But wait!!! There’s more

The gentle breeze on my leg hair is a bliss big razor has taken from me for far too long

Animals Crackers In My Soup

So it turns out lawyers are just high school bullies (Gabby Hanna voice)

“I will not apologize for what I may or may not have done with the Hoobastank bassist”

Why was Life With Derek like that? What was going on

I’m an avid enthusiast of one hit wonders

And her boyfriend leaves her at the Walmart and she starts living there, then she ends up giving birth to a daughter she names Americus , then the baby gets kidnapped and put in a nativity scene, then-

I’m on a mission to become a falconer

We end our date kissing in front of the expensive restaurant we’ve just dined at. The valet pulls my vehicle around. It’s a hippity-hop.

Error codes. Gnarly headbutts. Mike Tyson’s whole bare ass. What a night

Here I was thinking thinking we were all Electric Light Orchestra fans