Matthew Williams
@paleochicago.bsky.social
Professional Dad, former scientist and teacher. All-purpose nerd.
If you’re a student, you’re free to argue in a submitted essay that the signatories of the Treaty of Utrecht were guided by Jesus, that Catch-22 is based on Exodus, or that there are only two genders because God says so.
But in each case, you’d be wrong, and giving you a zero isn’t persecution.
But in each case, you’d be wrong, and giving you a zero isn’t persecution.
December 3, 2025 at 12:44 AM
If you’re a student, you’re free to argue in a submitted essay that the signatories of the Treaty of Utrecht were guided by Jesus, that Catch-22 is based on Exodus, or that there are only two genders because God says so.
But in each case, you’d be wrong, and giving you a zero isn’t persecution.
But in each case, you’d be wrong, and giving you a zero isn’t persecution.
Wrong! It was the Marines. What a liar.
June 9, 2025 at 11:51 PM
Wrong! It was the Marines. What a liar.
Having just watched the most recent episodes of Andor, my current mood in the face of incipient fascism is Mon Mothma at that fuckin wedding. I will not be taking questions at this time.
April 26, 2025 at 3:28 AM
Having just watched the most recent episodes of Andor, my current mood in the face of incipient fascism is Mon Mothma at that fuckin wedding. I will not be taking questions at this time.
Oh good. We’re saved.
March 24, 2025 at 10:37 PM
Oh good. We’re saved.
Thank god for all the Dumbfuckery, Egotism, and Incompetence hires in the current administration, without whom journalists (and really anyone else inadvertently included on the Groupchat of the Damned) would have to wait until *after* military strikes had already happened to hear about them.
March 24, 2025 at 10:10 PM
Thank god for all the Dumbfuckery, Egotism, and Incompetence hires in the current administration, without whom journalists (and really anyone else inadvertently included on the Groupchat of the Damned) would have to wait until *after* military strikes had already happened to hear about them.
Thank goodness Schumer preemptively capitulated or the Democrats might’ve actually used the little leverage they had to achieve something.
March 14, 2025 at 1:49 AM
Thank goodness Schumer preemptively capitulated or the Democrats might’ve actually used the little leverage they had to achieve something.
Let’s say for the sake of argument that Trump is *not* a Russian agent. If he was, how would that Oval Office meeting have gone differently?
February 28, 2025 at 10:08 PM
Let’s say for the sake of argument that Trump is *not* a Russian agent. If he was, how would that Oval Office meeting have gone differently?
They say bug, I say feature!
iPhone Dictation Feature Transcribes the Word ‘Racist’ as ‘Trump’
The company said it was working to fix the problem after iPhone users began reporting the issue.
www.nytimes.com
February 26, 2025 at 3:02 PM
They say bug, I say feature!
It’s probably just a coincidence.
Video Shows a Rare ‘Doomsday’ Fish Off the Coast of Mexico
Oarfish are rarely documented by scientists, but one was seen this month by a group visiting a beach in Mexico.
www.nytimes.com
February 21, 2025 at 1:07 AM
It’s probably just a coincidence.
Never thought MapQuest would be relevant again but man I’m having way too much fun with this.
Gulf of Map Explorer
Create and share your own custom Gulf maps with MapQuest
gulfof.mapquest.com
February 19, 2025 at 1:08 AM
Never thought MapQuest would be relevant again but man I’m having way too much fun with this.
Big congrats to brain worms. Huge win today.
February 13, 2025 at 9:49 PM
Big congrats to brain worms. Huge win today.
When the Eagles keep sacking Mahomes, even when they’re up by 20-30-odd points
a group of cartoon characters are standing in front of a christmas tree and looking surprised .
ALT: a group of cartoon characters are standing in front of a christmas tree and looking surprised .
media.tenor.com
February 10, 2025 at 2:54 AM
When the Eagles keep sacking Mahomes, even when they’re up by 20-30-odd points
So our esteemed President thinks we should own Panama, Greenland, all of Canada, and now Gaza. The only thing dumber than America First is its successor: America Everywhere.
February 5, 2025 at 2:23 AM
So our esteemed President thinks we should own Panama, Greenland, all of Canada, and now Gaza. The only thing dumber than America First is its successor: America Everywhere.
The people who’ve been saying that the government doesn’t do anything sure are giving Americans a real-time lesson in just how many vital things the government does for them.
