There are times when you're just hanging on and getting to tomorrow. I'm at that moment right now and have been for the past couple of months to varying degrees. I just want things done and over with so I can move on.

“I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo.
"So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”

― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

It's surreal seeing all this from the outside. It's jarring knowing my friends and family aren't safe but I can only do so much to help them.

It's heavy to know that the door to return is locked, even if I never wanted to open it. It's the finality of that feeling and it really hitting home.