't know.
I feel empty about everything again.
Why does this happen?
Is it normal?
Did something cause me to feel this way?
I just feel.. Empty.
I know it will stop soon.
But why do I feel empty?
September 24, 2025 at 6:26 AM
There's that feeling again.
Or is it a lack of?
I don't know.
I feel empty about everything again.
Why does this happen?
Is it normal?
Did something cause me to feel this way?
I just feel.. Empty.
I know it will stop soon.
But why do I feel empty?
Or is it a lack of?
I don't know.
I feel empty about everything again.
Why does this happen?
Is it normal?
Did something cause me to feel this way?
I just feel.. Empty.
I know it will stop soon.
But why do I feel empty?
Why do I think like this? Nearly every thought about myself is degrading. I can't even find peace in my own mind. I'm just perpetually upset while I blame myself for everything bad that's ever happened in my life. I want to think differently, but I can't.
September 22, 2025 at 4:10 AM
Why do I think like this? Nearly every thought about myself is degrading. I can't even find peace in my own mind. I'm just perpetually upset while I blame myself for everything bad that's ever happened in my life. I want to think differently, but I can't.
...I also don't deserve the people I have now, thanks to Bluesky... But I think everyone I know now, is a blessing.
I don't believe I deserve a happy future.
I don't forgive myself for what I've done.
I deserve to rot in a ditch.
I deserve torture beyond pain.
I deserve the worst punishment known to mankind.
I deserve everything bad, and NEVER will I deserve a happy future.
I don't forgive myself for what I've done.
I deserve to rot in a ditch.
I deserve torture beyond pain.
I deserve the worst punishment known to mankind.
I deserve everything bad, and NEVER will I deserve a happy future.
September 21, 2025 at 5:45 AM
...I also don't deserve the people I have now, thanks to Bluesky... But I think everyone I know now, is a blessing.
I don't believe I deserve a happy future.
I don't forgive myself for what I've done.
I deserve to rot in a ditch.
I deserve torture beyond pain.
I deserve the worst punishment known to mankind.
I deserve everything bad, and NEVER will I deserve a happy future.
I don't forgive myself for what I've done.
I deserve to rot in a ditch.
I deserve torture beyond pain.
I deserve the worst punishment known to mankind.
I deserve everything bad, and NEVER will I deserve a happy future.
September 21, 2025 at 5:21 AM
I don't believe I deserve a happy future.
I don't forgive myself for what I've done.
I deserve to rot in a ditch.
I deserve torture beyond pain.
I deserve the worst punishment known to mankind.
I deserve everything bad, and NEVER will I deserve a happy future.
I don't forgive myself for what I've done.
I deserve to rot in a ditch.
I deserve torture beyond pain.
I deserve the worst punishment known to mankind.
I deserve everything bad, and NEVER will I deserve a happy future.
What's wrong with me?
I'm upset about nothing, literally nothing. Nothing bad has happened, and I haven't been thinking about things that make me sad.
..So why am I really sad right now?
I'm upset about nothing, literally nothing. Nothing bad has happened, and I haven't been thinking about things that make me sad.
..So why am I really sad right now?
September 20, 2025 at 3:45 AM
What's wrong with me?
I'm upset about nothing, literally nothing. Nothing bad has happened, and I haven't been thinking about things that make me sad.
..So why am I really sad right now?
I'm upset about nothing, literally nothing. Nothing bad has happened, and I haven't been thinking about things that make me sad.
..So why am I really sad right now?
Within the past year alone, I've fucked up more times then should be considered human. It's torn my other friend group apart time, after time, after time. I'm trying so hard not to make mistakes with everyone here on Bluesky, because I don't want the same thing to happen here.
September 19, 2025 at 4:29 AM
Within the past year alone, I've fucked up more times then should be considered human. It's torn my other friend group apart time, after time, after time. I'm trying so hard not to make mistakes with everyone here on Bluesky, because I don't want the same thing to happen here.