too many objectively funny bad things have been happening to me lately
November 19, 2025 at 8:29 PM
too many objectively funny bad things have been happening to me lately
good morning. i am being hunted for sport right now. its probably fine. im not super worried
November 6, 2025 at 4:52 PM
good morning. i am being hunted for sport right now. its probably fine. im not super worried
HUGE missed opportunity calling it a mammogram and not an inbreastigation
November 6, 2025 at 4:44 AM
HUGE missed opportunity calling it a mammogram and not an inbreastigation
DRUNK BY MYSELF LOCK YOUR DOORS HIDE YOUR WIFE
October 19, 2025 at 4:32 AM
DRUNK BY MYSELF LOCK YOUR DOORS HIDE YOUR WIFE
aching to get back to the yoyo
October 8, 2025 at 4:25 AM
aching to get back to the yoyo
making airplane noises while I guide a fork into an electrical socket
October 7, 2025 at 2:27 AM
making airplane noises while I guide a fork into an electrical socket
starting my period on day 3 post breakup has to be one of the cruelest things life could’ve thrown at me
September 29, 2025 at 7:13 PM
starting my period on day 3 post breakup has to be one of the cruelest things life could’ve thrown at me
why must outfit inspiration always strike when i have no event to attend 💔
September 13, 2025 at 10:18 PM
why must outfit inspiration always strike when i have no event to attend 💔
no matter how many times i babysit the parents coming home part never gets less awkward. it’ll probably be that way if i have kids and i watch their children too. why is it so painful every time
September 6, 2025 at 4:18 AM
no matter how many times i babysit the parents coming home part never gets less awkward. it’ll probably be that way if i have kids and i watch their children too. why is it so painful every time
just got high to read the terms and conditions
September 2, 2025 at 8:59 AM
just got high to read the terms and conditions
i’ll celebrate labor day when a man gives birth. tired of these sexist holidays
September 2, 2025 at 12:19 AM
i’ll celebrate labor day when a man gives birth. tired of these sexist holidays
abt to slide myself into a mortuary fridge
August 31, 2025 at 8:30 AM
abt to slide myself into a mortuary fridge
i’m tired of being part of the problem i want to be the whole problem
August 31, 2025 at 8:25 AM
i’m tired of being part of the problem i want to be the whole problem
no for sure yeah uh yeah dude i mean cmon like obviously yeah
August 31, 2025 at 3:23 AM
no for sure yeah uh yeah dude i mean cmon like obviously yeah
i know i did this to myself but does it really have to hurt so much…
August 26, 2025 at 1:34 AM
i know i did this to myself but does it really have to hurt so much…
yeast infection? nah..yeast collection. i’m using my clam as an oven to bake homemade sourdough for the crows in my neighborhood. it’s all fun and games until i show up with a gang full of birds demanding respect!
August 23, 2025 at 7:49 AM
yeast infection? nah..yeast collection. i’m using my clam as an oven to bake homemade sourdough for the crows in my neighborhood. it’s all fun and games until i show up with a gang full of birds demanding respect!
A as in Apple, B as in Bottom Jeans
August 22, 2025 at 2:49 PM
A as in Apple, B as in Bottom Jeans
@sorenericksen.bsky.social i i love you as though you were my lawyer, veteran, and librarian all rolled up into one spool of thread❤️
August 15, 2025 at 7:11 AM
@sorenericksen.bsky.social i i love you as though you were my lawyer, veteran, and librarian all rolled up into one spool of thread❤️
imagine if clenching your butt cheeks was the only thing keeping your body from falling apart like legos
August 14, 2025 at 11:53 PM
imagine if clenching your butt cheeks was the only thing keeping your body from falling apart like legos
on some cowabunga type shit
August 14, 2025 at 11:51 PM
on some cowabunga type shit
i can’t be trusted with a gun, i’d want to do bits with it. and obviously the bits would be funnier if the gun was loaded
August 14, 2025 at 11:44 PM
i can’t be trusted with a gun, i’d want to do bits with it. and obviously the bits would be funnier if the gun was loaded
got my dissociates degree
August 13, 2025 at 7:01 PM
got my dissociates degree
the titty squeeze means nicotine
August 13, 2025 at 7:30 AM
the titty squeeze means nicotine
i’m gonna start talking in the third person
August 13, 2025 at 4:27 AM
i’m gonna start talking in the third person
bouncing on it like the dvd logo (aimless technique, never satisfying, avoiding corners, etc.)
August 11, 2025 at 2:43 PM
bouncing on it like the dvd logo (aimless technique, never satisfying, avoiding corners, etc.)