The wildfire smoke sucks. Was here in Alberta for a week in mid-May, I've had a cough since then, slowly getting better.

police officer: do you know why I pulled you over

me: (adjusting my apple goggles to see if the pedestrian lying on the hood of my self driving tesla is real or an illusion) give me a second

hell yeah i love using a social network created by a guy who didn't endorse RFK Jr.

*whispering*

I regret to inform you that...