This feels like the plant version of those people who are like “no matter what I eat, I just can’t seem to gain weight”, but in all honesty, my big, beautiful, bird of paradise palm won’t stop growing and she’s hit the ceiling. What do I do??

As someone who has worked in overseas manufacturing for over 10 years, I’m kind of excited for everyone who fucked around in November, to now find out. 🫠

How is there not a word to describe when you accidentally wear a pair of underwear that you’ve been meaning to throw away because it lost all elasticity but you don’t realize it until you are out in the world and are then immensely uncomfortable. This is a quarterly occurrence for me.

Is this Los Angeles’s final boss?

Current knitting project requires the silliest needles. Like, girl…

I guess you could say they *removes sunglasses* murdered their glutes… #legday

Hot take: if you have ibs, you should get a special badge and you should be allowed to commandeer any public or private bathroom the way that the police can like commander a city bus.

🫡

I recently switched from my NY public library membership to my new LA public library membership on Libby. LAPL allows you to have 30 loans AND 30 holds?!?! I am drunk on this new power. How does one borrow 30 books at once?!

Have you ever had a piece of fruit so perfect that you understand how religion became a thing? I had an orange so perfectly ripe that I was like yeah, maybe there is a god.

Knitting is fun because sometimes you can’t really see the shape it’s taking until it comes off the needles and then you get to say “wow, what a strange scarf I just spent 20+ hrs making!”