Pirate
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piratejesus.bsky.social
Pirate
@piratejesus.bsky.social
Iunno man, I'm doin' my best.

Stay hydrated. Go Bills.
These frozen fry companies are out of their goddamn mind if they think I'm flipping these bastards individually.
February 17, 2026 at 10:04 PM
Befriending the crows by sitting on the roof and screaming whenever someone walks by.
February 10, 2026 at 10:10 PM
Casually toasting mini marshmallows with a lighter in the bathroom so I don't set off the smoke alarm.
February 2, 2026 at 5:18 PM
How the fuck does Brandon Beane assemble the worst Bills roster since 2018 and get fucking PROMOTED.

This roster is bottom 10 without Josh wtf lmao
January 19, 2026 at 4:01 PM
I've had a headache since the 2nd quarter, and I really, really didn't want to go to OT. God dammit Buffalo.
January 18, 2026 at 12:48 AM
I understand Josh Allen's pre-game vomiting now, because if Joe Brady was my OC I'd wanna throw up too.
January 11, 2026 at 6:28 PM
I don't complain about the Bills as much, but jfc Joe Brady could be replaced by a Magic 8-Ball with random plays and the offense would do better.
December 28, 2025 at 11:46 PM
My guy pulled through and I gave myself eye strain :)
It's concerning how much of my mental health is riding on a courier actually dropping off my Switch 2 tomorrow instead of making me wait.
October 16, 2025 at 11:14 PM
It's concerning how much of my mental health is riding on a courier actually dropping off my Switch 2 tomorrow instead of making me wait.
October 15, 2025 at 9:29 PM
Land Clark gave me a headache >:(
September 28, 2025 at 6:53 PM
So I switched from Spotify to a different music app a bit over a year ago, but I still pop in on Mondays for the Discover Weekly in case there's anything cool. Turns out that Spotify's basically forgotten who I am, because this is the most "generic department store radio" mix I've ever seen.
June 23, 2025 at 11:31 PM
Apparently Trader Joe's sells fertilized chicken eggs along with regular eggs and I can't stop thinking about the worst prank where you just shuffle the eggs around between cartons.
June 6, 2025 at 6:38 PM
Well at least I built a new computer before this country goes to shit, I guess.
April 3, 2025 at 12:29 AM
Maaan exercise fuckin' sucks, why didn't I get this over with 15 years ago
March 25, 2025 at 9:04 PM
Reposted by Pirate
new tf2 update is awesome
February 18, 2025 at 11:13 PM
If twitter gets mad and tries to stop you from doing something, you should probably do it :)

www.theverge.com/news/613997/...
X is blocking links to Signal
User handles can still be posted as a workaround.
www.theverge.com
February 17, 2025 at 11:10 PM
haha more like Kansas Shitty Chiefs right??

no wait where are you going
February 9, 2025 at 9:19 PM
Reposted by Pirate
50 Marches
50 Marches
50protests.com
February 4, 2025 at 2:58 PM
Some fuckin' bozo and his friend knocked on my door to ask if I wanted to hear "stories about Jesus Christ".

LMAO no go away
January 25, 2025 at 12:09 AM
Just wanna say it's super fucked up that staying up later hasn't made me wake up later, it's just made me more tired when I drag myself out of bed at 6am.
My least favorite thing about getting older is looking back fondly on when I used to be a degenerate night owl, and now my body's decided to turn into a morning person.

I just want to go back to being a fuckin' late-night gremlin but instead my body keeps waking up at 6am every day.
January 2, 2025 at 7:25 PM
Which fuckin' freak is out here putting blood in these oranges??
You mean to tell me this orange grew out of somebody's navel??
December 25, 2024 at 12:22 AM
Youtube finally figured out how to stop my adblocker
elmo from sesame street is making a funny face while sitting on a table .
ALT: elmo from sesame street is making a funny face while sitting on a table .
media.tenor.com
December 20, 2024 at 8:40 PM
Reposted by Pirate
It's been two days and I can't stop thinking about this
December 9, 2024 at 2:18 PM
My least favorite thing about getting older is looking back fondly on when I used to be a degenerate night owl, and now my body's decided to turn into a morning person.

I just want to go back to being a fuckin' late-night gremlin but instead my body keeps waking up at 6am every day.
December 9, 2024 at 3:05 PM