January 28, 2025 at 9:26 PM
The people who’ve been saying that the government doesn’t do anything sure are giving Americans a real-time lesson in just how many vital things the government does for them.
Ah yes. The wasteful government spending on…treating disease. Gotta put a stop to that.
Trump Administration Halts H.I.V. Drug Distribution in Poor Countries
PEPFAR’s computer systems also are being taken offline, a sign that the program may not return, as Republican critics had hoped.
www.nytimes.com
January 28, 2025 at 12:02 AM
Ah yes. The wasteful government spending on…treating disease. Gotta put a stop to that.
Regarding the Elon salute-that-was-definitely-a-Nazi-salute thing, keep in mind that Neil Patrick Harris was dressed like this in Starship Troopers and there were *still* plenty of people who didn’t get that he was supposed to be a Nazi.
So…maybe some people are just terrible at recognizing Nazis?
So…maybe some people are just terrible at recognizing Nazis?
January 22, 2025 at 7:52 PM
Regarding the Elon salute-that-was-definitely-a-Nazi-salute thing, keep in mind that Neil Patrick Harris was dressed like this in Starship Troopers and there were *still* plenty of people who didn’t get that he was supposed to be a Nazi.
So…maybe some people are just terrible at recognizing Nazis?
So…maybe some people are just terrible at recognizing Nazis?
Is this game an actual game now?
January 21, 2025 at 3:47 AM
Is this game an actual game now?
Hell of a missed FG right there.
January 21, 2025 at 3:29 AM
Hell of a missed FG right there.
Just try to imagine the frothing, incandescent anger that would emanate from the chorus of right-wing online outrage-machine nutjobs if any Democratic President did this.
Trump Swears Oath Without His Hand on Bible, but He Wasn’t Required To
The tradition of swearing the oath of office on a Bible stretches back to George Washington, but not all presidents have observed it.
www.nytimes.com
January 21, 2025 at 12:24 AM
Just try to imagine the frothing, incandescent anger that would emanate from the chorus of right-wing online outrage-machine nutjobs if any Democratic President did this.
Not the border I thought they’d be all about but kudos to the Border Patrol for really getting into the xenophobic mood right off the bat.
Border Patrol Shooting Under Investigation in Vermont
State Police said the shooting happened on Interstate 91, but provided no additional details.
www.nytimes.com
January 20, 2025 at 10:59 PM
Not the border I thought they’d be all about but kudos to the Border Patrol for really getting into the xenophobic mood right off the bat.
Didn’t think my loins could get any more girded but here we are. Keep your people close and be ready to reach out to those who may not have as much support as you. It’s gonna suck but we can get through this. Good luck to you all.
a man wearing a helmet with the words if we stay together we survive written on it .
ALT: a man wearing a helmet with the words if we stay together we survive written on it .
media.tenor.com
January 20, 2025 at 1:53 PM
Didn’t think my loins could get any more girded but here we are. Keep your people close and be ready to reach out to those who may not have as much support as you. It’s gonna suck but we can get through this. Good luck to you all.
TikTok users after a harrowing 18 hours without any TikTok.
a man wearing a helmet and goggles is making a funny face .
ALT: a man wearing a helmet and goggles is making a funny face .
media.tenor.com
January 19, 2025 at 8:18 PM
TikTok users after a harrowing 18 hours without any TikTok.
USA destroying Venezuela right now. But it’s in soccer so it won’t affect the defense budget or anything.
January 18, 2025 at 8:53 PM
USA destroying Venezuela right now. But it’s in soccer so it won’t affect the defense budget or anything.
Moving the inauguration indoors ensures the dozens of attendees will have a good view of the speeches.
January 17, 2025 at 7:22 PM
Moving the inauguration indoors ensures the dozens of attendees will have a good view of the speeches.
It seems fitting that a drastically warming Earth, which Republicans are hell-bent on exploiting no matter what, will still blast everyone who stands outside in supplication to TFG with icy winds the entire time. I hope his hair freezes into an unusual and amusing shape mid-way through his speech.
January 17, 2025 at 4:14 PM
It seems fitting that a drastically warming Earth, which Republicans are hell-bent on exploiting no matter what, will still blast everyone who stands outside in supplication to TFG with icy winds the entire time. I hope his hair freezes into an unusual and amusing shape mid-way through his speech.